Thursday, 24 July 2008

The Woes of a Single Girl

I hate to announce to the world that I'm single but I'm sure the regulars of my blog know my story already so this doesn't feel much like am baring it all. Being single has been so full of drama, much drama than I anticipated and I don't know if a loathe or cherish it. You see this is the longest I've been single in my entire life of active dating which started about 8 years ago. Its not like I've ever been afraid of going it alone but I get so much attention from guys that its difficult to make a decision to be alone and of course fighting off the advances is real work. Even now sef I wonder if I'm truly single because I do have a love interest. To me 3 months of being single is a feat indeed. I've only ever managed a week in the past. It shows am growing more mature.

See men are a funny lot, I mean they never stop to astound me. In the past week also they've been coming out in their full glory and proving to me over and over again that one should only take their profession of love with a pinch of salt. Take for instance Kay, a guy I met when I was 13. I know what you're thinking and even I am aghast at the sort of dealings I had with men at that age. I hate to blow my own trumpet but I have been fighting away boys as old as 18 from the tender age of 12. I was a big girl for my age...my koko (you girls know) started at 8 and by 10 my aunt will tease me that my abo (bum) is starting to be visible. I didn't take much notice of these changes going through my body because after all it was my body and I still sucked my fingers. Ahem, yes I didn't stop sucking my fingers until JS2 so yes I was a big baby. No one new my secret of course, except my brothers.


Sorry to deviate, anyway Kay was a guy I met in Lagos during the long break we have after the JS3 exams. We both liked each other but as we were both young we knew our boundaries even though he had finished secondary school by then. I remember us dancing to the song 'I swear' in their living room but that was how far we went. Well maybe we shared a chaste kiss sha...after all one does't become pregnant from a kiss even though our parents lied to us that we will. What bull thinking of it now. Anyways as I don't live in Lagos, I had to go back to my home town at the end of the holidays and inadvertently said my goodbye to Kay. I still haven't seen him up till today except that a few weeks ago we jammed on FB. Yes almighty FB. Naturally there was excitement and all. He's now a big boy and works for a oil company in Lagos. He called me and we spoke for hours. Next day I receive an email from him saying lets start again from where we paused except that he was forgetting a little information on his FB page that he was engaged. I was quick to call his attention to it and lo and behold man went to quickly change his status from engaged to networking. What gives? Men I ask una why bother?


The two other interesting encounter I had with men all trying to get into my pants involved one 24 year old guy. Admittedly I was the one who added him on FB but that was because I thought he was an old friend. By the time we got talking I found he was not the one but that was enough time for him to confess undying love. I told man that I was 2 years older than him that I preferred my men mature both in age and mental faculties and he went on about how he didn't know I was older blablabla that he cant even go there too cos his parents would not approve and that he just couldn't handle an older woman. Just as I thought I had seen the back of him he contacts me again to say he couldn't get me off his mind and that he wanted us to get married. All this happened within 2 weeks. Now I'm wondering if I give these men impression that I'm stupid or desperate because I felt rather insulted that one small 24 year old boy will attempt to get into my pants with the promise of marriage. I really don't know where I got the strength to send him on his way without cursing his father.


The last but not the least was another old time friend who had 'engaged' on his FB profile too only to spend 1 hour with me on the phone last night saying he thinks that his fiancée of 4 years is wrong for him. When I asked him why, he obviously didn't have any tangible reason. Long and short of it was that he's always had a thing for me and he feels that God brought us back together for a reason. Hello! So ri ila loju mi ni? (Do I look like I've got tribal marks on my face...a derogatory phrase that suggests one is not socially savvy).


Well that's a glimpse of what has been going on with me in that wise o and frankly its really making it easier for me to remain single. If these are the calibre of men available these days I'll gladly remain single. I really don't know why men think women are stupid. I know there were those days when women hung to every word a man said to them, believing his every promise and having their hearts shattered in the end. But this is the 21st century and it seems that men are still stuck in the mentality of the twentieth or nineteenth century. A man need not tell a lie about what he wants because a woman can see right through these days. I believe women today often go into a relationship with their eyes and ears open and they know what to expect. A decision to date is no longer reliant on the man's lyrics or empty promises but on what the lady feels is good for her at the time. So please men go back to the drawing board and do away with all your annoying wooing tactics. Frankly its so jaded!

50 comments:

Afrobabe said...

First??????????

Afrobabe said...

I better be first oh...awaiting approval kuh...

hmmm men and their antics but come oh babes, ur started ur kini at 8?? and I fet odd for being one of the only babes in form one...

