Happy Crimbo

To all my beloved friends and well wishers in blogville, happy holidays and best wishes for 2009.

Love you all

Is She Dead?

Hello everyone, hope you've been keeping well. Many thanks for all the messages left for me. Very much appreciated. I am not back yet but someone emailed something to me at work today and I feel I have to share it. I will be back soon...promise.

While struggling with the reality of being a human instead of a myth, the strong black woman passed away. Medical sources say she died of natural causes, but those who knew her know she died from being silent when she should have been screaming, smiling when she should have been raging, from being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them. She died from an overdose of other people clinging to her when she didn't even have energy for herself.

She died from loving men who didn't love themselves and could only offer her a crippled reflection. She died from raising children alone. She died from the lies her grandmother told her mother and her mother told her about life, men & racism. She died from being sexually abused as a child and having to take that truth everywhere she went every day of her life, exchanging the humiliation for guilt and back again.

She died from asphyxiation, from secrets she kept trying to burn away instead of allowing herself the kind of nervous breakdown she was entitled to, but only white girls could afford. She died from being responsible, because she was the last rung on the ladder and there was no one under her she could dump on. The strong black woman is dead.

She died from being dragged down and sat upon by un-evolved women posing as sisters and friends. She died from tolerating Mr. Pitiful, just to have a man around the house. She died from sacrificing herself for everybody and everything when what she really wanted to do was be a singer, a dancer, or some magnificent other. She died from lies of omission because she didn't want to bring the black man down.

She died from myths that would not allow her to show weakness without being chastised by the lazy and hazy. She died from hiding her real feelings until they became hard and bitter enough to invade her womb and breasts like angry tumors. She died from never being enough of what men wanted, or being too much for the men she wanted. She died from being too black and died again for not being black enough.


She died from being misinformed about her mind, her body & the extent of her royal capabilities. She died from knees pressed too close together because respect was never part of the foreplay that was being shoved at her. And sometimes when she refused to die, when she just refused to give in she was killed by the lethal images of blonde hair, blue eyes and flat butts, being rejected by the OJ.'s, the Quincy's, the Cuba's & the Kobe's.

Sometimes, she was stomped to death by racism & sexism, executed by hi-tech ignorance while she carried the family in her belly, the community on her head, and the race on her back!
The strong black woman is dead! Or is she?

I know I'm not! Pass this on to all the strong black women that you love, respect, and admire! I just did.

Kudos to whoever put this together orginally...great stuff. Have a nice one all.

Going AWOL

Just for a bit...will be back sometime hopefully before the new year.

Take care everyone and have a nice one.

Xoxo

OBAMAMANIA PROVES TRUE!

He did it in the most honorable way. Who says a black man is incapable? Welcome to the 'real new world order'. Congratulations Obama! Congratulations America! Congratulations world! And most importantly congratulations black people!

P.S.

Kudos to McCain for being gracious in concession!

The Snobbish Attitude of Most Nigerians

Now I'm not about to point fingers because I'm guilty of it to some extent but if I'm frank those were back in the day of limited knowledge. The days where I valued the 'foreign' stuff over homegrown or the expensive material things over the things that offered real value for money. Now I know better that showing class or sophistication does not have to include looking down on people or saying 'I am better than you'.

What informed this post? Well I had gone to see a friend of mine whom I only met just over a month ago. From the little I know of him, I gathered he was one of those people who had a semi priviledged background. He grew up in the Ikoyi/VI area of Lagos, went to Kings College and had a car even before he went to university. Someone whose parents were so liberal to the point that they would drink together and even allowed him to host wild parties in fully air-conditioned room with cigarette smoke dancing around the room.  Till today he still carries on with that sort of life and his conversations mostly surround video games, girls and parties. 

Let me give in a little background to this. In London most Nigerians live in the South East like Peckham, Thamesmead etc and in the East like Barking which are mostly area for working class people and immigrants. Most of the Nigerian clubs are also concentrated in the SE and East of London so you find a lot of Nigerians within these neighbourhood have a lot in common. Sometimes people in their bid to appear 'different' will go to the 'city' to party and mingle because this is where you mostly find white middle class people. If you go to city clubs you will feel like you really are in London because the crowd and music is different. When some Nigerians go to places like that to party they come back to boast to their peers about how they partied with 'cream girls' and city boys.

Such was the scene at my friends place on Saturday. He and his friend went on about how they went to a club in the city called Ink and the crowd was so much better that they have decided not attend 'gongo aso' clubs anymore. Gongo aso meaning clubs with heavy Nigerian presence and Nigerian music. They ranted on about how they do not feel like they are in London and cant even speak 'phone' like a real london guy anymore because they keep mixing with all these people who were fortunate enough to get a visa to London but cant speak good English. It was blatant that they brought that classism from Lagos where peeps from Ikoyi believe that they are better than those who live in Oshodi. They washed down London girls saying they are loud and money grabbing but one of them is married to a Nigerian woman. They gave examples of their friends who would not even speak to a Nigerian person because they do not want their 'razzness' to rub off on them and berated Nigerians for speaking their language too often.

