Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Is She Dead?

Hello everyone, hope you've been keeping well. Many thanks for all the messages left for me. Very much appreciated. I am not back yet but someone emailed something to me at work today and I feel I have to share it. I will be back soon...promise.

While struggling with the reality of being a human instead of a myth, the strong black woman passed away. Medical sources say she died of natural causes, but those who knew her know she died from being silent when she should have been screaming, smiling when she should have been raging, from being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them. She died from an overdose of other people clinging to her when she didn't even have energy for herself.

She died from loving men who didn't love themselves and could only offer her a crippled reflection. She died from raising children alone. She died from the lies her grandmother told her mother and her mother told her about life, men & racism. She died from being sexually abused as a child and having to take that truth everywhere she went every day of her life, exchanging the humiliation for guilt and back again.

She died from asphyxiation, from secrets she kept trying to burn away instead of allowing herself the kind of nervous breakdown she was entitled to, but only white girls could afford. She died from being responsible, because she was the last rung on the ladder and there was no one under her she could dump on. The strong black woman is dead.

She died from being dragged down and sat upon by un-evolved women posing as sisters and friends. She died from tolerating Mr. Pitiful, just to have a man around the house. She died from sacrificing herself for everybody and everything when what she really wanted to do was be a singer, a dancer, or some magnificent other. She died from lies of omission because she didn't want to bring the black man down.

She died from myths that would not allow her to show weakness without being chastised by the lazy and hazy. She died from hiding her real feelings until they became hard and bitter enough to invade her womb and breasts like angry tumors. She died from never being enough of what men wanted, or being too much for the men she wanted. She died from being too black and died again for not being black enough.

She died from being misinformed about her mind, her body & the extent of her royal capabilities. She died from knees pressed too close together because respect was never part of the foreplay that was being shoved at her. And sometimes when she refused to die, when she just refused to give in she was killed by the lethal images of blonde hair, blue eyes and flat butts, being rejected by the OJ.'s, the Quincy's, the Cuba's & the Kobe's.

Sometimes, she was stomped to death by racism & sexism, executed by hi-tech ignorance while she carried the family in her belly, the community on her head, and the race on her back!
The strong black woman is dead! Or is she?

I know I'm not! Pass this on to all the strong black women that you love, respect, and admire! I just did.
Kudos to whoever put this together orginally...great stuff. Have a nice one all.


THIRTY + said...

Deep, thanks for sharing.

Rita said...

Glad you shared this. It has left me with something to really think about.

How are you doing while AWOL?

ShonaVixen said...

I didnt make it for first place??
Nway lemme go and read...i'll be back!!

ShonaVixen said...

Great post!! And yup I say this Strong Black Female is alive and kicking!!!
Hope you're good hon!!Take care xoxo

Funms-the rebirth said...

wow, thought provoking. The strong black woman in me is not dead! And will not die!

Afrobabe said...

Love the pic where they are lying down together....naked...

Afrobabe said...

oya...come and update soonest....

Jarrai said...

Very deep indeed!!

MissLove said...

I am very much alive!

Buttercup said...

oh wow..that was really moving..


Parakeet said...

@30+...I just had to share it you know. How bodi?
@Rita...I'm glad you found it worth sharing. I am great. Just battling with decision making.
@Shona...you weren't first my dear but you try. I am glad all the women here affirms that the strong black woman is still alive but really must we continually be strong for all the wrong reasons? We need to think about this and make the right stand.
@Funms...amen to that sister.
@Afrobabe...trust you. A leopard never lose its spots. I dey come update soon.
@Miss Love...amen to that proclamation
@Buttercup...I'll be back before you know it darling. How you dey?

aloted said...


thanks for sharing.

hope u good?

AnyaPosh said...

She's not dead. She is risen!!!

Buttercup said...

Ok o..im good, thanx!

LG said...

real tot provoking'
thanx for sharing dear'

*compliments of d season'

Standtall said...

Coulda put this up today being the International (women's) Human Rights Day. To reflect all the suffering of women from the society that continually refuse to respect the rights of WOMEN

Thanks for making me read this once again

doll said...

nope...still alive...

ibiluv said...


she aiint dead.......

........dry bones shall rise again.......*wink*

Olamild said...

Oh my!

**snaps her fingers**


AlooFar said...

So dark, it reads like poetry.

Naija Idol said...

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really deep. thanx for sharing anyways.

and no.. she aint dead.

OluwaDee said...


Take care of you.

NaijaBabe said...


as in wooooow

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

really love this piece
always speaks to me every time i read it.
Glad to have you back, even if only for a flirting moment

Parrot said...

craz and apt..big up gal

ablackjamesbond said...

Afrobabe...honestly, I have given up on you.

Compliments of the season Parakeet!

LG said...

Hellooooooooooo' anybodi home?????
i ve got sum hampers 4 u :)
*merry christmas dear

Anonymous said...

Though she might have been dead, she is arisen yet again. Only this time in the form of the yuppy (young upwardly professionals) ladies.

Parakeet said...

@Aloted...thanks am great.
@Anyaposh...oh yes she is.
@Buttercup...good to know
@LG...thanks. Compliments me dear.
@Standtall...am glad u found it enriching
@Doll...yes she aint dead
@Ibiluv...and she knows her bible. Me like that
@Olamild...wow long time. How u dey?
@Aloofar...dark??? Interesting
@Naija Idol...glad u find it deep
@Oluwadee...thanks, hope u good?
@Naijababe...u really were wowed
@MDM...am glad u enjoy it
@Dudu007...nice to see you around. Compliments of the season
@LG...am home darling. Wey my hampers?
@Rethots...did you coin that phrase? Apt.