Sunday, 8 March 2009

Friends or Men, Which Way To Go?

I just wanna rant about my friend o. We went raving and I met this fine brother who is a friend to my friend's brother in law. For the sake of brevity lets call my friend Sheila and the fine brother Lee. Lee is not exactly a drop dead gorgeous guy but he exudes the sort of sexiness that is rare to come by these days. As I have decided to remain single, I didn't really give him face but we got on fine during the night. Before we parted ways he asked for my number which I gave him. In the car with Sheila and the rest of the crew, she says to me "Parakeet be careful what pictures go on facebook". Am like "why"? She says "oh cos Lee has a girlfriend". I just wondered where that came from cos I didn't even take a picture of Lee and even if I did, having a girlfriend doesn't mean a guy cant be seen in pictures with other people on a night out. Then she breaks into my thoughts and announces that "Lee is a player, he's got too many girls" blabla and I was wondering what the need for that was but then I kept shut. I knew something was up right there.

Anyhoos Lee didn't call me until 3 days after our meeting. I couldn't speak then so I asked him to email me instead and he sends me one dumb email saying he just wanted to say hi. I replied with 'am fine' and that was the end of our email exchange. Sheila calls me later at night and we gossiped as usual about men then I quipped in that Lee called me and stuff. Next thing is she says to me is that "seriously Lee is trouble stay away''. I told her nothing is up with me and Lee and I dont intend for anything to happen but even if I was him being a bad boy wouldn't deter me. I also told her I've noted what she said and will put it in mind. She said ok and we went on to talk about something else. 

The next day she calls me again this time all very serious and went into a barrage of why I should really stay away from Lee and she told me that he uses women and stuff. Again I told her I appreciate her concern but that there was nothing to me and Lee and even if there was going to be I am capable of taking care of myself. She didnt seem to like this. She took offence and we ended the conversation on a very bad note. A few hours later, my phone rings and it was Lee saying he didnt want some pple disrespecting him cos he simply talked to me. Turns out Sheila had told her sister who of cos is married to Lee's friend and her sister had called Lee to warn him to steer clear of me. 

I just dont understand what the whole thing is about. I know there's more to it than what Sheila told me but then if Lee was such a bad person it concerns me that they continue to hang out with him and I told Sheila as much. Also I don't feel Sheila has the right to command me to stay off Lee because I'm an adult and I can damn well do what I like. She can advise me as a true friend and then lend me a shoulder to cry on when it all blows up in my face but instead she has chosen not to talk to me anymore cos I wouldn't listen to her. This is suppose to be a friendship not a tyranny. And now the bad girl in me is really curious about this bad boy called Lee.

Dear blogville what do you suppose happened between Sheila and Lee that she's so adamant I must stay off him? I must add though that both parties deny ever having a relationship or anything sexual. So what is up really? Any thoughts?


Writefreak said...

Feels good to be first!

I won't say i know what might have gone down and i don't think Sheila's attitude is right...maybe she has a crush on him?

I'd just say be careful and look before you leap if you want to leap...

Friends shouldn't force their opinion on us, they advise, you take it if you want or leave it!

Writefreak said...

Ok i forgot there's comment moderation so maybe i'm not first afterall...parakeet you need to remove this moderation thingy jare!

Writefreak said...

Yay! i was actually first, something is wrong with me this evening, i never get excited about being first to
How're you doing dear?

Danny B said...

guess writefreak has touched upon the two possibilities -- either there's a lot that's not being aid, or sheila has the hots for the dude and needs to scare off the opposition... and i agree the comment moderation thingy sucks!!!

Writefreak said...

Yay! i was actually first, something is wrong with me this evening, i never get excited about being first to
How're you doing dear?

Jayla. said...

either sheila really likes the guy or they were about to have something and it ended b4 it even begun.

I had a 'friend' write me 4 pages of A4 on reasons why i shouldn't date someone i wanted to.

Writefreak said...

By the way, i just remembered, when my husband first asked me out in my year 3 in uni (he was also a student), my friend who shared my bedspace told me she didn't like him and a number of friends who of course i didn't listen to were against our relationship for no good reason...i have nothing against being single but i guess it's interesting to know they're still single in their 30s..i wonder how it'd have turned out if i'd listened to them cos i am having the best of time in my marriage..

If they had genuine concerns of course, i'd have listened!

Writefreak said...

