Sunday, 1 November 2009
Two-Timing, And You Know It.
Thank you to everyone that commented on my last post. It was something weighing heavily on my mind and I needed to get it out. I'm so glad I did because not a word of condemnation was written but those of encouragement and positivity. Thank you all so much.
So today's post. I am aware that we girls like to snoop around our man. We like to know things he may be hiding away from us. Big question though, if we do find out he has secrets, what do we do? So you look through your man's phone to see if he's been sending or receiving texts from another girl apart from you. Or you hack into his emails to see if he's making the same promises he's making to you to another girl, and indeed you do find something. The 'I love you' he sent to Sarah. Or the 'I'll see you later' he sent to Bisi when he'd told you he was going to be held up in a long meeting at work. If you confront him with your information, how do you explain to him that you came by it in the first place? If you decide not to tell him, how do you deal with these other girls? This is a man you love and have dreams of spending the rest of your life with. He's almost near perfect other than for this new development. In fact you do not have a doubt in your mind that he loves you, but if he does why chase other women or keep secrets?
I've always said to myself that what you don't know would not hurt you, but I'm beginning to think that if it doesn't hurt you now, the likelihood of it coming back to bite you in the butt in future is higher and by then you may not have enough support system in place to help you cope. So sometimes it may pay to know early depending on what the nature of the information is and one could use this as an effective argument for snooping. The downside is though it forces someone to make decisions one may not be quite prepared to make at the time of the information coming to light. Say for instance you find that your man is seeing someone else who he seems to be into. If you confront him, he'd know that you've been through his stuff and if at the time of confrontation you were yet to make up your mind to leave him for his infidelity or not, then things may turn the other way. If what my idea of how a man will treat this kind of situation is anything to go by then I'd say he's likely to take a walk saying he could never trust you even though he was the one in the wrong from the outset. If this happens one will never know if he would have chosen to be with one or the other girl in the first place. Of course this argument will only hold water for a woman who's prepared to forgive a man of infidelity.
Truth is I don't know if I'm for snooping or not because ultimately the problem will always be now that I know what do I do with the information? Say if I find my man has been engaging in internet dating with girls he's not in the same location with. While they may not pose an immediate threat to our relationship, it is still a form of infidelity and if I bring it up with him, he'd know I've been snooping and then becomes more secretive. Is his internet relationship enough for me to walk out on our relationship? If I decide 'no' and do not bring it up then trust is damaged and enjoying the relationship becomes difficult.
What do you say guys?