Monday, 23 June 2008
I cant believe I'm barely 3 months in blogville and I'm already experiencing drought of words. I give it to y'all who've kept faithfully to it...seriously I doff my hat. I dont know what brought on the drought, if its my recent challenges or simply that I dont have writing as innate as I would love to believe. Whichever the reason, I've got an even better reason to put up this post, YOU ALL. Blogville is really a wonderful place to be and thanks to all those who checked up on me...I love you all.
So where do I start? Of all places to think about slavery, I chose the bathroom to do it this morning. If am not wrong, October is black history month in the UK which inadvertently includes a reference to the slave trade. So why the hell was I thinking about the slave trade in June with lather all over my body? Well it must have been the Monday morning blues as I was trying to convince myself that slavery is not over yet. Its got to be slavery if I have to wake up at 6:30 am to go and push the pennies doing what I hate and what I don't wanna do. I tried to compare the slavery 200 years ago to now. Now, one deliberately subjects oneself to slavery while 200 years ago people were forced into it.
Perhaps I got depressed that I will no longer have the pleasure to catch city boy's 'squaremile' gossip column any more as he quit for a better life. Well City boy is an investment banker. He makes shit load money and as we talk he has £3million in bank...that's just a million shy of what the company I used to work for had in bank. His slavery paid off big time. He worked graveyard hours, doing hideous tasks while having to kiss asses of clients he really hated their guts. To show his disgust, he wrote his article every week in the London paper breaking banking codes and exposing well kept secrets of city workers. We his avid readers pitied him and at the same time envied him. Well city boy packed it all in last week after he made sure his fattest bonus ever had been banked. Now I really wish I had that kind of a choice.
While I was depressingly having my shower, my life flashed in front of me and I just didnt like the fact that I was going to that job. I know y'all will be like this parakeet sef, she whinges too much but welcome to the life of a 26 year old London gurl who still lives at home. Candidly, I thought extensively about the slave trade and the monotony that has become the life of many and I just wondered what the way out was. Not content, I linked the slave trade to nuclear power and the dominance of the West in world politics and the simple question I asked was, if at the time the west invaded africa and saw how helpless our forefathers were and instead of helping them, took them for slaves, how are we to trust that if the continued to advance on the nuclear power production, there wont be a repetition of the slave trade albeit in different ways? Are we to trust that where their fore-fathers were lacking in conscience that the new generation will have in abundance. Did I hear someone say food for thought?
Well I moved on from there and got angry at our forefathers, why didnt they fight? Why did they just subject themselves to these people? Surely it is better to die once a valiant than die nine times a coward. But then I was like what do I know? As if I was there to be really sure and again I discovered that most of the things I know today of the slave trade were written by foreigner or shall I say scholars in the West. My history, written by someone else? How am I suppose to know the real truth behind the black race, of their struggles and there triumphs and it seemed to me like I have been cast into an abyss...I mean who knew that stories like that of the Great Debaters existed before Oprah and Denzel came together to tell it? I cant recollect where my trail of thoughts stopped but I marvel at my mind. Gosh, how did I manage to think of so much in the 15 minutes it takes to have my bath?
Anyways all said and done, I had a good day even though I had a slow start too the day. I have been happier these past few days as well, as I have learnt not to commit things to heart too much. I think that is what drags me down and am glad I've come out on top of it now. Meanwhile am looking for my cousin...I will introduce her in my next post.
Have a good week everyone and keep smiling.
Sunday, 8 June 2008
Of all the things that come and go it seems that love has managed to weather the storm. I am sure quite a number of people dont even have a clue what love is and how it works but they wanna love anyway. That was the long and short of the central theme of Sex and the City: The Movie.
I went to see the movie yesterday and I was laughing amidst tears. I have never seen a movie and cried so much in my entire life. I wasn't even sure of what I was crying for or why I was crying, but cry I did. I guess I was crying for love, either for the lack of it, for the longing for it, for having it and not been able to be with it or for whatever. I just knew I cried my eyes out and laughed my heart out. Those were two good mixtures.
So Carrie Bradshaw finally married her Mr Big after a decade of dating and uncountable break- ups. How many women will still marry a man that left them at the alter? Food for thought everyone. As for he sex-crazed maid of honour, people like her dont do love. They do excitements. The sight of a hard-one is enough to set her pulse racing and turn her to jelly. She had the hunk of the century and a forever humping dog and even that wasn't enough. Some people are not just caught out for this relationship/marriage thingee even with 50 staring her in the face. What will she do when she looses whatever is left of her body and grace? Dont ask me.
