Friday, 12 March 2010

Why Doesn't Love Go Far Enough?

Okay so you know you love this person right. As in not a minute passes on your watch that you don't think of them. You're generally very happy and very contented with things. On the flip side though, you get the down times.

Like the times you get so angry you dont wanna speak to them. The times you just don't give a toss about being kind or doing and saying the right things. Why cant love intervene at these crucial times? Times where you two just speak but are actually not hearing or listening to each other, or times when every little thing the other person does just riles you, or you row about the simplest of things. Why cant love step in and save the day?

Where's love when that blinding fury comes to the fore? Did love take a flight at the exact moment those horrible words spurtered out of your mouth? Where was love hiding when all you see are faults? Why cant love help you to be patient, not to say unkind words, to understand the other person better, to suppress that brewing fury from the pit of your belly, to be more appreciative. Why cant it just be there always, present everytime and makes everything sail smoothly and guide you on the right path?

Dear love, why can't you just be damn enough!

Monday, 1 March 2010

Some Friends go past their sell by dates.

In the past 2 weeks I've had some profound experiences and they are all connected to people that I call friends. It is nothing new that different friends play different roles in our lives, while some are important, most one can live without. I have a habit of calling everyone 'friend' but it's purely for lack of something better to call them. The ones I chat to almost weekly but hardly see, the one's I've never met but exchange emails with, the ones I went to school with, ones I met randomly. They are all friends but different kind of friends. Some of them I can't even stand either for their aggressiveness, inconsistencies or whatever but I put up with them anyway. Lately however, I've asked myself, why? Some friends I actually care deeply about and wish us to be closer but I hardly make a concerted effort to make that happen, again I ask why?

One pattern I've noticed about me is that the people who come through for me at the most dire times are those distant friends. Distant in the sense that I don't know them very well, we hardly hang out or even communicate. Only lately did I have one friend that I know she's done more for me and I've trusted more than I've trusted anyone in my entire life. Generally I've just lived my life meeting different people who have had both good and bad impacts in my life and those I question why I met in the first place.

Last week I was out of town in a foreign land and one of those I'll call a distant friend was there for me. I was extremely surprised about his magnanimity and that of his wife. This is someone I hadn't even picked my phone to call in a year until the week I was due to take my flight. I only just called him to let him know I was going to be in the neck of his wood but he dropped everything to show me round and keep me company. I'm still left wondering if I could do the same for someone I don't know very well.

This week however, another friend I've had for about 7 years let me down. He simply couldn't be happy for me with regards to certain developments in my life and that hurt me real bad. But I've asked my God to surprise him and sooner rather than later he'd be sorry. Sometimes we think certain people are our friends when in actual fact they are simply jealous of us. Some even think they are better than you while others are just interested in sharing the latest gossip with you. When you really look at it you have very little in common so why bother with the so-called friendship in the first place?

Today I celebrate friends, true friends. The ones worth having, the ones who love you in-spite of your flaws, the one who plan your future with you, the ones who laugh and cry with you, the ones who share silly nothings as well as the serious stuff with you, the ones you never see but who's got your back no matter what, the ones who scold you when needed and do not shy away from the truth, the ones who you feel comfortable to bare your heart and soul to. To Afrobabe and the special man in my life.