Multi-Dating My Foot

Truth be told, I cant crack this multi-dating thing...that's the update.

How are you my very own peoples. I must first pay homage to whom homage is due. I say thank you for counting me worthy enough to still come round and read my rants even though I have been slack in my duties of timely updates and blog rounds. I also wanna say a massive thank you to those who have made my buddy RocNaija to feel rather welcome to our family. Kudos also to the brains behind Naija Bloggers Award. Una do well.

My adept followers will know about my resolve to go multi-dating in order to find THE ONE. Well Stop Press: Parakeet is still very much single. The multi-dating thing has not worked for two plausible reasons, one because I actually never got round to doing it and two because I just don’t get attracted to guys no more. Ehn…I don’t get attracted to girls either before you start thinking all those naughty thoughts. Even though I agreed to give both leggedese benz and mercedes benz brothers a chance for a date with moi, I just couldn't bring myself to follow up after such dates. There was just no motivation or energy even though for the most part these guys are perfect gentlemen.

I have decided to give up on dating and give up on men until I can reasonably start to 'feel' again. At least am not doing what most women do and blame men for my woes. I am just putting my hands up here to say that I am emotionally barren at the moment and no need leading a guy on who may just happen to have genuine interest. In the meantime though I shall be searching for answers as to why and how I got here. Has anyone out there been here before? Do we have a shrink in the house whom Parakeet may just speak to?

A girl needs some help here. I'm out in peace. Be back soon so have a great weekend everyone.

Would My Top Five Make Yours?

Hi everyone, hope I meet you well. Since I've been unable to blog I got someone new to blogville who is guest blogging for me today. Below is his ingenuity.

So she said.. "you're actually a good writer.. U ever considered blogging before?"
And I said.."Thought about it once but never got round to doing it.. Besides who would read anyways..?''
"You should try it sometime.. You'll be surprised.."
"Really? Hmm.. Maybe I should guestblog for u and see how it goes" I said, jokingly
"Yeah sure! Not a problem.."
''oops!!''

So two months later, its RocNaija guestblogging for TheParakeet.

Amazing how the most 'off-the-cuff' conversations, strike a chord sometimes..
I tend to have mixed emotions when I talk 'off-the-cuff' with my people..
Ranges from being nostalgic.. to 'hmm-never-did-that-before'.. To 'I'm-glad-that-never-happened-to-me'

So I came up with a list.. Should be longer than it is but as we're in an era of downsizing..

5. The heat.. and mosquitoes.
I hate it when I'm in subzero degrees somewhere and the weatherwoman comes on saying ' still icy winds across europe.. But lagos is 30.. Abuja 35'And that buzz in ur ear.. The one where u slap yourself cos your half asleep.. Priceless!

4. NEPA
When we were younger it was ''up! Nepa!'' But as the years piled on, we took to whispering 'oh nepa' in exasperation. Still... Better than saying ''oh phcn!'' (always thought they left out the vowels intentionally ;-) )

3. Horns
Yeah.. Odd one I know. But it's the first thing u notice when ur out of Naija for a bit..No okada's whizzing past with lorry horns attached.. No danfo's on pedestrian kerbs horns blaring.. No molues at breakneck speeds playing tunes with their horns..
Nothing.. Just absolute silence

2. Motherland
The comedy skits.. The saxophone.. the enigma.. Nuff said.

1. Blowjob on kuramo beach..
Where did that come from? Heady akoka days & ranks under the never-did-that category.
If u want that story, you'll have to click here.

So there u have it folks..

So what would u take off my list and swap with something else?
RocNaija signing off..

9 Days into February Happy New Month

'Iwo yi laro' (cant translate, soz) you Yorubas will say but I can only say make una no vex. I've been tied down with moving and stuff so no time to update or to reply to comments. I have been on the road a lot for someone who wants to stay indoors because of the cold. My mobile has become my best friend but unfortunately I couldnt update blogger from it. Imagine after taking time to type all the response to comments and the publish link just failed to activate. Google take note.

When I get a bit settled I promise to do my blog rounds and to update but for now just to let you know that I'm alive and well.

Have a good month everyone.

Winter Is Such A Libido Killer

Ok Scratch libido and replace it with something along the lines of 'the urge to socialise or date as it were'.

Manners, sorry guys how una dey? For those in Nija hope the sun is not biting too much. One of my dates landed in Nija a few days ago and he couldn't stop moaning about how hot it was and how he felt he'd just die. That's what happens when you leave sub zero temperature and swap it for over 32 degrees. For those of us in the West namely Yankee and Jand we know all too well how the winter this year has been so harsh. Certainly doesn't give much credence to their global warming clap trap. Talk about GW, do you know what the two-faced back stabbing British government has done again? After slamming like £20 green tax on short haul flights and £4o on long haul to make people think twice about flying they then approved a third run way for Heathrow. Now they claim to be the environmental champions of the world by introducing things like HIP packs which could make your home almost unsell-able if found short of the energy standards stipulated in the pack and also the £400 road tax slammed on so called gas guzzlers. So how does destroying 700 homes and then building a 3rd runway that would see Heathrow retain its crown as world busiest airport comply with their very own fight to save the planet by cutting their own emission. Well I'm not surprised sha, only Labour will say they'd not increase institution tuition fee only for it to go up from £1150 that year to £3000 the following year. In fact I be mumu for still believing in this government and any other government for that matter. Who invented politics sef? We need to go exhume that dude's body and kill him again 10 times over.

