The Woes of a Single Girl

I hate to announce to the world that I'm single but I'm sure the regulars of my blog know my story already so this doesn't feel much like am baring it all. Being single has been so full of drama, much drama than I anticipated and I don't know if a loathe or cherish it. You see this is the longest I've been single in my entire life of active dating which started about 8 years ago. Its not like I've ever been afraid of going it alone but I get so much attention from guys that its difficult to make a decision to be alone and of course fighting off the advances is real work. Even now sef I wonder if I'm truly single because I do have a love interest. To me 3 months of being single is a feat indeed. I've only ever managed a week in the past. It shows am growing more mature.

See men are a funny lot, I mean they never stop to astound me. In the past week also they've been coming out in their full glory and proving to me over and over again that one should only take their profession of love with a pinch of salt. Take for instance Kay, a guy I met when I was 13. I know what you're thinking and even I am aghast at the sort of dealings I had with men at that age. I hate to blow my own trumpet but I have been fighting away boys as old as 18 from the tender age of 12. I was a big girl for my age...my koko (you girls know) started at 8 and by 10 my aunt will tease me that my abo (bum) is starting to be visible. I didn't take much notice of these changes going through my body because after all it was my body and I still sucked my fingers. Ahem, yes I didn't stop sucking my fingers until JS2 so yes I was a big baby. No one new my secret of course, except my brothers.

Sorry to deviate, anyway Kay was a guy I met in Lagos during the long break we have after the JS3 exams. We both liked each other but as we were both young we knew our boundaries even though he had finished secondary school by then. I remember us dancing to the song 'I swear' in their living room but that was how far we went. Well maybe we shared a chaste kiss sha...after all one does't become pregnant from a kiss even though our parents lied to us that we will. What bull thinking of it now. Anyways as I don't live in Lagos, I had to go back to my home town at the end of the holidays and inadvertently said my goodbye to Kay. I still haven't seen him up till today except that a few weeks ago we jammed on FB. Yes almighty FB. Naturally there was excitement and all. He's now a big boy and works for a oil company in Lagos. He called me and we spoke for hours. Next day I receive an email from him saying lets start again from where we paused except that he was forgetting a little information on his FB page that he was engaged. I was quick to call his attention to it and lo and behold man went to quickly change his status from engaged to networking. What gives? Men I ask una why bother?

The two other interesting encounter I had with men all trying to get into my pants involved one 24 year old guy. Admittedly I was the one who added him on FB but that was because I thought he was an old friend. By the time we got talking I found he was not the one but that was enough time for him to confess undying love. I told man that I was 2 years older than him that I preferred my men mature both in age and mental faculties and he went on about how he didn't know I was older blablabla that he cant even go there too cos his parents would not approve and that he just couldn't handle an older woman. Just as I thought I had seen the back of him he contacts me again to say he couldn't get me off his mind and that he wanted us to get married. All this happened within 2 weeks. Now I'm wondering if I give these men impression that I'm stupid or desperate because I felt rather insulted that one small 24 year old boy will attempt to get into my pants with the promise of marriage. I really don't know where I got the strength to send him on his way without cursing his father.

The last but not the least was another old time friend who had 'engaged' on his FB profile too only to spend 1 hour with me on the phone last night saying he thinks that his fiancée of 4 years is wrong for him. When I asked him why, he obviously didn't have any tangible reason. Long and short of it was that he's always had a thing for me and he feels that God brought us back together for a reason. Hello! So ri ila loju mi ni? (Do I look like I've got tribal marks on my face...a derogatory phrase that suggests one is not socially savvy).

Well that's a glimpse of what has been going on with me in that wise o and frankly its really making it easier for me to remain single. If these are the calibre of men available these days I'll gladly remain single. I really don't know why men think women are stupid. I know there were those days when women hung to every word a man said to them, believing his every promise and having their hearts shattered in the end. But this is the 21st century and it seems that men are still stuck in the mentality of the twentieth or nineteenth century. A man need not tell a lie about what he wants because a woman can see right through these days. I believe women today often go into a relationship with their eyes and ears open and they know what to expect. A decision to date is no longer reliant on the man's lyrics or empty promises but on what the lady feels is good for her at the time. So please men go back to the drawing board and do away with all your annoying wooing tactics. Frankly its so jaded!