Monday, 4 August 2008

Men Are Becoming Sissies

We all know most women are preoccupied with their appearance and philosophers such as Sigmund Freud put this down to women's narcissistic nature. Women's narcissism he says was developed as a result of 'penis envy' because during our evolution from infancy to girls we stopped short of developing what he calls the super-ego. Men on the other side developed the super ego that's why they pay more attention to external things such as amassing wealth than personal beauty.


Susan Bordo, Wendy Chapkis among other early feminists were obviously opposed to this view and posited that patriarchal culture is to be blamed for women's intense pursuit of beauty.. They claim that it is not biological for women to want to seek beauty above other things but rather because from birth there have been gender roles demarcated for both sexes where girls are bought dolls and dressed in gowns while boys are encouraged to be involved in activities related to display of strength and vigour such as sports.


Why am I going all academic? Well my point is from the word go we all know there are gender roles. We've come to expect the woman to pay attention to her physical appearance while making herself desirable to men. The man on the other hand is expected to be all macho and work hard to get a fat bank balance. As women we are expected to attribute things such as rippling muscles, hard square jaw, hard bodies and the likes to a real man. The closest a man could ever dream to being feminine is to smell nice. Other than this, nothing but an 'alpha male' will do.

Fast forward 21st century, gender roles is beginning to be blurred and it is now commonplace to find women in positions hitherto occupied by men and vice versa. However who could ever think that men would become so effeminate? They coined a new term 'metrosexual' to describe heterosexual men who have a strong concern for their appearance. A good example of a metrosexual man is David Beckham. Some women tried to come to terms with this new soft alpha male with ladies like me even preferring a metrosexual brother as long as he stops short of being gay and vain. I mean who needs a sissy?




Alas last Friday I was reading my favourite evening paper, The Londonpaper and six or seven pages down the headlines blared 'Guyliner or Manscara..? Splashed over the page were men who had applied eyeliner and looked no more than a court jester. I'm like what is this? To my horror the article covered how super drug had released a make up line for men. What for? Why on earth will any real man need a eye liner? I'm all for using moisturisers and perhaps eye brow trimming but eye liner or mascara? As if that was not enough, on BBC breakfast this morning, they unearth how tights are now being made for men and I'm thinking would they need to start wearing skirts too? I certainly don’t wear tights when I wear trousers so why is there a need for tights to be made for men?


I guess the implication for this is that most of the gender theories that have been developed in the past to explain the differences between man and woman may need to be revised. The likes of Freud unfortunately he's dead now would have to go back to the drawing board and re-write their theories. I am thinking the feminists are right on this one, gender roles are man-made and not nature based. I personally think that after God created the foundations of the world everything else that was created including culture, religion, beliefs, norms etc are man-made and if it is manmade it is changeable.


Have a good week everyone.

39 comments:

OluwaDee said...

1st!

OluwaDee said...

Am not even sure if I'm first, with this your comment moderation.

Y on earth will a man want 2 apply mascara or eyeliner???? Gess!!!

Well all em beauty/dressing rules r man made oh, so i guess they r changeable.

Howz thingz???

Afrobabe said...

2nd...

kai...Oluwadee...didnt this post just go up??

you didnt even read it first...
mcheeeewww let me go and read jare...

Afrobabe said...

Yeah, heard they also use lipstick and lip-gloss for the men on tv…yuck…super yuck..
How can London paper be your favorite…I love London lite, it’s the best!!!
I have been sent by my fellow bloggers to ask you to do a post on why you left your ex…Hey don’t shoot the messenger!!!

Standtall said...

Haven't you said it all, "it's man-made and it's changeable!!!"

Change is constant, yesterday cant be changed but today/2mrw can.

geishasong said...

to be fair, rock stars have always used makeup, and they've always been imitated by young guys..
instead of seeing it as men becoming sisified, see it as men liberated- finally they can break free of their macho image...

doll said...

4th

Sha said...

LMAOOOO 'end times' my sister abi how dem dey call am.

Sha said...

I agree with afro.. LONDON LITE is the best!

Jaguda said...

tufiakwa! mascara for who, tights for who? this world will soon end o. ahn ahn. buttressing your point afrobabe u are right that almost all men use some make up while on tv but its a far cry from mascara!

ShonaVixen said...

Parakeet...I also like London Paper however, LondonLite makes me laugh wiv their text column!Ok now to this whole make-up range for men..please naw!!Soon will have men queing at the Mac counters too - u ever seen the guys that work there?I have concluded that they are gay...But i like my men looking macho not having to discuss which eye-colour would compliment his outfit!

doll said...

well while am scandalized I must also admit….the norms are dictated by the society and what we are all used to……..because we are used to seeing women on trousers or on make up… it is acceptable but the reverse because it is strange and out of culture, out of norm, seems despicable and unacceptable…
That said I can’t accept any guy that wears skirt or mascara or liner as my boyfriend or my husband sha o!

Venue: Tentative

Parakeet said...

Hehehe...all you London Lite lovers. I used to prefer London Lite over Londonpaper before cos of their text columns until I found that was the only thing to the paper. Londonpaper on other hand used to have city boy, has girl about town, the female and male gay colums and the boy about town too. For these reasons the londonpaper wins.

Enigma said...

Get it off your txt column in london lite beats all the other columns in london paper men!, the only interesting column was city boy and since he's been replaced by city girl..leave story!

Apologies...Let's not turn this comment page to paper fight...

Men's 'beauty products' i just thought it was ridiculous, it's ok to use men's moisturisers and stuff (i use lip balm) but fake lashes and eyeliners are the height! while some celebs can pull it off, any other man who feels the need to 'highlight' his eyes or anything else is just barking mad!

