Monday, 17 March 2008

What Do I Call This?

Why do white people ask weird questions. Okay this is what I do for a living. I work for an independent accreditation company here in London as a consultant. Like am fond of saying, consultant is an elaborate name to describe someone whose major repsonsibilty is compliance. So if you ever want to tender for a contract with any of the Local Authorities we look after, you come to me, I'll tell you what you need and make sure you have then at the time of application and move you on for vetting and my job is done.

While carrying out my duties I tend to speak to a lot of business owners. Dealing with them just made me realise how unwilling people are when it comes to parting with their money even if its going to bring them more business. They whinge and whinge about how they have to pay for something they've never paid before and the most irritating companies are ones who are in line to clinch a £10,000000 contract yet they don’t want to pay me a meagre £550 to make sure they are fully eligible to get it. The worst part of my day is when a company has failed health and safety checks. Chineke!

Anyway back to the weird question bit. I spoke to this guy today who wanted me to list him on the database of some Local Authorities. After I had dealt with his query then the questions started.

Businessman: So what does Ollay mean
Ollay: wealth
Businessman: Sorry?
Ollay: wealth you idiot (but the idiot bit was more of an aside)
Businessman: Oh nice, do you have a gap in your tooth as well?
Ollay: (Gobsmacked! what has a tooth gap got to do with wealth, unless am missing something here but I smiled) No
Businessman: Do you know Ollay means hello in Spanish
Ollay: So I've been told
Businessman: So basically you're Hello (and he mentioned my surname)
I laughed but didn’t find it funny. Just when I thought the worst was over
Businessman: How tall are you?
Ollay: Why do you ask?
Businessman: Just curious
Ollay: Okay 5"7
Businessman: (thinks) hmm... you're not that tall
Ollay: (Jesus! Like I need to be told. I need to get rid of him sharpish) Mr Businessman is there anything else you'd like me to help with (all business like)
Businessman: (Chuckled) No but just one more thing, do you have big eyes?

Now that was the last straw…I totally freaked out at this point and said "am sorry am unable to answer that question as I cant see its relevance to your business". Then he dropped the bombshell
Businessman: Am sorry that you feel uncomfortable but you see am blind and I just wanted to picture what you look like.

Now am perplexed as I didn’t know what to think. Should I believe him or not? But he did make me feel guilty cos I was kinda harsh on him. The problem though is how can the CEO of a door entry company be blind? How does he carry out his work? Does anyone regularly have to deal with weird questions like I seem to do everyday?

26 comments:

Sting said...

I wonder if he was blind for real. Wasn't he right in front of u? That was a weird conversation.

Afrobabe said...

Lmao...something in ur voice must have given ur D cups away....be nice to the man, u may be the next Heather Mills!!!

Ollay said...

@Sting...no he was not in front of me...I was on the phone with him
@Afrobabe...no mind the baba...he probably has a coffee stained teeth...ayama.

anonymous gal said...

i wonder why im laffin.gosh wat if he is really blind? abeg if u ever find out let me know

Sasuke said...

men i honestly do not wish to be in your shoes cos you might have to deal with a gut wrenching feeling when you do get to find out the dude is blind for real. but i guess you did what you had to do cos if the guy is fair he should know he was already tripping on some nerves.

first time here

tankojjetty said...

i appreciate how you felt then...
but how was he supposed to know he shouldnt hit on you ...
what if he was the one for u...
i think ladies should take it easy on us guys...
well until u get a "dont hit on me" shirt...

Ollay said...

@anonymous gal...you know I dont think the guy he's blind. I sent him an email today and he replied? Can blind people use computers? I guess there's technology these days sha!
@Sasuke...thanks for stopping by. You right he made me feel bad but not for long...I dont trust these white men
@tankojjetty...I know what you mean but you men dont understand timing sometimes. I've had a few people invite me out for a drink over the phone (which I declined obviously) but they didnt freak me out before getting their intentions out...

Uzezi said...

omg! I would have felt so guilty. he is definitely blind, cause y will he ask those questions if he was seeing you. Ollay-Hello! lol

ablackjamesbond said...

lmao...urs is a difficult job.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

lol@ Afrobabe! It doesn't matter if he is blind, his statements are quite unprofessional. Take care!


NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...

AnyaPosh said...

That was really weird. How does a normal person respond to that?? I would have cut him off at the "gap in my teeth" question/remark. Damn...maybe we're just too harsh with people these days. Maybe we can just take a break & relax for once without thinking someone is trying to mess with us.

Sparkle said...

LOL>..I have to say, u're very patient...Lord knows I can't stand conversations like dat

Jaybabe said...

Oh my Gee! From what i know about myself i dont think i wud have looked at him one more time, or waited to hear any other word! Girl you have the patience oooo!

Followed this link from Afrobabe. Nice one!

Bookie19 said...

LOL..ok its not funny but its funny..i definitely did not see this coming..even if he was blind, whqt does your looks have to do with the business?

Aijay said...

LMAO!!
I can so relate to this.
I had to deal with all kinds of human beings at my last job. Sometimes I'd call in sick just to avoid some looney clients. It wasn't funny.

Lol @ Afrobabe's comment. Ollay, u better be nice to the man.

OluwaDee said...

He may b blind, but his questions were irrelevant jor.

Olamild said...

ahwwwwww u've got to be kidding me

Honeywell said...

ROTFLMAO!
OK, i felt bad when i had insulted him in my mind, only to find out that he was blind.... but when i saw the "how can the CEO of a door entry company be blind?" the irony of it hit me and i started laughing in the lib..... i don't know if i believe him or not, to be honest... some dudes can be desperate like that....

Obinwanne said...

stupid questions........

doll said...

wierd...

Oracle said...

"do you have big eyes?" Now thatz a business question. lol

How did he walk into your Office?

When you work in an office, i think you'll be ready to take whatever anybody has to give.

guerreiranigeriana said...

omiGod!!!...dying laughing here...i'm coming o!...let me finish laughing...kai...

Ollay said...

Guys...am glad y'all feel me...I was beginning to think i was too hard on the poor man...

Oh one more thing, its so nice to meet such lovely people as you guys...Didnt know Afrobabe had such fantastic friends. Thanks.

Pink-satin said...

lmao

Naapali said...

The man was lying.

The Last King Of Scotland said...

stranger and curiouser