For the Love of Tigress

See I hate this tagging thing abi how una dey call am for blogville. I am a lazy blogger and that much you guys know. I wonder why that category wasn’t on the naijabloggers award nomination list sef. I bet I would have been nominated and of cos won. Tagging is tedious and parakeet is lazy. But I love Tigress so am gonna accept the honest scrap award. I crave honesty, I give honesty for the most part but I hardly ever get it back. God is able.

Here are ten things you didn’t wish were true about me;

* I can suck my finger for Africa. Now before you scream, I dropped the baton at SS1 when I went to the hostel. Senior cant be seen sucking her finger at 13 now kai! Proper dishi. But trust me I was a pro. I could suck my finger all day and not eat anything. That was my comfort.

* I have been in love 2ce in my life and the last being of recent. I count myself lucky but shame I fell for unsuitable men.

* I gave my life to Christ on January 4 2001 but have since back slidden abi weytin be the correct word. I still love God though.

* I pray more in tongues than actual words. I can never seem to get actual words out right but I could pray in tongues for hours and hours until I fall into trans. Oh yes…trans. The few times I've had private moments I always seem to find myself in some place I cant explain and when I come to, life couldn’t be better.

* I have never seen my father but I have some memories of him, how that's possible I don’t know. Maybe in my previous life sha.

* I've had sex in a public pool. Ehn…public pool in the full glare of people in broad day light. I didn’t come though.

* People see me as an efiko but I actually never came first in school well until the last term in SS3 when everyone else was concentrating on WAEC. I then sat for my WAEC and failed Maths and English. Duh! How do you reconcile that?

* I don’t know if I wanna get married or have kids but I feel I would only do it when and if I meet the right person which I fear I may not. God help me.

* I feel like I need a shrink to unlock some of my anxieties and confront some demons but I so hate to be vulnerable that I feel am just gonna die one day with all my burden on my shoulders.

* There was a time I really fancied kissing a girl but not anymore after a horrible experience I had. Please don't ask me.

Now am passing this on to 18andabove, Kmplx, H20, AnyaPosh, Kush, Ms Sula and Mizchif and these you must do to accept your award

1.You must brag about it

2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger

3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. 4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.

5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!

And did I brag yet?…yeyeyeyeyeyeye don’t hate me cos am hotter than you.

Have a good week everyone.

First Anniversary

Yeeeeeeee, I did it albeit lazily. Clocked a year and over 50 posts in blogville. Now clap for me everyone. Its been real fun and I've made some fantastic friends virtually and even taken some into the real world. Thanks all for making this such a worthwhile experience for me and for letting me face one fact that I've refused to accept in a while. I can be complacent in a lot of ways. I secretly call myself 'daku-daji' blogger and yet am not contrite. I guess this is me and I can only just do what I can do. Hmm...I give up on myself.

I dont really have anything to post today but I just wanna share a lesson that I learned in a rather hard way. A man will do what a man will do. Forget love or commitment. Some of you may feel am taking a hardline on the matter but the truth is that men are just men. They make decisions devoid of emotions. They look at practicalities, what will work for them and what wont. If you are that woman who just happens to be in their life at a wrong time, no matter how much they profess love, they're still going to do what they are going to do, mostly without you in the grand scheme of things. Some sisters know this already but for those who dont please take note. Do everything for yourself. Let a man meet you where you are happy to me be met. Dont tailor your life and decisions to sync into the life of your SO well until he actually makes you his wife.

Where did all these come from? I had long suspected this was the case but love no dey gree me see road, lol. However watching the Nigerian movie Reloaded just confirmed all my suspicions. One of the characters played excellently by Stephanie Okereke dedicated 7yrs of her life to a man, had six abortions for him and yet he simply refused to marry her claiming he didnt have the means to support a family. Yet he goes out there and impregnates another woman whom he promptly made preparations to marry. This movie is a must see for all women because it's loaded with vital lessons one must take through the whole dating game and even into marriage.

I leave you with peace and love.

Friends or Men, Which Way To Go?

I just wanna rant about my friend o. We went raving and I met this fine brother who is a friend to my friend's brother in law. For the sake of brevity lets call my friend Sheila and the fine brother Lee. Lee is not exactly a drop dead gorgeous guy but he exudes the sort of sexiness that is rare to come by these days. As I have decided to remain single, I didn't really give him face but we got on fine during the night. Before we parted ways he asked for my number which I gave him. In the car with Sheila and the rest of the crew, she says to me "Parakeet be careful what pictures go on facebook". Am like "why"? She says "oh cos Lee has a girlfriend". I just wondered where that came from cos I didn't even take a picture of Lee and even if I did, having a girlfriend doesn't mean a guy cant be seen in pictures with other people on a night out. Then she breaks into my thoughts and announces that "Lee is a player, he's got too many girls" blabla and I was wondering what the need for that was but then I kept shut. I knew something was up right there.

