Wednesday, 24 June 2009

As You Lay Your Bed...

...So shall you lie on it.

I hope I meet everyone in peace and in good health. Just to say a quick thank you for all the kind words. Thanks a mill.

I am doing great having just arrived from a mini break and Tigress being the great hostess that she is ensured I had a good time. Imagine the woman, she kept worrying about if I was bored or not. I needed to rest and have a girly chat and of course some shopping therapy and I got exactly that. So Tigress you do well for my body o.

Now to the matter at hand, the above saying is one we're all used to hearing but I wonder if we pay enough attention to it when making certain life decisions. Here is the gist, an Ex of mine who's been on my case for us to reconcile for a while now had a baby a few months back. As I was the one who called the relationship off it didn't bother me. In fact I thought to myself that since he's pitched up his nest with another woman and they now have a child which to me seals their union then he'd get off my case. How wrong.

To say that I was flabbergasterd when this brother renewed his chase would be an understatement. I mean how on earth could he think he is good for me now when he wasn't before? I am not saying a man with a child is not a good man but in this case it's totally not right because he had his baby after he met me. Of course I didn't expect him to hang on forever but I thought at the time of getting another woman pregnant it meant that he had moved on for good. Clearly not. Anyway I told him there could never be US and that he made the decision to impregnate a woman he didn't love enough to be his wife, hence he should deal with it.

My puzzle is that why do men do this? I know this guy isn't young and may just wanna get having a baby out of the way but does he not look at the bigger picture before doing it? Why are more and more men taking the route of having baby mommas rather than wives? Is this what they have reduced us women to? I actually feel insulted that he had the audacity to talk love with me while treating a fellow lady like me with such disrespect. The other lady may unknowingly be holding out a torch for him while he is there asking another woman to be his wife.

This is totally unfair and I'm really upset and if anything it has strenghtened my resolve not to give a man what he wants unless I am totally sure he can give me what I want. On the flipside I'm thinking perhaps he felt trapped with the baby. But my argument is this, if you do not plant semen into a woman, she has no business getting pregnant for you, hence the talk of entrapping you becomes baseless. You dont want an unplanned baby, then wear a freaking rubber.

Have a good one guys.

22 comments:

Tigeress said...

Entrapment my ass. When he was saying ooh yeh without a raincoat he didnt know that? If u dont want a baby- then strap up. Not rocket science.

Based on what u've said about this guy- dude doesnt sound likeable. Rather he comes across rather selfish cos he obviously cannot think he's the best thing for you. Poor baby mother. The baby is too young for him to be moving on to another woman. Feelings are still fresh- so my dear i'd suggest that u dont get inbetween the baby mama/daddy drama. U can do better.

QMoney said...

As far as me i am even concerned,if 2 people are careless enough to do up to getting pregnant,they should marry especially if they are old enough.....
More like the man should marry her,that's why i like all those villagers atimes
i am tired of the whole baby momma and dad syndrome

ShonaVixen said...

Lol@Tigeress' 'saying oooh yeh'...LMHO!!
I don't ever buy the entrapment thing..no sireee...and yeah u deserve way better!!

akaBagucci said...

As you lay your bed.. Perhaps that captures it succinctly......Action and consequence are opposite sides of the same coin.. Period....Dude needs to live with it..

Tigeress said...

OMD, i was first!!! woo-hoo!! And see the epistile i come write. hehehehe

ibiluv said...

you don talk am finish

you dont want kids......use a rubber

Therapy said...

Yeah he doesn't make much sense... Poor woman, I mean yeah it is her fault as well as his but it still sucks for her :( I hate guys like that...

Nice Anon said...

Aren't they that way? Trap you with pregnancy ke?

Well what happened with guy you gave number to?

bumight said...

trapped with a baby my ass! i second tigress!

Parakeet said...

@Tigress...he's not even on my radar. No man is at the mo.
@Q...I agree with you. People shud start taking responsibilities.
@Shona...most men can be so sick
@Bagucci...exactly. Unfortunately pple just wanna get away with murder these days.
@Tigress...u were o
@Ibiluv...QED!
@Therapy...am with you on that hate levels jare
@Nice...That one day. We have what I call a chilled friendship. Turns out the dude is 2 yrs younger. Not my cup of tea at all
@Bumight...stale line I call it.

doll said...

I agree with the not to give a man what he wants unless I am totally sure he can give me what I want part. As women I believe we get only what we set ourselves up for…

scribble,me.free said...

this is why i stay strapped...

dude needs to let it burn man.

hehe i just realised this situation falls into the sphere of that Usher album :p

tobenna said...

Dear Ollay, OOPS!
Parakeet, I mean.
Let's put this in perspective.....
Some men kill in cold blood.
Others rape women and even kids. (God forbid).
Some others torture slowly and ensure you do not die.
This guy?
He wants to sleep with you after recently becoming a father.
That's not so much a problem.
Is it?

Shoot me!

Parakeet said...

@Doll...WORD!
@Scribble...way to go bro
@Tobenna...love you bro. What else can i say eh? You just killed me...hahaha

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Parakeet I want to be like you when I grow up! You always have one man or another on your tail! LOL...

On the real though, at least it says something about his character that he didn't force the woman in question to have an abortion (or hopefully he didn't suggest that) and that he was honest with you about the child.

That said, that rubber doesn't always work oh. Too many women are sleeping on the pill for real...

Funms-the rebirth said...

selfish guy..... haba!!!!! pls shut him out. let him go take care of his baby..... he deserves no respect at all...
and uuuuuuuuuu, i came to london to see u and u went to the US without telling me! we have scores to settle o....

Repressed One said...

*sigh*...what is it with men these days?? Your title pretty much sums it up. The nerve of these men ehn?? In fact...

Beulah! said...

Chai, Men!!!!!!!!!

guerreiranigeriana said...

...well said dear!...i agree that we women need to stick together/look out for each other more and be less naive...and the fact that he can't even take responsibility-entrapment in 2009!!-further proves you deserve better...

LusciousRon said...

I want to stand up and clap but I can't because of the practicality. Imagine the audacity? He shoula worn the darn rubber in the first place. Well said!

Dammy said...

The good part of it all is that you always have them tailing you.

Have you ever imagined life without these interesting tales?

It sucks!

Just have fun jare.


Hope you are good?

Buttercup said...

Even if he really does love you and all, the baby mama issue has just complicated things. I'm quite certain that at this point in your life, drama is the last thing you need. Glad you enjoyed your holiday.