Free-flowing Florida said...

nna, i tire o. kai, kai. no husband of mine will use guyliner or tight! 4 wetin! abeg, abeg. God made u different 4 a reason. let's keep it dat way, as far as am concerned.

naijalines said...

"...gender roles are man-made and not nature based. I personally think that after God created the foundations of the world everything else that was created including culture, religion, beliefs, norms etc are man-made and if it is manmade it is changeable."

You've said it all babe, nothing more to add :D

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

" I personally think that after God created the foundations of the world everything else that was created including culture, religion, beliefs, norms etc are man-made and if it is manmade it is changeable."

I like that.

My favorite metrosexual is Kanye west.lol..
Nothing wrong with a guy who puts some effort in his looks and is well groomed..as long as you dont spend more time in the mirror than I do, then its fine and dandy..There has to be a balance..oh and a guy who can assert his masculinity in the kitchen is ultra sexy

Shubby Doo said...

i have no problem with men looking good but men in make up...no

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

i know this one naija guy, the way this guy groom's himself ehn, i wuld not be shocked at all if tomorrow he comes to declare he is gay. the guy uses foundation. if i am lying i am flying but he has a girlfriend. and he is 100% naija ohh not even born in the UK sef.

na wa sha. this metro thing is going too far these days.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

The one thing I cannot cannot stand, is men in skinny jeans. Call it 'European' or 'In'-I'll call it what it is: a HELL NO.
Let me be a gbeborun now
I saw on Afrobabes blog that your back with the Hottie
YAYYYYYYY

rayo said...

make up 4 men? what nonsense... isnt it lyk men 2 always want wat d women have nd mo

Afronuts said...

Hmm...yeah but u seemed not to mention women who have started changing into men...

LG said...

lolllll @'Guyliner or Manscara..?
i m wit sha on dis one, signs of
'end time' i tell u *grins*

Doja said...

Actors have been using makeup since the begining of whatever it is they do. saw the man liner on TV...Just ridiculous as ever.

Aphrodite said...

I agree with you that gender roles are man made.

So now men want to change the rules, na wa o!

ibiluv said...

God forbid!!!!!!!!!!

men in mascara????????

word verification off plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Dammy said...

What nonsense!

Thank God I am an African.

I am very much in support of men looking good...as a matter of fact, I am crazy about keeping long hairs(on my head o! lol) but mascara or eyeliner, O pari! The world is really coming to an end!

Thanks for your comment on my blog.
That was quite insightful and presents the woman's perspective to the post. What a balance! But the thing long sha ooo! Now I see why posting comes so easy for you!(smiling).

Howdy?

anonymous gal said...

Men mascara or eyeliner. that does not sit well wit meo

aloted said...

firs time here...

nawa o..all sorts..eyeliner, tights for men? lol

serious matter

going off to read some of ur other posts

guerreiranigeriana said...

...wait a minute!!!!...beckham is considered metrosexual?!...oh lawd!!!...i didn't know that...when did that happen?!...Christ!...now i have to go back and re-evaluate my obssession with him...dammit!!!...

guerreiranigeriana said...

...your last paragraph/sentence is the best part/take home message...in spite of that, i don't care for the whole metrosexual/gender shifting shit...i agree that sexuality is more of a spectrum than we allow, but give me a rough, rugged, bushy browed man anyday!!...please...makeup for photo shoots/commericals, okay...but on the regular?!...hell no!!...i don't even use makeup!!!!...what the f*ck!..anyway, i've said i want a naija or at least african man...emphasis on man please...but obviously there are some women who like that...shit, there are women who want to be men...to each their own...

tobenna said...

Chukwunna!
Thats supposed to be an exclamation.
That picture you have on, is he a guy????
Na wah oh. He looks so gay!
According to western media, people like me are termed 'homophobic'. Whatever!
Real men are never sissies!
PERIOD

Buttercup said...

wow...what is this world turnin into??

i dont even wanna imagine what products wud be made in the next 5yrs!

anyhoos, how u doin??

Uzezi said...

neyo wears lip gloss that is very obvious. most of them now want longer lashes so they go for mascara. we better protest when they go for the fake lashes, then it will be too expensive for me. not funny

Esmeralda said...

thank you very much o lady Parakeet! "i come and tire" for all these wanna-be-women who call themselves men! wetin eye no go see? Manscara ke?

i dont mind a guy being metrosexual (at least i think so) as long as he is at first stage metrosexuality ni o (perfume, good dress sense), not full blown!

Favoured Girl said...

I saw the article in the paper (btw I love thelondonpaper too, London Lite is the wannabe lol) and I just shook my head. It's funny but not surprising.

For years men have been saying that women have an unfair advantage with enhancing our looks and appearance: we can wear high heels, we can wear braids and weaves, we can wear make up, we can wear nice jewellery etc. We can even have surgery to "fix" the things that we don't like. So men now want some of that.

Personally I think it's a bit ridiculous but hey, it's a sign of the times we live in. You just wait until we are in our 50s and our kids are telling us about the world they live in by 2060.

Chari said...

NO!

Men are not becoming sissies...ok yes I know wearing make up is just pushing the boundaries ABEG!!!

AND

I strongly believe that you have a wrong impression of metrosexual men

I digress...

I dont know about all these efforts to try to emasculate the masculine gender...you should have seen how mad I went when Giorgio Armani came out with his totally gay fall collection...

Lip balm I understand...anything after that is unheard of!

Haaa!!!!!!

Afrobabe said...

oya update this place before we give u query...

Vera Ezimora said...

LOL. Tights 4 men. Ooooookay! I don't care what they call it oh. That is just straight up homosexual. What da heck?! If my man wears tights, that would be the END of us. Shooo!