Anyhoos Lee didn't call me until 3 days after our meeting. I couldn't speak then so I asked him to email me instead and he sends me one dumb email saying he just wanted to say hi. I replied with 'am fine' and that was the end of our email exchange. Sheila calls me later at night and we gossiped as usual about men then I quipped in that Lee called me and stuff. Next thing is she says to me is that "seriously Lee is trouble stay away''. I told her nothing is up with me and Lee and I dont intend for anything to happen but even if I was him being a bad boy wouldn't deter me. I also told her I've noted what she said and will put it in mind. She said ok and we went on to talk about something else. 

The next day she calls me again this time all very serious and went into a barrage of why I should really stay away from Lee and she told me that he uses women and stuff. Again I told her I appreciate her concern but that there was nothing to me and Lee and even if there was going to be I am capable of taking care of myself. She didnt seem to like this. She took offence and we ended the conversation on a very bad note. A few hours later, my phone rings and it was Lee saying he didnt want some pple disrespecting him cos he simply talked to me. Turns out Sheila had told her sister who of cos is married to Lee's friend and her sister had called Lee to warn him to steer clear of me. 

I just dont understand what the whole thing is about. I know there's more to it than what Sheila told me but then if Lee was such a bad person it concerns me that they continue to hang out with him and I told Sheila as much. Also I don't feel Sheila has the right to command me to stay off Lee because I'm an adult and I can damn well do what I like. She can advise me as a true friend and then lend me a shoulder to cry on when it all blows up in my face but instead she has chosen not to talk to me anymore cos I wouldn't listen to her. This is suppose to be a friendship not a tyranny. And now the bad girl in me is really curious about this bad boy called Lee.

Dear blogville what do you suppose happened between Sheila and Lee that she's so adamant I must stay off him? I must add though that both parties deny ever having a relationship or anything sexual. So what is up really? Any thoughts?

Courting Disaster

I saw him for the first time when he brought his friend to mine. Introductions were made and from then on I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. As we were chatting away in the car I studied his side frame. Unlike most men he lacked side burns just the way I liked it. His skin was dark and smooth as that of a black panther. As if he knew I was looking at him he looked at me too and I was instantly drawn into his penetrating gaze. I noticed his eyelashes then, longer and fuller than that of Barbie. His delicate features drew me even more to him and I must have lost my trail of thought for a second there. Long and short of it was that I was staring at a very beautiful man and I fell in love at first sight.

I knew he was a no go for me because his friend was interested in me and they must have had their 'boy talk' about me but I still let him creep into my heart. I let my guard down when his first text came. Just when I though I had committed my attraction for him into oblivion, his text came and dredged up all those buried feelings. They came in just as rapidly as my replies and my heart never stopped its fast and thunderous beating neither did my anticipation for his replies wither. There marked the beginning of a beautiful relationship or so I thought.

The months that followed were beautiful and happy. I had a reason to wake up and to smile. He touched every angle of my heart and soul with his words and actions. He loved me like a woman should be loved and made me feel things I thought was impossible. Things moved on at a speed and it felt like we'd been together for years then came the bombshell. He is married. I should have known, single men don't come that complete and totally besotted to you. I should have seen this from afar but then I was too loved up to see. Even then common sense didn't kick in because I was too wrapped up in love to think straight. I knew I was doing something terrible but I couldn’t bring myself to let go. I loved this man and I just cant walk away not after all we'd shared. Yes it was only for about 3 or 4 months but those were the best period in my life in recent times. Love is a bad bad thing. I am not sure I want it to happen to me anymore.

As you would guess the honeymoon period was gradually nearing its end. He has to baby sit, go to the airport, do things at home. Things I couldn't share with him. His other life came first now. The times we saw lessened then I started to drift back into reality. Once again I am with the wrong man. A man that I loved truly but a man who could never be totally mine. I tried once, twice and then some more to get rid of him but I always went back. I had to try one more time and this time I had to be mean to him, make him hate me and hopefully he'd leave me alone for good since I can't seem to do it myself. I said mean things to him. Things that made him doubt I ever loved him. Things that really hurt him and perhaps shattered his ego. Then I committed him to the history books. I am still alive and breathing and went on to have a few more disastrous relationships.

Have a great week everyone.