Sunday, 8 June 2008

Love is Still in Vogue

Of all the things that come and go it seems that love has managed to weather the storm. I am sure quite a number of people dont even have a clue what love is and how it works but they wanna love anyway. That was the long and short of the central theme of Sex and the City: The Movie. 

I went to see the movie yesterday and I was laughing amidst tears. I have never seen a movie and cried so much in my entire life. I wasn't even sure of what I was crying for or why I was crying, but cry I did.  I guess I was crying for love, either for the lack of it, for the longing for it, for having it and not been able to be with it or for whatever. I just knew I cried my eyes out and laughed my heart out. Those were two good mixtures.

So Carrie Bradshaw finally married her Mr Big after a decade of dating and uncountable break- ups. How many women will still marry a man that left them at the alter? Food for thought everyone. As for he sex-crazed maid of honour, people like her dont do love. They do excitements. The sight of a hard-one is enough to set her pulse racing and turn her to jelly. She had the hunk of the century and a forever humping dog and even that wasn't enough. Some people are not just caught out for this relationship/marriage thingee even with 50 staring her in the face. What will she do when she looses whatever is left of her body and grace? Dont ask me.

Anyway I got an hypothetical situation for you guys and need you to put your thinking caps on. Lets call her Sally. She met Harry and instantly fell in love and they went on to have an explosive relationship for about 6 months before she finds out that he was married to some woman stashed away somewhere in another part of the world. The explanation he gave was that their marriage was on the rocks and they decided to tentatively go their separate ways. In between family mediation and stuff they get together again to try and make it work but instead of coming out in bliss, a baby boy was what came out of it before they went their separate ways again. Sally was naturally heartbroken but she wasn't about to continue a relationship with a married man, wife around or not, marriage in turmoil or not. After about 3 months of struggling to leave him she finally did. 

Within a year of leaving Harry, she went on to have 2 stormy and unsuccessful relationships of which Harry knew about because they remained friends. You see they had that special kind of bond that even a break up couldn't break. Just as she was about to give up on love she meet Mr Weirdo whom she surprisingly likes. Mr Weirdo says he likes her a lot and wants to be with her for real but problem is Mr Weirdo hardly calls since she agreed to date him. In fact Mr Weirdo hardly replies her text and all he seems interested in is to want to talk and have sex. So she's not particularly sure if Mr Weirdo is for real but she strangely likes him and would like to give him a chance.

She's only been seeing Mr Weirdo for just over a fortnight and she had made steps to severe the friendship between her and Harry because she doesn't want Harry thinking she has a problem keeping men, or that she's sleeping around or that another man has broken her heart again. She honestly feel that the reason she's been unlucky with men after Harry is because they still remained tight friends and he was still a major part of her life so she wants to give herself and Mr Weirdo a fair chance of working without interference from Harry. 

The dilemma however is that Harry not aware of Mr Weirdo suddenly wants her back and has begun to work on his divorce. He's asking her to move in with him, happy to start a family and give her a ring as a symbol of his love and commitment to her but he says no marriage. Just co-habitation because he doesn't wanna go down that route twice. She still has love for Harry and does not particularly mind the co-habitation suggestion but she is just confused as to what to do? What does she do with Mr Weirdo, what will her family say, living with a man without marriage, is she really happy without having the marriage ceremony? She doesn't know what to do so she's asking blogville what is right for her to do.

40 comments:

Pink-satin said...

u cried for sex n the city

bumight said...

well, Harry is married, and even though he wants her, too bad.

Mr Wierdo is not that into her, so she should keep searching.

30+ said...

Why would she even be considering Mr Weirdo in the first place, is it not obvious that he is mainly after her body.

Sting said...

This is a difficult one. Mr. Weirdo is definitely weird. If u ask me, he's just looking for ass. Harry is not that much better either cos he's a cheater. Life is too short though, so she should give harry a chance if she wants, if not she should keep it moving and start afresh. Easier said than done abi?

soupasexy said...

i cried for sex and the city tooo...my friend was laughing her ass off at me.
wow. this is kinda tough o *scratchs head*
i'll say they are both wrong for her, so she shd move on. no use being co habita(wateva) with Harry just move on...love will find her just as it'll find me..lol

Charizard said...

neither of them is a better choice because her postion is like being between death adn the deep blue sea...

anonymous gal said...

well i wont say anythin bout ur crying in sex and the city. afterall i cry in movies.

LG said...

hmmm!!*scratches head*
me na jus sidon look i dey o!!!!

babes ba wo ni?

Jarrai said...

Sex and the city was so goooood!!!. I loved it. It was so sad when poor carrie got stood up on her wedding ....had tears in my eyes

Samantha was great...just love her and her randy pooch...lol

Hmm..Mr Weirdo is a no no...the guy is not not ready or interested for that matter.

Harry...hmmm, i think he should go too because he is putting in clauses in the relationship even before it begins from his past experiences...can sally really live with those clauses.

I think Sally needs a fresh start...both guys do not cut it at all.

OluwaDee said...

i have to watch this sex and the city movie o.

