Sunday, 1 June 2008

Changes


Well I really dont have anything to blog about today cos my week has not been particularly eventful. Plus I've been going through some emotional and psychological troughs these past few days and it seems like am just in Limbo.

Am sure you guys will agree with me that the most unlikely place to have a reflection is in a club full of sweaty bodies and cigarette laden breathe. Well that was where I had mine. It was my friends bday do and he decided to have it in a club so for the second weekend in a row I put on my party clothes and headed out with my friend who happens to be a rookie driver. Have you ever been driven by someone who is just learning to drive? Well lets just say for the duration of the journey my heart was in my mouth ready to jump out at anytime. But we got there in one piece...dont get me started on parking the car though.

Anyways back to my reflection, for someone who loves to dance especially to 80s hits and Nija hip hop, I wasnt just feeling the place. I kept looking at the girls and was wondering if they were all miserable like I was and the guys just seemed alien to me. I went outside for some fresh air and saw some  guys blowing cigarette smoke into the air and exchanging numbers with some girls. I looked at them and felt so different. I just kept asking myself what they hell I was doing here. Gone were the days when I indulged in my favorite sport of flirting openly with guys and leaving them high and dry. I am not a drinker nor a smoker so all I do in a club is dance and flirt and that I couldn't even muster.

So I went back indoors, kissed all my friends good night and headed out of the club. Back in my bed at 3 am I started to reminisce on a lot of stuff such as what I wanted in life, what I have now and how to go about getting the rest that I wanted. One thing that popped out was that most of the major decisions I've made in my life revolved around whoever my husband was gonna be. Is that how other girls make their decisions or am I just the only stupid girl alive? So I made a decision right there and then to make decisions solely for me and not to accommodate some imaginary husband I dont have yet. Its funny how little changes in thinking makes a lot of difference cos I felt instantly relieved. So armed with my new found weapon, I am setting upon the world to conquer it. Starting from this september!

Have a good week guys.

P.S.
I changed my display name from Ollay to Parakeet. Cheers!

37 comments:

Nogo said...

First!!! Hehe my first time! Let me submit this before someone takes my first first away xoxo hehe

Nogo said...

I feel you on the party thing. I used to get real excited bout parties in the UK but soon came to realise they were all about drinking... And I don't drink. It's awfully lonely being the only sober one at a party... Lol xoxo PS nuthing much is happening oohh... Going to America on Wednesday though :D

Shaywun said...

First! hehehe

Girl I don't think u're the only one who thinks of what they want to do based on who they end up with. I think about it all the time. There are a lot of things I'd loved to get accomplished in the future but I can't help but think about my future partner also, not out of helplessness but more like will he support me enough or will he be educated or understanding enough or will he laugh at me... stuff like that sha. I don't think there's anything wrong with it infact I try to encourage it in myself not to be validated by whoever I get married to but to put some things into perspective too (that sounds weird but hey, it works for me). Have a great weekand take it easy!

P.S: So with the name change, does that mean I'll have to change it on my page too abi I can still leave it as is?

Parakeet said...

@Nogo...hmm, I know. Sometimes it sucks not to be a drinker. Na you dey enjoy o... Going to Yankee. Have a safe trip darling.
@Shaywun...you see that's the problem with being African. We are internalised with making men the center of our universe from infancy. You may need to change the name from Ollay to Parakeet but the URL stays the same. Have a good week love.

Afrobabe said...

hey why did u change ur name???

welcome to my world about the club thingy...

My reflection started at the club on a nite I found myself falling asleep at 12am in the middle of techno music in a club...lmao...

I realised I was old and needed to chill...

As for making plans that revolve around a man......We all pretend not to but at the end of the day...even getting kids depend on him so it kind of makes sense...

LG said...

wise decision dearie, but ofcourse u know' anything dat makes u happy, makes me happy, abi? *winks*

take kia!!!

Smaragd said...

will be back to comment properly.

Aijay said...

*Sulking* I loved "Ollay".

