Friday, 24 September 2010

When Turn Ons Become Turn Offs

One of the phrases men like to use in describing us women is that we dont know what we want. I often like to say that contrary to that, our problem is that we know what we want a little bit too much but we know it's hard to find so we often settle for a close second while never really stopping the search for that exact thing we want. We do this by either trying to refine our close second choice into the real mccoy or look outside of that. Either way we press on until we either get tired or fate just happens.

For instance, one of the things a woman will assess before considering dating a man is, does he have a good job? Some may even go further by preferring to date men of certain professions only. May be someone that works in oil and gas for example. So a girl finally meets her dream man who has that oil and gas job, except he works on the rigs and have long spell away in some remote place. Then the wahala starts. That exact thing that attracted you to him becomes the cause of your aggravation. Suddenly, he works too much, he doesn't have time for you, you dont get to see him enough blablabla. I'm sure we're all familiar with this. Does anyone have any similar experiences of late?

In my own case, it was my very confident ex. I like a man who is confident and sure of himself. It sends me weak in the knees. It's not often that a guy sees an attractive girl and just simply says you're attractive but that was exactly what he did. No bullshiting like 'you look familiar'. He walked straight up to me in a crowded supermarket and said the 3 magic words, 'you are beautiful'. That was enough to melt me and the next thing we were having dinner. Now he's a plain looking guy but his confidence was enough to win my heart. We went on date but then I started to worry. If he found it that easy to get my attention, do I know the countless other women he can get that same way? Plus he actually has a very good sense of humour another attribute women like their potential partners to have. So all those turn ons for me at the beginning gradually started becoming my nightmare and it took me a while before I got over my paranoia.

I have seen these exact same things destroy some relationships and even marriages. So why are we women like this? Things like this only seem to give credence to men's notion that we don't know what we want but are we just victims of our own emotions? Like we just cant help ourselves how we feel and wanting certain things the way we just want them. Anyway that's the conumdrum I'll be trying to solve this weekend as I try to work through some domestic issues with my partner.

Have a good one guys.

8 comments:

doll said...

new template? i like

Well, i can relate...i was attracted to my ex because he was intelligent, focused and hard working...i dint bargain for the fact that i would get to see him once in 2 months because he was "hardworking" though...

But i believe that a girl shouldn't settle..cuz now iv got me an intelligent, hardworking man that would still move the heavens to see me after a hard days work

Myne Whitman said...

I was almost thinking I was on another blog, lol. Hmmm, what can I say, it happens. But I still believe that hardworking and attentive are not mutually exclusive.

musco said...

all the very best this weekend then ....

Rita said...

would I say it is only women that go through this? Maybe not.

Turn ons often become turn offs when one is looking for in another person what they think they dont have. For instance, a guy who's often disorganised looks for a babe who is very organised and 6 months into the relationship he is worried that the lady want to organize every area of his life (which is now becoming irritating)

Ok let me not digress too much...despite all I have said, it is still wise for we women to understand what we really want and try not to refine nor settle for less...

Tigeress said...

sweetie, u just gotso to lay off the paranoia. He too cld be thinking u get alot of guys who tell u- u r pretty and u date all of them...... Personally i'm a big fan of "what i dont know wont hurt"

Daring said...

"...never really stopping the search..."

That says it all. That's why women change their 'checklist' more than their wardrobe.

Men's list (if any) are usually short and always within reach. That's the difference.

AlooFar said...

This woman, I'm not happy with you o!!!

Nice post, though.

AlooFar said...

WHERE ARE YOU?!!!

You know I don't fight clean. ;)