Girl how u dey? I sld call u o.

Pls Harry is married o, and Mr wierdo wants sex, and more sex, so both of them are a no go area.

I say she should rid herself of both men, and evaluate herself and past r'ships to know where she went wrong.

Then she should ope herself to a new r'ship.

She should also pray bout the whole thing every step of the way.

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

so your one of those people that were crying.lol

i never really watched the sex and city show on tv but I loved the movie..so i want to know, which character potrays you the most

and that dog was hella funny..hump hump humping away just like its owner..is it not sad she could not be satisfied.at least she knows what she does not want to settle for..
and the other one who adopted a child because she could not have a baby finally was able to take in..he girlfriends were suprised when she admitted she was mostly happy in her relationship...
i wonder how many people are reall really really happy?

now onto the brain storming
IF i was her and did not see marriage as a big deal I'll go ahead with harry as mr weirdo is really leaving up to his name

if marriage is a big deal, I will not go with neither of the guys..I'll stay single and hope to get what i want in another guy

guerreiranigeriana said...

...i had to stop reading that your second paragraph about sex and the city...haven't seen it yet and you were giving too many details!!!...

...as for sally...hmmmnnn...sally needs to sit down and ask herself what she wants for herself in this life and out of relationships...then ask if she is willing to settle for less...then she can hopefully determine if either of these dudes is worth her time...its often hard when you're in it to see clearly, especially with loveblinders on...i personally wouldn't be too thrilled about either option...

Smaragd said...

ohhhhhhhh, Parakeet, u've gone and spoiled sex and the city for me now, i've been looking forward to it! now that u've said this, i'll just keep fast forwarding till i get to the marriage part!

Sally shld just 4get Mr. Weirdo, even if she doesnt want Harry, cuz weirdo is just a punk!

Parakeet said...

@Pink-satin...you no see my life so?
@Bumight...Harry is going through a divorce at the mo and has not lived with his soon ex-wife to be for 3 years? Does that count for something. You're right about weirdo though.
@30+...strange world my dear. Perhaps she needs her head checked, lol.
@Sting...indeed its easier said than done. Not a pretty situation for anyone to be in
@Soupasexy...I still dont know what SATC made me cry. It may be better to start on a clean slate as you rightly pointed out.
@Charizard...hmm, that's a scary position to be in
@Agal...its so annoying. I just cant keep it together these days.
@Lg...na real siddon look. Mesef join you tanda. I dey kampe my sis.
@Jarrai...yea SATC was fab. Looks like more people are voting for the clean slate. Am inclined to think so too.
@Oluwadee...you shud see it. I quite enjoyed it myself. Yea you right, sometimes men are not that worth it and we just have to continue to look for the best we can get and not settle for less
@Zephi...hmm, big question. I think am Carrie, am a lovey at heart but try to pretend am not. I may want something so badly but pretend like it doesnt matter if I have it or not. I like the way you consider the marriage part, but the big question is what African woman dont give a damn about the wedding ceremony even if its a small one.
@Guerrera...am sorry. But am a renowned party pooper... lol. You right jare, none of the situations look attractive enough.
@Smaragd...am sorry jare, no mind me. Yea, she needs to give Mr Weirdo the red card. Not worth it.

Pink-satin said...

as to your questions on my page!!!the voices on the voice players are bloggers that participated in blogville 07

AlooFar said...

Everybody is talking about Sex & the City.

Crying? C'mon. You must be very emotional. Some people laughed at the end.

Hi ;)

Afrobabe said...

where is my comment???

Afrobabe said...

ohhhhhhh approval, didnt notice that...lol

Sha said...

gosh i stil havent seen SATC :(

Duchess said...

Weirdo...is as cunny as his name sounds....Harry is another bad idea...whos next???

sex n the city....a must watch movie for every home....lol

Dammy said...

I think she should do away with the Mr.weirdo and Harry! They don't seem to know what they truly want and a man who isn't ready for committment isn't ready for anything yet! She should put her past behind and move on...definitely with someone else!
This is my submission!

Howdy?

Olamild said...

You said all Mr. Weirdo wants to do is talk and have sex. He's not worth it. She needs to find a man that loves her for whom she is not what she has to offer. Respect, Love, Trust, Care, Commitment... is what she needs because sex isn't everything.


Harry needs to go and work things out with his wife. He has a wife and a kid. Believe me baby mamas are not hard to get rid of. The feelings men have for them differ from that of other women. Whomever he was with mothered his first child and that's something.

Holding on to either of them will do Sally no good. She has to put feelings aside and think of what's best for her.. something that will bring her joy & happiness for a long time

QMoney said...

ooooooh,and to tink i jus went to see a movie and i chose maid of honour over SATC!!dat would have been so much fun,she married BIg??she's gotta be crazy!!!LOL
As for sally,as far as am concerned,everyone can choose to co-habit but marriage has dis "binding" thing on u,it gives u d sense of making it work at all costs,if they just co-habit only,then they will both feel like they have options(cos they truly do anyway),i wish i could be talking to you!!its not like if u are married,u cant break up but its a bit harder even psychologically to walk out of a marriage!!so my take is NO-NO-NO-NO!if he feels daaaaaat commited(cos of d ring and stuff) then he should do what is honourable by her!!!even if its a small weddin,jus go to the registry,and invite ONLY family and very close friends but he has to do wat is honourable by her!!!!
We dont go into marriage wit dis feeling of "if he pisses me off",am out,we go in planning to make it work but if they are jus live-in lovers then the day he irrittates my temper,am out!!!cos wats d point???

