Tuesday, 5 April 2011

If You Must Sleep With A Married Man

...then make it worth your while.

This is probably a controversial post but I just have to say it. I am not endorsing sleeping with a married man. Heck no! However, the reality is that a lot of ladies do these days, knowingly or unknowingly. For a lady who knows that she's sleeping with a married man, why is she doing it if not for personal gain?

Okay so why am I writing about this? Last night, a friend in Nigeria confided in me that one of the top Managers in her work place is interested in her. She then said oh Parakeet, he's so goodlooking and I'm into him so am considering giving in. At this point I honestly thought the man in question was single as my friend is. So I asked her where the hesitation was coming from and she said 'oh he's married, he's got 3 wives'. After recovering from the shock and *picking my jaw from the floor*, I asked her if she was mad to ever consider a married man's advances. She went into this long story of how she was fed up with single guys and their games, how it still amounted to sleeping with them for nothing and how it even hurts more when a single man messes you around. Well true but she conveniently forgot about the bit where the chances of you having a more meaningful relationship with a single man is far higher than that of a married man.

Anyway it looked like there was no convincing this lady to abandon her quest so I asked her, 'what's in it for you? Is he gonna help with your business start up in anyway?' She was like 'no, I dont intend asking him for any favours lest he thinks am a prostitute'! HELLO! Should you give a rats ass what he thinks? A lot of these men already see Nigerian girls as easy anyway and for him to have made advances at you am sure he's willing to pay his way through, so why would you let him get away with it and give him a free p****?

In my own opinion it makes no difference, if a woman has decided to sleep with a married man, then she must be gaining something preferrably material from him. I mean why let the man win both ways? If he wants a mistress then let him pay for it. It makes you no prostitute as long as you're not putting out for many men at the same time in exchange for personal gain. Although perhaps there's some self esteem issues going on sleeping with a married man in the first place. Really, ladies put a price on it if you decide not to hoard your goods.

18 comments:

AlooFar said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Funms-the rebirth said...

I don't judge as to each is own, if you are going to sleep with a married man, there must be a personal gain because there can never be an emotional gain.....so what will be in it for you?

But he has 3 wives, how much of a personal gain can she even get sef?
If one indulges in a married man, it better be worth it......

Mamuje said...

Is she mad? Send me her number let me give her a virtual slap! If she has to date him then she MUST benefit from it. I had this conversation with a friend just this afternoon. Lying and adultery are both sins. I don't sleep with people's husbands but I won't judge the woman that does. He has 3 wives, he can even make her his 4th and of he is Muslim... All ahas gelled. Na my own I talk so!

Myne Whitman said...

The man has three wives, who's to say he won't make her the fourth? :)

ayabaodusote said...

I seem to agree with you as per getting something financially out of it as you will also get a lot of heartbreak........lol

Fragilelooks said...

for some ladies, it is a safe haven for them dating these married men, as long as there are no emotions attached but financial gains.

Sisi Yemmie ™ said...

this is a very controversial issue oh. I agree if u must chop frog, u must chop the one wey get plenty eggs but I dont endorse dating married men.....hmmmmmm abeg advice ur friend to desist. Doing more harm than good

Adura Ojo said...

The problem with cases like this is that it is all so short-sighted.
Not wanting to judge her but we live in a world where reputation is better currency than cash. So what may seem like a benefit to her now could well be costly some where down the line.

rethots said...

Thotful....

LG said...

lol@the last sentence, abegooo! :)

flourishingflorida.net said...

hmmmm


well sha, itz up to her. maybe to her there's more dignity in sleeping with a dude 4 'love.' My dear, rich man never insult you b4. When them wan insult u eh, na 2 finish u! So, i can't say i blame her. Besides, no be everybody sabi ask for money. Maybe she go dey shame sef 2 mention the things she wants.

Anyhow, so far as she knows what she's going into. Know say nothing fit comot this deal. Man fit no want wife number 4. Na dia i fit get issue with someone if she come dey deceive herself say he loves her.

Tigeress said...

my dear welcome to Naija! Ko si big deal. Ko de si meter be'n. LOL!!!

tobenna said...

Hmmm.
No comments on this

Tinu said...

3 wives??? whats a dud!

tobenna said...

Parakeet!
I think love is a very strange thing.
I believe it is entirely possible to fall in love with a married person. But that takes spending a lot of time with the person first and this should never happen.
But, yes. True love can be found in extra-marital affairs. No need for other benefits. My thoughts :)

Anonymous said...

There doesn't have to be a material benefit to sleeping with a married man. You get some company and attention, but your time, money, resources and freedom are still yours. He has no claim on them.

And it's not a self-esteem issue at all, because if you're doing other worthwhile things with your life that don't revolve around him, and that getting into a full-blown relationship would detract from the time and energy you need to continue doing said worthwhile things, then it's a win-win situation. Some mistresses don't want to "win" the guy away from their wives because if they do, then they have to put up with maintaining HIS full relationship needs as well. Some women don't have the resources or desire for that.

DontJudgeMe said...

This is a very touchy subject but I too can relate to this post. This is a little bit off the subject but all related one way or another. I'm married to my spouse for 16 years and we have encounted some issues in our relationship. I'm not going to point fingers but I would have to say a higher percentage is his fault. He has cheated on me twice and I let it go. He recently informed me that he was unhappy in our relationship and long story short he continued to push me away. I met a guy that came on to me I didn't not give him the time of day.... at first but I had just had another spat with my spouse and I end up giving the guy my number. Very successful business man the problem was he too was married and having some issues in his marriage I've been sort of sleeping with him for several months now and I actually end up meeting his wife.. I found out what he was telling me was actually TRUE his wife of course not knowing who I was stuck up a conversation and one thing lead to another meaning she begin telling me that she was done with him she want to leave but he keeps asking her to stay. After speaking with her she is was REALLY serious about not wanting to be with him and how she doesn't want to go around pretending they are a happily married couple. He is one amazing lover and now that I've met his wife I feel really bad and don't want to see him anymore but evertime I hear his deep sexy voice my legs quiver)))))) the things that man do to me WOW I still love my spouse but we are just in two different places right now and I think we both just don't know how to tell each other we are done or need time apart. I love him he loves me but I don't know if I'm still IN- LOVE with him. I have grown fond of Mr. Wrong but I do not expect to have a real relationship with him. I see him as a person that holds me, touch me and caresses me the way my husband doesn't I know its wrong but it feel soooo good. I do not plan on seeing him any time soon I'm trying to spare my feels and his wife (soon to be ex-wife)I haven't and will not mention it to him how she REALLY feels I'm not like that he will have to find that out on his own. I know this is the right thing to do I have to be the bigger person and walk away NOW!

Anonymous said...

don't walk run.....away far away