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

oops never mind..got the email

uNWrItten* said...

girl o girl...i understand how u feel..sometimes after all the music fades away and the smoke clears..we dont know who we really are..im glad uve come to a realisation..:)
thanks for stopping by my blog!

chichi said...

really deep, got me thinking. there comes a time when we need to reacces our piorities in life... is neccessary to move forward and to enjoy this thing called life.

be strong, God got ur back!!! as always.

OluwaDee said...

Hey dear!

Don't think u r stupid oh, its something I did. Make your decisions and be happy with them, set a straight path 4 ur feet n walk in it.

Pls try n get off the depressed state, I know its easier said than done, but u can do all things thru christ.

be filled with joy.

NikkiSab said...

Wow!!!! Wat can I say. I do tins for me and tins dat make me happy cos i realised dat no mata wat i do, i cant please everyone/d world. Dats not to say i dont consider oda pples feeling n also d consequences of my actions. Now dat i am engaged, its alittle different. I consider him 45%, oda pple 5% and my feelings 50% (No joke). This is my way and approach to MY LIFE. Now wat u av to do is sit n do wat u feel U wanna do wit ur life. U r not stupid!!! we all go thru a phase, grow past a phase and build new phases to our lives. Welcome to ur new phase n new ideas..(hugs)

p.s - i dont agree wit ur reply to Shawyn about being african n makin men d centre. My mom always told me 'If luv is blind, u beta make sure ur luv has eyes'

Sha said...

well all dat matters is being HAPPY i guess.
Have a nice wk

AlooFar said...

You want to tell us about your experience in the troughs?

Take it easy O.

Dammy said...

If you two are truly in love, you would have to weave your world around him when the time comes. So, get the most of your dreams actualised now and don't be too assumming or expectant! Just keep an open mind.

Not forgetting, It is always good to be proactive...so keep breaking new grounds in your thoughts but don't get depressed!

Afronuts said...

I know why u felt so different at the club. You've grown; you've changed.

you're more matured and have a desire to get something meaningful out of life.

It happens to a lot of us...though sadly some people are cursed never to grow but die unweaned.

How have u been hon? Sorry i was AWOL for a while.

Jaycee said...

Wow...I believe reflections are always the beginning of wonderful changes. Cheers to a new beginning. I'm excited for you.

It's funny how our eyes get opened by the most unusual things, right?

30+ said...

Lol @ Nogo submitting 1st place. September what, the change has begun already ollay to parakeet.

All the best in the changes

Sting said...

I think u should base ur decision based on urself. When u get married, u can start to consider him if u need to. For now just do u!

Hope u are feeling better?

Doja said...

What happened to Ollay? I loved Ollay!

Sasuke said...

Good thinking deary and sorry about the drab night out.its nice you have decided to focus more on you now.i bet you would start feeling liberated.

how are you doing?

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

reminds me of someone who who found jesus in te club or rather saw jesus.i think she got into an accident after she left the party...strange things happen in the club

bumight said...

as i was reading this i was thinking:
is ollay not the parakeet

until i got to the part where u said u changed it!

lol @ Is that how other girls make their decisions or am I just the only stupid girl alive?

dont worry, its not only you, but it sucks that few guys do that, but I'll say, don't let anybody stop/hinder u from achieving ur dreams, let alone an immaginary husband!...u can make accomodations though

QMoney said...

I thought i was weird and could never tell anyone i mostly wanna sleep soo bad everytime i go clubbing,i always imagined i would have felt better sleeping off watchin series or something.LOL
Hmm,i kinda feel you on the decision making thingy oh,i desparately want a new car at the moment but my beau also wants a new car so without even telling him,am waiting for him to change his 1st so i wont "outshine" him but i dunno jare,its jus crazy!!am jus managing oh,am not happy about it and i cant exactly hurry him up cos he doesnt know,i jus keep talkin about my new car,there are so many other things i plan around him too and i cant honestly tell you i think its right or wrong,am just going with the flow at the moment!!

musco said...

at d beginning of ur post, u said u didn't ve much to say but i'm sure there's more than enough to say from ur heart.

we all get to that stage of realisation sooner or later.ur heart really needs to be strong now!

nneoma said...

asi kwa m...i was wondering...i opened your blog and i saw parakeet...i was like where's ollay...but as they say change is good

pyoo wata
the nollywood critique

LG said...

babes, do u luv gray hairs? come tell me abt it *wink* *wink*

Smaragd said...

it's all been said Oll... sorry, Parakeet. there's nothing left to be said .

good luck on the path of change!

