Saturday, 5 April 2008

My Friends in Nigeria and Western Guys

Okay, some of us have probably had an encounter with the yankee or jand boy who comes to Nija throwing money around, driving a big car and wanting to sleep with all the beautiful girls around. I've never been personally involved with any of the sort but I have rolled with friends who have them as boyfriends and I must say it can be real fun. We eat in choice restaurants as well as gaining entry into clubs that ordinarily cost a fortune for girls like us. Another glamour of dating yankee or jand guy is the fact that you can flaunt them around your friends who salivate over their smooth skin and fluid accent.

Perhaps under this allurement is the major heartbreak that lurks around for these girls. Its all well and good when a girl decides to date a Yankee/Jand guy for money, but when such a girl pins her hopes on him for marriage then she's asking for trouble. For most of my friends who have married guys from abroad, their husbands acted swiftly ensuring that they ask for their hands in marriage within no time and bring them to live for them in their respective states. But for the majority of guys who just go to Nija to have a nice time, they make false promises of marriage, visit Nigeria about 3 times a year but never make any concrete arrangements to seal their liaisons with the girls they've made promises of love to. In turn, under the razzle-dazzle of money, the girls forget to use their God-given brains to smell the coffee before its too late.

Within the last few months I've had calls from three of my friends who called me all crying about their broken heart. The guys who broke their hearts all fit the prototype of the typical Yankee/Jand guy who already has a wife and kid(s) and furnishes them with empty promises of love and marriage. Even for someone who lives in London, I've been deceived by these same kind of guy and quickly had to learn the hard way. Perhaps what surprises me most is that all of them have fallen victim of the sorts of guys not once, not twice. Accepted, most of them run after these guys cos they have suddenly seen a free ticket to London or Yankee but are they so stupid to fall in love? Maybe its poverty that has not only eaten deep into their pockets but also into brains.

Please girls smarten up, if you're gonna date a western guy at all let it be just for his money and accept any other things that comes with it as a bonus. Stop blowing up my phones cos I ain't agony aunt.


32 comments:

Charizard said...

hmmmnn....it is sad that after all the warnings and stories, and stuff 9ja women still fall prey to such guys...the truth is that, most of the time there are always blatant signs that such guys are surreal and fickle...butnooo. our women wont see all that...

Uzezi said...

when will we girls learn? lots of experiences yet people stil fall victim

anonymous gal said...

pls tell em o.if u talk they will say u are jeolous that the guy did not toast u.later they will say and anon gal mentioned it o.

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

buhaahaaa....aunty agony..thats what I will start calling you..its proverty or maybe just greed..whichever it is..na dem sabi..

doll said...

word LOL

Afrobabe said...

For some reason Nigerian guys change as soon as they get out of Nigeria...guys in Nigeria treat girls better anyway...why pin ur hopes on someone u see 3 times a year?

princesa said...

Its not hard and fast babe.
Sometimes,these girls truly fall in love with these guys maybe because of their smoothness or charm.

Dating the western guys just for their money may not cut it with these girls. For some, it's hard not to let their hearts get involved.

Nice blog BTW.

Lolu Kush (Afronuts) said...

lol...reminds me of Youth Service in Naija.

Youth Corper arrives in village.
village girls trip cuz he's an educated dude with a future compared to village dudes.

He wins their hearts. He doesnt even need to spend money on them. They bring foodstuff and goodies to him to impress him.

To end up marrying a corper is a village girls dream...but they end up with broken hearts as corpers 'wham bang' and scram.

Sounds familiar with ur post dont it? lol..

Ollay said...

@Charizard...what do they say? The more you look the less you see.
@Uzezi...I guess each go into to thinking they're different and things like that would never happen to them
@anonymous gal...lol. I once had a friend who thot I fancied her jand bf all becos I was telling her he wasn't real. In no time he proved me right.
@Zephi...its combination of both my dears. God help us.
@Afrobabe...Yes o...its like some evil spirit enters them when they get here.
@princesa...you may be right but when a girl dates a western guy once you may saw its love. A second time...possible, but a third time and she gets heartbroken again you just know its a calculated attempt to bag some rich dude. Thanks for reading my blog and for commenting...x
@lolu...LMAO! you right o...holiday romance gone sour!

Olamild said...

I hate hearing stuffs like this
I mean duh?
It's crystal clear that all the guy wants is free booty.. He'll sleep with them for the time that he's visiting. Once he's out, he's out.

Some girls need to wise up.

archiwiz said...

For real oh. They drink the water and all of a sudden their heads turn.

@afronuts... May God forgive all those guys.
Personally, I believe its our culture thats spoiling all these boys.

Oluwatoyin Ajao-Dawodu said...

That why a lot NGO are working to empower your women and helping them make informed decisions in life. Imagine a girl, woman that embrace independence, self worth, will she sleep around for money or be uneccesarily impressed by some yankee dudes?

We will get there.

OluwaDee said...

Lol at u nt being an agony aunt.
I don't know y girls will not learn oh.

Leme av ur email addy so i can send u d details of d lady. also dr r like 2 other ladies in 9ja who mk really lovli gowns, but i dont av dir contacts. Il c if i can get it.

ablackjamesbond said...

Sad...i have never been an advocate of across the sea romance. I know some of them do work out but a lot more do not.