Sorry, manners again, so back to todays post. Remember the long epistle that was my last post where I was trying to prove hard and saying am going out there to multi date. Well it hasn't happened. E be like say God wan teach me lesson as I no dey meet dudes with cars anymore. Well that isn't God's fault really but most of those guys with cars have pot bellies and me and pot bellies no dey see eye to eye. Anyways all the guys on my radar now are tall and slim just the way I like them but no car and that just messes things up. I've been turning down lets go to the movie requests and bar requests like American Embassy refusing Nigerian's visa. The thing don tire me o and its not like am one high maintenance girl, I'm just lazy. How am I suppose to find better boyfriend if I cant be bothered to socialise? Any thoughts on this? You see I'm happy to meet up after work and such but they work at different times and that just makes it impossible. Once am home at the weekend nothing fit carry me comot house o, not in that biting cold unless of cos it's of utmost importance and e be like say socialising no dey that important level...yet.

Anyway this is a formal announcement that Parakeet cannot take any dating applications for now until summer which on a second thought defeats my purpose of having a spanking hot guy by then. What can a woman do eh? I hate this country sometimes!

Ladies Have the Right to Watch Their Backs

Hello everyone, I hope the good year started on a good note for us all. Mine has been good so far. Finally got some answers and I truly feel I can move on from some things now which lays the background to this post.

For someone who has been intermitently single for the most part of 9 months my dating tactics actually suck. Now I want to date and now I don’t want to and when I do decide to date I concentrate on just the one which often leads to me losing out completely because while am concentrating on getting to know this one guy I pay no attention to the other guys and then I end up not really liking this guy and by that time these other guys have lost interest or whatever. Being the lucky girl that I am its not too difficult finding someone else who is interested but then the cycle repeats itself and the result is the same.

So I have decided for the new year that I am gonna multi date. Did I hear people halla! Yes halla but that is the way to go after learning some harsh realities. For that guy who is currently asking me out and reading this post, sorry you’re not the only one am gonna be having drinks with or going to the movies with. You see men for a long time have always practised the 'keeping my options open' dating tactic and I don’t see why I cant or other women cant. One of the major lessons I learnt last year and that am taking with me is that love for a man is different for a woman. We just feel and act love differently and in as much as I've always wanted to believe that love is universal in feeling and in actions, I've had to just admit to myself that I have been wrong all along.

Armed with this new knowledge I'm ready to explore the dating scene. I'd have a meal with Goke, go for a walk with Ike, catch a movie with Paul and go dancing with Dapo for as long as I can carry it on without sex being involved and when I am definitely sure of what's going down with ONE then I'll take the plunge. There will always be risks so I am not saying that my new multi dating tactic will completely eliminate risks. What I intend to do is mitigate the risks as much as I can and make an informed choice before taking the plunge. Concentrating on dating one man which eventually leads to a relationship does not work for me although it took me this long for my thick brain to grasp that.

A friend of mine who is married told me this long ago but I always said to her that I coulnd't handle the distraction. You see one of the things I worry about is a man not trusting me. Taking too many calls or busy sending tons of text messages while in the company of a date always seem to me as not only disrespectful but I feel it makes you look like someone who her interests vested in too many men. You know how men's minds work. But then I am also there thinking if I don’t take this other guy's call or reply his text immediately he's gonna think I'm up to no good and not trust me. But I've since found out that making oneself too available for a man is not good in the first place. If a man is insecured enough to think that the reason your phone is off or you didn’t pick his call and reply to his text is because you're busy shacking up with another man, then you don’t need that kind of a man in your life anyway. He is going to end up making your life hell one way or the other when you guys get together so why even bother. Besides why do I care about a guy's feelings so much whether or not we are an item when he wouldn’t think twice before he stabs my own feelings.

So now its everyone to their own. If one of my multi dates gets wind of my tactics and does not like it then he's free to take a hike. Someone else will surely come along. No more would I care so much about a guy's feeling that I will compromise on getting what I want. When I finally get the ONE, I just have to hope that I have made the right choice. I'll keep you posted on my progress. Have a good one guys.

Happy New Year

I hope the year brings us all what we wish for and more.

I dont suppose I've been gone from blogville for that long yet so much has happened. Change they say is the only constant and how true. So many people have gone private like Archiwiz and Mizchif and some like Naapali and Unwritten have removed their blogs completely. Naijalines has  shiny new template that I really dig but for the life of me I cant seem to locate where to comment. I hope all is well in the homes of everyone with all these changes. I dont know whether they're positive or not but I am sure they know best.

I have been MIA myself and that's because I have been living life in a different sort of way. Life for me in the past few months has been in my head and while I have been doing a lot of brainstorming, I have also been getting physically active by clubbing. 

As usual I do not have any resolutions but I have one major target this year. I'm envisaging it will be achieved towards the last quarter of the year so I will fill you guys in on it once it has been achieved.

Some things though. 

*I am going to chase all those men that are not husband material away. I dont wanna know. Is it me or are men just becoming worse and worse. 

*I dont wanna hear any more stories about how you have a rotten marriage. You laid your bed so shall you lie on it. 

*As for the single brothers who dont know what they want, well go play the field else where. *For the seemingly good men who have good intentions but I dont like, I am sorry I just simply do not like you. I will no longer listen to your pleas about how I'll never regret marrying you or dating you. I wonder how many men a girl can marry or date. I would rather stay single than be with someone I dont like, love or what not but thankfully I wont have to do that. Hopefully. 

*I'll try not to moan too much about work anymore and just enjoy it as much as I can. 

*I'll stop accusing God of being partial and I'll pray more for my friends in need than myself.

Happy new year, happy new you!

Happy Crimbo

To all my beloved friends and well wishers in blogville, happy holidays and best wishes for 2009.

Love you all