Charizard said...

hmmmn...this is one deep post oh...seems like ollay is adding lots more age and wisdom to the one she already has...I am deeply impressed

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Do you know I came to this blog, and read the whole post, thinking this new blogger writes familiar..until I looked and saw it was you Ollay!LOL
Im really loving your decision jare. Live in the moment.Love for you!

Parakeet said...

@afrobabe…Nothing jare…just part of the changes, lol. Youo right, this is not about being old or not, but clubbing is just so overrated. As per plans re men, afro call me crazy but am at a point now where my plans involves no one but me…
@Lg…thanks love, I know you got my back.
@Smaragd…kk
@Aijay…stop sulking, you're a grown ass…:)
@Zephi…coolio, you haven't update though.
@Unwritten…I know, I think clubs have a way of making you feel surreal.
@Chichi…thanks for the kind words.
@Oluwadee…thanks dearie, it just that I spent the most path of my life making decisions that couldn't be taken out of my hands in minutes. No more…I run to Christ!
@Nikkisab…I love your style gurl…am taking a similar path now. As per my comment to Shaywun, your mum rocks. I grew up mostly with my grandparents…am sure that tells you something about where all this is coming from.
@Sha…happiness o, yes o…you too love.
@Aloofar…you don’t wanna hear it my dear, even I cant articulate it
@Dammy…such wisdom, been to your blog. Very creative. Thanks for commenting. As per love, well, well…I don’t know.
@Afronuts…I thot you abandoned me. Nice to know all is dandy with ya. I guess maturity is all it boils down to. You right
@Jaycee…Thanks darling, I cant wait to uncover the good things that lie ahead.
@30+…thanks but september is when it shall be revealed to all
@Sting…Hmm, wise words. I hope there will be a need to consider my husband in marriage. I feel great with all the love I got here.
@Doja…what's with you guys and your obsession with Ollay? Lol…anyways I feel flattered but Ollay and Parakeet remain the same, we both like to talk…lol
@Sasuke…I been think say you don waka cos you have update for a while. Nice to see you around again. I feel liberated indeed.
@Zephi…Naw, are you sure that's true?
@Bumight…na me one o. Am glad to know am not the only one in the world.
@Qmoney…welcome to my world. I often have to have a nap before a night out but the irony is if I was at home, I may not even sleep until 4am. Strange. I feel your pain o. Sometimes we try not to outshine our partners and that can be real hardwork.
@Musco…thanks lovey. There's something about you…
@Nneoma…thanks for welcoming my change.
@Lg…stop making me laugh jo…but having said that I saw a strand the other day…shege!
@Smaragd…Thanks darling. I knew I could always count on the support of blogville
@Charizard…adding ke? Am just trying to, na God. Thanks love.
@NDQ…Thanks sis, Ollay and Parakeet are one.

Buttercup said...

change is sometimes scary..im the type that wants things to just remain as they r..but u seem like u've welcomed the change..just be happy..have a great weekend!

tobenna said...

Yeah!
Way to go.
September is far though. It coulda been sooner.
Make sure you DO NOT change your mind!

Standtall said...

Mi-lady, do relax tori olohun. You are the best and this mood will pass and you will feel great.

You can daydream abt who u want to end up with ke. It's allowed (lol)

Andy said...

Whazzup? Having some kind of mid-life crisis?
How do you feel now? Much better I hope?

guerreiranigeriana said...

...interesting epiphany and what inspired it...and as others have said, i think most women on some level factor in their imaginary husbands;)...parakeet huh?...