NikkiSab said...

ha!!!!! i avn't been a victim but i wish girls would wake up. I first heard of dese cruel guys wen pathfinder (d car) first came out. If its happened b4 de av to be on dia guard. I pray odas learn. 1st time here.

TinTin said...

true..its especially bad at christmas when these so called yankee and jand boys are looking for three weeks of fun..on these naija girls just happen to provide that for them!! and then after the three weeks..woosh them guys are gone!!!

Ollay said...

@Olamild...of cos that's all they want. Cos when they get here they start bragging about how loose and cheap Nija girls are. It can be well annoying.
@Archiwiz...water ke? Nor be even champagne? Na wa o...You welcome to Ollay's blog. Thanks a bunch.
@Oluwatoyin...yes we need more of these NGOs cos this guys are stifling the groth of women in Nigeria which makes them more and more dependent on men for means of livelihood. Thanks for peeking through my blog
@Oluwadee...see me see wahala. Abi dem think say I get degree for psychology. I have sent you an email.
@black007...you call that romance? Or shagging...lmao!
@Nikkisab...pathfinder...hehehe that's a new one o. Thanks for visiting my blog.
@Tintin...you right abt that xmas thing. Guys here purposely prepare for it. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Sparkle said...

I don't even know where to start from...dis doesn't happen around Nigerian ladies only..I was talking to so me white girls here...one of dem has 3 kids for 3 different Naija men...she aborted like 4 pregnancies for different naija and yet they dump her...I keep telling her...u're cheap, dat's why they want u...I'm not trying to make our men look bad but it's gonna take a miracle for u to find a naija man who will marry u after 3 kids for different men...

the sad part is, even when u try to talk to these ladies that they are wasting their time with those men, they get mad...thinking u don't want them to be happy...I just wish some ladies will learn mehn!

Ollay said...

@Sparkle...3 kids for 3 different men...Now that's scary and am sure she wont even be 30 yet. I know a lot of non-Nija girls like to date Nija men for one reason or the other, but making urself so cheap for 7 different men is totally beyond me.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

you got the number one spot! congrats!

tobenna said...

*grin*
preach it sista!

guerreiranigeriana said...

hmmmnnn...interesting...dunno what to say...

Abbie said...

Question? What is a Jand or Yankee guy??
I know that must be the stupidest question ever. I'm just that ignorant of Nigerian slang.

Favoured Girl said...

I find it hard to imagine that girls can get so carried away with illusions that they throw away their common sense. Maybe it is poverty sha. Someone once asked me why Nigerian women can't rise above that dream of catching a foreign guy and marrying him to "increase" their status in the society. I had no answer.

Nice blog, it's my first time here.

Tininu said...

As a guy i am going to pick my words very very carefully..Do nija babes really expect jand or yankee guys that come for holiday, to be looking to settle down! and why cant they see that half the time the spending money and driving fancy cars are just a front..Think about it, we come for a duration of 4-8 weeks..Most guys will bring money that they have saved from over time and blow it all, in order to oppress someone else & look good..probably lie about some contract that they are doing and go back to jand or yankee and start from square one at work

Tininu said...

@ abbie- jand guy( Guys from london)

Yankee guys( guys from america)

Naapali said...

you assume they cried out of broken hearts, perhaps it was more out of empty wallets and dashed dreams.

Ollay said...

@Solomonsydelle…it sure felt good
@Tobenna…yes o
@Gnaija…na real interesting.
@Abbie…I belive you got the answers already…thanks for stopping by
@Favoured girl…illusions…that's the perfect word to describe it. Thank for commenting
@Tininu…Nice coming from a guy. Didn't even know they use contract to lie…lol. Thanks for visiting my blog
@Naapali…you crack me up…indeed that may be it.

AnyaPosh said...

aunt agony...hahaha!

these ladies need to wise up in time o! I know a hell lot of dudes who go to naija to flaunt it. hmm...it's funny you posted this - one of my boys got one hot chic preggers 2 yrs ago. It wasn't funny o. His parents didn't even know he had arrived 9ja 2 days earlier.

I guess the poverty thing is the incentive. I'm sure for those ladies, seeing a guy who can fulfill all their desires is a big motivation to dump the brain and jump on the wagon of hope & wasted promises. I hope they start smelling the coffee real quick!

Smaragd said...

I cant get over this appalling behaviour in naija girls! i hate to sound judgemental, but duh! what on earth makes an "i have just come from yankee/jand" guy so appealing? and why do these girls think they are rich?ehn? we all know that forex translates to a lot here, but hey, most of these guys go back there to do dirty jobs and drink the gari of their naija misspending!
any girl who cheapens herself and follows a guy cuz he speaks "fone" and has small change in his pocket deserves what she gets jare ah! am tired of this nonesense trend!*loud hiss and practically spitting fire*

Free-flowing Florida said...

i've always tot those guys were conceited loud-mouths. never liked dem, though my mom kept pushing dem my way (she believes women r not treated properly in naija & i needed an 'abroad' husband) but it never worked. 1 i kind of liked, but e no see my pant (he tried sha)

i'd rather d proper oyibos dan 'forming-oyibo's. only thing, d white pple 4 here, all of dem don old. @ least, dem dey put out pepper small. but den i've always been an adovacte of 'if u want a man's money, den don't sleep with him - but dangle sex b4 him sha, motivate him'

Fondea said...

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