As You Lay Your Bed...

...So shall you lie on it.

I hope I meet everyone in peace and in good health. Just to say a quick thank you for all the kind words. Thanks a mill.

I am doing great having just arrived from a mini break and Tigress being the great hostess that she is ensured I had a good time. Imagine the woman, she kept worrying about if I was bored or not. I needed to rest and have a girly chat and of course some shopping therapy and I got exactly that. So Tigress you do well for my body o.

Now to the matter at hand, the above saying is one we're all used to hearing but I wonder if we pay enough attention to it when making certain life decisions. Here is the gist, an Ex of mine who's been on my case for us to reconcile for a while now had a baby a few months back. As I was the one who called the relationship off it didn't bother me. In fact I thought to myself that since he's pitched up his nest with another woman and they now have a child which to me seals their union then he'd get off my case. How wrong.

To say that I was flabbergasterd when this brother renewed his chase would be an understatement. I mean how on earth could he think he is good for me now when he wasn't before? I am not saying a man with a child is not a good man but in this case it's totally not right because he had his baby after he met me. Of course I didn't expect him to hang on forever but I thought at the time of getting another woman pregnant it meant that he had moved on for good. Clearly not. Anyway I told him there could never be US and that he made the decision to impregnate a woman he didn't love enough to be his wife, hence he should deal with it.

My puzzle is that why do men do this? I know this guy isn't young and may just wanna get having a baby out of the way but does he not look at the bigger picture before doing it? Why are more and more men taking the route of having baby mommas rather than wives? Is this what they have reduced us women to? I actually feel insulted that he had the audacity to talk love with me while treating a fellow lady like me with such disrespect. The other lady may unknowingly be holding out a torch for him while he is there asking another woman to be his wife.

This is totally unfair and I'm really upset and if anything it has strenghtened my resolve not to give a man what he wants unless I am totally sure he can give me what I want. On the flipside I'm thinking perhaps he felt trapped with the baby. But my argument is this, if you do not plant semen into a woman, she has no business getting pregnant for you, hence the talk of entrapping you becomes baseless. You dont want an unplanned baby, then wear a freaking rubber.

Have a good one guys.

A Week Today

Happy birthday T. I'm sure the Angels are cooking up a feast for you today your special day. Happy 33rd. Miss you as always.

Things are better. I feel lighter and I'm thankful. Will be going on a break next week and wouldn't update for a bit.

Thanks for all the messages. Love you all.

Death You've Done Me Bad, Again!

What is life if all it brings is misery and sadness? 
They say our sojourn on earth has a purpose 
What purpose has a man who was snatched away by the cold hands of death in his prime come to fulfil? 
In fact what is the whole point of that purpose if it has yet to be accomplished? 
How could there be a God when a being so charming and so steadfast die a death so lonely and so painful? 
How does one come to terms with knowing that the person who was here today ceases to be here tomorrow? 
That a person so loved and admired could be spoken of in the past rather than present? 
That his phone will ring and go unanswered because life has departed his body 
Or non-reply to emails because he has taken his final breathe? 
How does one deal with the hurt of knowing that all desires, aspirations and dreams go with this person to his final resting place? Never to see the light of day.

I really am sad.

I haven't stopped thinking about you.

Your smile and the way you grind your teeth together when you speak.

You taught me to play the Nintendo Wii. 

I was useless with video games before you came along

Dodo was your favorite food. You ate it everything from eba to bread.

You wouldn't drink or smoke and spent so much time in church.

Helping out and being a role model.

You were a true gem and you touched my heart in unquantifiable ways.

I never said I loved you but now I say it

I really love you T and I'll carry you in my heart always.

Rest in peace.