Anyway I got an hypothetical situation for you guys and need you to put your thinking caps on. Lets call her Sally. She met Harry and instantly fell in love and they went on to have an explosive relationship for about 6 months before she finds out that he was married to some woman stashed away somewhere in another part of the world. The explanation he gave was that their marriage was on the rocks and they decided to tentatively go their separate ways. In between family mediation and stuff they get together again to try and make it work but instead of coming out in bliss, a baby boy was what came out of it before they went their separate ways again. Sally was naturally heartbroken but she wasn't about to continue a relationship with a married man, wife around or not, marriage in turmoil or not. After about 3 months of struggling to leave him she finally did.
Within a year of leaving Harry, she went on to have 2 stormy and unsuccessful relationships of which Harry knew about because they remained friends. You see they had that special kind of bond that even a break up couldn't break. Just as she was about to give up on love she meet Mr Weirdo whom she surprisingly likes. Mr Weirdo says he likes her a lot and wants to be with her for real but problem is Mr Weirdo hardly calls since she agreed to date him. In fact Mr Weirdo hardly replies her text and all he seems interested in is to want to talk and have sex. So she's not particularly sure if Mr Weirdo is for real but she strangely likes him and would like to give him a chance.
She's only been seeing Mr Weirdo for just over a fortnight and she had made steps to severe the friendship between her and Harry because she doesn't want Harry thinking she has a problem keeping men, or that she's sleeping around or that another man has broken her heart again. She honestly feel that the reason she's been unlucky with men after Harry is because they still remained tight friends and he was still a major part of her life so she wants to give herself and Mr Weirdo a fair chance of working without interference from Harry.
The dilemma however is that Harry not aware of Mr Weirdo suddenly wants her back and has begun to work on his divorce. He's asking her to move in with him, happy to start a family and give her a ring as a symbol of his love and commitment to her but he says no marriage. Just co-habitation because he doesn't wanna go down that route twice. She still has love for Harry and does not particularly mind the co-habitation suggestion but she is just confused as to what to do? What does she do with Mr Weirdo, what will her family say, living with a man without marriage, is she really happy without having the marriage ceremony? She doesn't know what to do so she's asking blogville what is right for her to do.
Sunday, 1 June 2008
Well I really dont have anything to blog about today cos my week has not been particularly eventful. Plus I've been going through some emotional and psychological troughs these past few days and it seems like am just in Limbo.
Am sure you guys will agree with me that the most unlikely place to have a reflection is in a club full of sweaty bodies and cigarette laden breathe. Well that was where I had mine. It was my friends bday do and he decided to have it in a club so for the second weekend in a row I put on my party clothes and headed out with my friend who happens to be a rookie driver. Have you ever been driven by someone who is just learning to drive? Well lets just say for the duration of the journey my heart was in my mouth ready to jump out at anytime. But we got there in one piece...dont get me started on parking the car though.
Anyways back to my reflection, for someone who loves to dance especially to 80s hits and Nija hip hop, I wasnt just feeling the place. I kept looking at the girls and was wondering if they were all miserable like I was and the guys just seemed alien to me. I went outside for some fresh air and saw some guys blowing cigarette smoke into the air and exchanging numbers with some girls. I looked at them and felt so different. I just kept asking myself what they hell I was doing here. Gone were the days when I indulged in my favorite sport of flirting openly with guys and leaving them high and dry. I am not a drinker nor a smoker so all I do in a club is dance and flirt and that I couldn't even muster.
So I went back indoors, kissed all my friends good night and headed out of the club. Back in my bed at 3 am I started to reminisce on a lot of stuff such as what I wanted in life, what I have now and how to go about getting the rest that I wanted. One thing that popped out was that most of the major decisions I've made in my life revolved around whoever my husband was gonna be. Is that how other girls make their decisions or am I just the only stupid girl alive? So I made a decision right there and then to make decisions solely for me and not to accommodate some imaginary husband I dont have yet. Its funny how little changes in thinking makes a lot of difference cos I felt instantly relieved. So armed with my new found weapon, I am setting upon the world to conquer it. Starting from this september!
Have a good week guys.
I changed my display name from Ollay to Parakeet. Cheers!