BacktoNaija said...

Run Sally, RUN! I know it's not easy, but babes, it 's not worth the heartache that's waiting down the road with either men.

tankojjetty said...

love sha...
me i dont do love o...
everytime i fell in love, i got hurt...
when people fall in love with me, they get hurt...
maybe i'll meet someone who can SHARE stuff with me...
thats my own defi of love...
SHARING
1st time here...
nice blog

Afrobabe said...

Can't believe you cried watching sex and the city but at the same time I can identify with it....it all has to do with your state of mind at the time and noticing similarity in your own situation..

I love Harry but I think both men are out....

In my opinion if Harry is serious he will not only give a ring but finalise things with his wife and do the neccesary customary things to marry Sally....

dat one okrika girl...xyz said...

Hmm you cried for SexandtheCity? I haven't seen it,I didnt like the show (never got into its hype). Glad you enjoyed it sha.

As for Sally she should move on, neither dude deserves a chance. Mr. Weirdo is saying he want to be with her but his treating their budding relationship like friends with benefits, just popping up for sex. As for Harry a cheater is a cheater is a cheater.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Loved the SATC movie...
Have watched every season and was not let down by the movie.
What I like is the fact that they portrayed th reality of love..to a certain extent. Sometimes a man will mess up-sometimes he will continue to mess up, and heck he might leave you at the altar..at the end you have to own your decision to love him or not. Now Samanthas story was the least believable. Always has been for me. Miranda pissed me off!

NikkiSab said...

I loved d Sex and city so much. I kept laffin n crying too. My man was confused..lol!! I am a faithful sex and city addict and dis movie was worth d wait.
For d triangle people, i say she had beta tink long and hard about her decision.

princesa said...

I dunno o, 2 of them seem wrong for her.

I almost wasnt sure this was ur blog Ollay.

Lady Koko said...

WOW!!!!! HARRY CANT UST EXPECT HER TO MOVE IN WITH HIM UST LIKE THAT....A RING ON HER FINGER ...SO???? HE NEEDS TO TAKE THE TIME OUT TO WIN HER BACK!!!!
MR.WEIRDO....IS NOT ACTING INTERESTED....I WOULD HAVE LET HIM GO AGES AGO...even 'one liners' i cant handle..one-liners are the type thatgive u one word answers...one line emails... get the drift...you need a guy that will be excited by even a txt from you and his fingers will be arching cos his tryna convey his excitment thru his reply....
AM GOING TO WATCH SEX N THE CIY TONIGHT!!!!!!WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! so she amarried bigg sfter all...LOVE!!!!!STRANGE I SAY!!!!!

Allied said...

sally should dump Mr.weirdo. he is a waste of time. She should also not move in with Harry. Make sure his divorce is final and they date for sometime to know if its what she really wants

TinTin said...

na wa ohh..ur the millionth person that has told me they cried for satc..that deep ohh!

Honeywell said...

i say, if harry does not want to marry her, then forget it. When all the emotional and complex mumbo jumbo is broken down, if a man REALLY loved you, he will be willing to take the risk and marry you. They can still be friends, in case harry sees the light, but no cohabitation.

The mere fact that the thought of cohabiting with harry seems more exciting than mr wierdo, then maybe she likes harry more. However, she should give mr wierdo time. If his, urm, "needs" don't change, then abeg he should carry go. I hope this helps the person who needs this! Have a great weekend.

Pink-satin said...

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Smaragd said...

update please?!

Free-flowing Florida said...

b4 i continue reading, let me just say dat carrie marrying Big is just giving women false hope. d man dat leaves u hanging over & over is not worth being with, even if he eventually married u. something is wrong with him! marriage won't change dat!

if daz d msg of sex n d city, den my interest n seeing it has just suffered a big blow

Free-flowing Florida said...

SALLY, GOT FOR THERAPY RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE CO-DEPENDENT!!!!!!

naijalines said...

The SATC movie was a bit too real for me...I had mixed feelings about the movie. Will explain in a review on my blog later.

Re Sally: If Harry is going through a divorce, they both deserve another chance at love. but do they have to move in together now? I'll date Harry and see how things go b4 making any firm committments. Sally's long term decision about Harry depends on two things, I think.

1. Does she want children? If she does, not getting married could be an issue as per financial security for herself and any children they might have together.

2. Is she happy to co-habitate with or without children involved. If she is, no problem. If she isn't, she should move on.

simeoneomobaba said...

fit's messy ..but not the messiest of drama..she needs to clear both of them out of her life, get herself sorted out ..then she'll attract correct guyz...lifes too short for all this messing around...