I looked on in horror as these two people exhibited a lack of respect for anything Nigerian. I was so gob-smacked that I didn't even know what to say to them but in my mind I was thinking how pathetic they were. I admit that some Nigerian people put their fellow Nigerians to shame with their unpolished attitude especially in public transport. Some of them shout at the top of their voice when speaking to each other or on the telephone. In fact just last Tursday I listened on as one Yoruba dude gave a vivid description of how he slept with his girlfriend that he hadn't seen for a while and how thick his sperm was blabla and I thought this is gross. However I don't think this problem is isolated to the Nigerian community only. I see a lot of East Europeans who get on the bus and chatter on in their language and some British folks who just go on and on.

However what my two friends are forgetting is that the white man's way of life is not better than ours. While they clearly do some things better than us, it does not mean our culture and way of life pales in comparison to theirs. It is good to enjoy and appreciate a little bit of everything as this leads to a healthy balance in life. I believe what people should aim for is to be able to hold their own in any situation. If you want to party in 'chinawhite' with footballers and reality TV stars, well do so and not put down 'carbon' where Naeto c may just show up if he's in town. If you wish to wear a Georgio Armani suit, do so and not put down my 'ankara'. If you wish to speak in your British accent, please do so and not put down my own accent because frankly I ain't Bri'ish.  There are more to people than meet the eye and no one human being is above the other even if our social status may suggest so. We are all going to die and be buried and our soul will leave our bodies. People should learn to feed their soul and their minds and not just their bodies. Karl Marx was known for capitalism, Newton for gravity, Freud for psychoanalysis and Mother Teresa for her humanitarian work, what will you be known for when you finally depart this earth?

Mother Daughter Talk

This is my first proper post in over a month I guess and there's so much to talk about but I'll try to keep it concise.

First shall I tackle the curiousity about Enigma, he may not appreciate this but it has to be done. Some people are asking how I knew it was him and what I mean by he's tight. Enigma and I have a mutual friend who had told me before that he had another friend who was also a blogger. So it was our mutual friend's bday bash this weekend and Enigma and I got introduced and the rest is history. When I say he's tight I mean his pseudonym is befitting of him. He may not have the conventional Will Smith look but he does have a presence you cant ignore and he carries himself immaculately. So to me that is tight...I hope I've laid all that curiousity to rest. And Enigma no vex for putting you out there like this.

Back to today's post....

Mum: Temidayo you know you're five years old and no longer a baby
Temi: Oh no mum, what have I done again?
Mum: You haven't done anything my dear. I just need to speak to you about something very important.
Temi: As long as its not about me not tying my shoe lace properly
Mum: You naughty girl...ehm how do I even start.
Temi: From the middle
Mum: (sighs)...ehm I want to talk to you about men and women
Temi: What about them?
Mum: You see there will come a time when you will have your own little Temi
Temi: (Tantrums) but mum I'm just a baby
Mum: (Looking worried)...I know my dear. I'm just trying to prepare your mind
Temi: My mind for what...?
Mum: Okay maybe this is not a good time, I'll talk to you later
Temi: (Now upset) but mum I wanna know now.
Phone rings, mum picks call...life saver...end of story.

How do you broach the topic of sex with a 5year old? They are proposing sex education in Britain's secondary schools and perhaps to primary school pupils as well who could be as young as 5. There's been debates whether it is safe or not to start with kids that young. How do you even begin to teach sex, love and relationship to someone as young as that. Admittedly I liked a boy as the tender age of 7 but it was just 'like' and he was much older so all I wanted him to do was read to me and take me for walks. Sex never crossed my mind and I remember vividly being highly embarrassed when we were watching soaps that depicted couples kissing. Even at that age I knew it was not something meant for a girl my age.

While I feel sex education is great I believe introducing it to children as young as 5 is too early. By God they have not even reached puberty yet so why not wait until then to explain the changes in their bodies and relate that to sex, marriage and love? That's my opinion but what do you guys think? Should children be taught sex, love and relationship education from the age of 5?

Enjoy your week.

Hi Everyone

Just to say many thanks to all that have been checking up on me. I am doing great just a little busy with the things of life I guess. 

So keep your mind at rest dearest bloggers and know that Parakeet is fine wherever she is. Have a blessed week everyone.

P.S.

Guess who I met on one of my night crawling??? Enigma and he's tight!