Dont know why you are shocked that men follow u like flies with them double DS you carry, even we babes look with awe...

Sasuke said...

I am First sha! oh Boy norrin do me. i guess this means my weekend is going to be off the heezy...i dey cum

Sasuke said...

my sister i feel your pain oh but as you come set nko? i guess you are taking the right path in averting any unforeseen dilemma.but i wonder why men would have to promise marriage to get in between a womans sweetness.well you done catch their scope all you have to do na just to dey dull dem dey go

Sasuke said...

Chei afrobabe done sly me sha abeg i take the first claim back jare.parakeet you done join dull me jare...lol

i done go jump sha

tankojjetty said...

Think been single is over rated ...
cause when u look at it...
u arent really single...
u've always got a love interest...

shio...u no get u dey talk...
u get plenty toasters u dey talk...
u ladies arent ever really satisfied shay

QMoney said...

I am sorry about dis but i had to laugh thru weti FB go cause???
OMG,i didnt know it was dat bad now............i dont get toasters dis days so i dont even knw their lines are so whacked now.OMG,i need to read again

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LG said...

@......quickly change his status from engaged to networking.
buahahahaha yeye

@sasuke
na her fault say she 'set' *hiss*

*IF ONLY MEN KNOW WAT THEY WANT.....*

Jaycee said...

I had to start laughing when I saw that Kay changed his facebook status from engaged to networking...LOLLLL...some people have issuesss....lolll...odikwa scary...

Someone wanted to marry u after a 2-week encounter???? Lolll, u see...also consider that you is a very very beaurrriful girl...(that's so silly!)

PLSSSS...yes o...this is the 21st century! I concur!

OluwaDee said...

lol!
These men/24 yr old boy must have really pissed u off.

FB is causing a lot of brouhaha o.

Howz things?

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

i swear the lot of the male species are a trifling one..They feel when they say "marriage" that it is an automatic off pata..dem neva jam..
My dear keep on keeping..You will find the right one, from the small percentage of good ones out there...
How are you?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

wait, the guy forgot that his fb page said he was engaged and then was asking to hit 'play'? wow, wonders shall never cease...

Hope all is well?


NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...

doll said...

delete them from ur facebook....

Afrobabe said...

lmao @ sasuke...first kuh...hahahahhaha
@ doll, deleting them doesn't help as yo can send messages to ppl not on ur list...I get a lot of those...

Chari said...

hmmn...we men sef....even I take the words of men with a pinch of salt..

Free-flowing Florida said...

i tell this is one thing i don't miss about not being single anymore. d insincerity of men! i hate second guessing everything am told, & wondering if there's more than am being told, cos i've always been a literal person.

just bone them, o jare.

Jaguda said...

when you're hot you're..........

Doja said...

The guy is really desperate.

rayo said...

wat is it wit all these guys sef... i love ur blog

NikkiSab said...

Good men av become an ENDANGERED specie.
D married guy in my office is chasing 4 of us gals and 1 of is married n preggers and den me engaged but to him we r beautiful n chaseable. Dats a fad o 3 absolutely beautiful children n lovely wife. Goodluck on finding a goodman, dere r a handful left.

30+ said...

Marriage after two weeks?!

I agree with Nikkisab, good men are indeed endagered species.

princesa said...

Some guys can be really stupid!
Single girls don suffer,kai!

ablackjamesbond said...

There r still decent men out there, believe me.

ShonaVixen said...

i totally agree with Nikkim Good men are an endangered species for real. FB..lol..the things its causing!And you are so right, men dont even know that there's no point in trying to lie, we women can see right through them!!

anonymous gal said...

Mhen wat the wont say to get into our pants

DiAmOnD hawk said...

undying love and a proposal in two weeks... girl it's all you...

I had to laugh at that one... and FB is becoming something else these days...

good luck with everything...

abbie said...

You know my story dear, fresh out of a relatinship and already I'm dreading being by myself. I've known from an early age that I DO NO LIKE being single. Period.
But as you mentioned, I'm not jumping and swooning for every Tom, Dick and Harry neither.
It's hard but I feel you on the quality of men out there.


To answer your question on Facebook, the new pics are from an event yesterday, not the one I wrote about. I didn't want to respond on FB because you know my ENTIRE family can see it. And that party i wrote about was a family member's.

uNWrItten* said...

mmm facebook runs!!!!!!! too madd for u o!! lol
eh yah..men will be men..they dont change their stripes..no matter how old boo.

Aphrodite said...

The tricks of men!
We hope to always meet the good ones sha.
Nice blog.

Chukwubike said...

SOUNDS VERY SINCERE.
WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED ABOUT MEN AND THEIR WAYS?
CHARLES (ROME)

pieces said...

Glad to see that the leopard hasn't lost its spots.The day it happens aliens will be working on earth instead of men.And we don't want that.

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

my dear I am fine...laziness is doing me oh..plus I am having writers block..suggest a topic for me

Smaragd said...

Zephi, u berra get ur lazy ass up and write sth sharpish! i am bored and need to laff.lol

see pot calling kettle black!lol, i am just as bad right now.

Parakeet the hawt chick! it's not easy to be a fine girl now, but it's easy to be single sha, i've been single for over 2years and i only recently started missing being in a relationship.

we'll get the good men, there are certainly some out there looking for us (postive confession is very impt these days o)lmao

ibiluv said...

kini at 8 fear me
and i thot i was early at 11.......

no mind all those oloriburukus......

babe ur own dey cum.

stay u!!!!!!!!!

Duchess said...

all this FB guys sef....i tire for them jare....you for curse the stupid 24yr old boy's father joo...next time he wont try it again.

but wait o, why are they all offering you marrige nah...hmmm! *thinking*...babes beware o...the lucky dude might just be by the coner, vigoursly ringing the bells o...so let ur ears n eyes be at alert

Lady A said...

Girl, enjoy your single stage. There are no woes...that's the world's view of single women. This is your time to soar and enjoy your male friends!

tobenna said...

Sigh.
You have been meeting the wrong guys. Very weak lines.
What is it about you that attract men? Engaged men?
You've been single for 3 months now and thats the longest in 8years?
DANG!
You really must be red hot.

I'm engaged too, but, you really sound like the girl of my last night dreams.
Do you think we could hookup?
Just for the fun of it?
One night only, One night only.
Really.
Think about it and holla at me on "nought - nine - nought........"
*grin*
Pls. note that

dat one okrika girl...xyz said...

I've been single on and off for about a year now, its not easy at all.

"A man need not tell a lie about what he wants because a woman can see right through these days." --So true, men think they are smart, we see right through them o.

Sha said...

LMAOOOOOOOO
some men never cease to amaze me...
da one dats bn engaged for 4years is a fool sha.. i feel sorry for his fiancee! wot a mess!

Dammy said...

I am happy you were not gullible enough to have fallen a victim but what happens to single ladies out there who are so vulnerable to such antics?

I hope you don't mind me linking your current post on my blog?

Thanks for sharing!

Mogaji said...

Naija men love to throw the words marry and love around they think it makes them sound more committed. I just want to tell them they are just as "assholey" as their american commitment phobe counterparts

tobenna said...

Woah, Mogaji.
Calm down.
Unless you decide to die a spinster, you will spend the rest of your life with an "asshole"

Parakeet said...

Ah hahahaha Tobenna, dont be so hard on men now...you be man too o!

NigerianDramaQueen said...

hmmm babes u r hot oh! only u,single and almost married men just dey pursue u, even for facebook sef. I come and bow.LOL
Yes oh, the good men r so hard to find. The bad and weird ones seem to abound. When u find a good one, let me know if he has a brother okay?lol

Parakeet said...

Lol NDQ..u funny. I found a good man actually. I rediscovered my ex and oh no not the one I must married and ran. The one before, it took me making a mistake to know that we're a match made in heaven. And of cos the help from Afrobabe has to be acknowledged.

Unfortunately lady, his younger brother got married last month...sorry to burst your bubble darling...ROFLMAO

Buttercup said...

um...3 months of singledom is a feat?? u remind me of my older sis n u r the same age too! shes hardly ever single...i've been single for 3yrs+..talk about feats..

lol @ ur 'suitors'!

Lady Koko said...

honeslty I TIRE!!!!!!!!!!!*SIGH*.......ths saddest part is..SOME WOMEN BUY THIS CRAP OOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DOUBLE SIGH*
2 WOOP WOOPS FOR THE SINGLE BUT CLASSY BABES...WHO DONT BE MISTAKEN ARE ON FIRE...BUT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT...THERRFORE WILL WAIT FOR CORRECT TINGS TO JAM OUR WAY.....we know our worth ooooo..BEWARE!!!!!!!!!
P.S:XOXO

WeirdGurl said...

lol. men are something else

Red Sapphire said...

Den think say dem jam mugu...thank God say u no be one.am glad u know the gimics being played...for those that don't know..u made a way to know...engaged to networking ko!...make him go jam rock...olodo!!!lol