By the way, i just remembered, when my husband first asked me out in my year 3 in uni (he was also a student), my friend who shared my bedspace told me she didn't like him and a number of friends who of course i didn't listen to were against our relationship for no good reason...i have nothing against being single but i guess it's interesting to know they're still single in their 30s..i wonder how it'd have turned out if i'd listened to them cos i am having the best of time in my marriage..

If they had genuine concerns of course, i'd have listened!

Afrobabe said...


Me thinks she wants him or she has been dumped by him..

Anyway to preserve your friendship with her...Just give me his number...I will go on a date with him and comfort him....errrm you did say he needed comforting didn't you??

Afrobabe said...

wow...writefreak makes me want to call every guy I have ever dated (none, I be virgin) that my friends didn't like...

ok, no need cos I never took heed anyway...

Writefreak said...

Afrobabe, you're crazy! lol

RocNaija said...

Lol @ ‘Comforter-in-chief’
Sounds like there’s more to it than meets the eye..
Problem is it’ll be a struggle for you to find out the truth from either party concerned..
So it’s either a case of stepping into the unknown with her words ringing in your ear.. OR.... following Afro's advice.. :)

Last post by RocNaija - Ask Anini about stealing?!

Funms-the rebirth said...

something is definitely up. I think Sheila likes him and lee is not giving her any face. if it were me, i'd keep talking to Lee and just to spite Sheila, i will always tell her about when we talk and what not. but as ur not a bad friend, ask her what r exact issues are and maybe tease her about him......... or rather ask lee

ShonaVixen said...

Unrequited love maybe?Some serious sexual tension never explored? Friends can only advice they shouldn't expect us to be want they want us to to be on the safe side of both either Afro or myself gets the number coz u did say that he exudes sexiness right??

Anonymous said...

"Any thoughts?" No, none at the moment. Short of which, that is precisely what you are to go find out.

Nice Anon said...

It isn't worth the drama. She is spiteful towards him because of something. She is your friend so try to talk it over with her. Talking to Lee isn't going to do anything other than to make the situation worse. Try and make up with her

ibiluv said...

i never listen if i'm interested in a guy

so if i had a friend like sheila she would know........i never listen

i smell a rat-not sure which type

Tigeress said...

This is a no brainer. Even if Sheila fancies the pants off him or there is history btw them- remember Sheila is your friend- don't let a man come btw you two. Plus if ur friend(s) have said he has gf- no need to entertain him- abi? So u might want to put that bad girl side of you in check.

Plus the way she's reacting- i really dont see it as odd cos if she's truely ur friend and cares about u- i'll expect her to naturally protect you.

Now even tho they are hanging out with Lee- remember that none of them is dating Lee. A guy can be a good friend but a horrible lover/bf. Frienship and relationship are 2 totally different things.

mizchif said...

I seriously think there's something Sheila isn't saying.And instead of acting catty, she should just say it!

I know if i were in your position, my curiosity wld definitely be piqued tho.

Anonymous said...

hmmmm... am now curious as to why you are now curious about this bad boy lee... maybe she is just being protective.
some of my friends get annoyed when i don't "hear", but that's just them. they know it, i know it. but it doesn't stop us from going at it. and maybe she just got a bad gut instinct about it. i think give her benefit of doubt. even if she's feeling him, you said yourself you are not seeing anyone so it really shouldn't matter abi?
either way time will tell, so just do you.

Uzezi said...

that chick wants the bad boy who obviously isn't giving her the time of day. Just be you and do what you heart or head rather tells you to

Zena said...

I guess Writerfreak and everybody else has said it,

She probably slept with him and he dogged her or she likes him, how can somebody get angry because you talked to a person? not like you called him back and you guys have been on the phone non-stop or ur proceeding with the relationship

Just be careful I guess and we all know bad boys don't do us any good most of the times

Rita said...

While I believe there is usually no smoke without fire, Sheila is taking this thing too personal. That would only mean she has something at stake:
1. She likes him and has not told him
2. Something flimsy has happened between two of them leaving one or both parties hurt subconsciously
3. He has hurt someone very dear to her (like sister or best friend) and it pained her so much

Because I know people change, I usually give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance despite what others say. I'm sure from your first meeting with him you will be able to tell what kind of guy he is with 60% accuracy. Does that match with what Sheila is talking about?

I think this whole thing is getting complicated and it is high time they start saying the truth. We can only speculate.

I know you must be hurt by the way Sheila is taking things but if there is a way of mending your relationship with her, please do so on time.

Take care dear...

wordmerchant said...

i was going to say maybe she is concerned for you but it seems she is way too concerned. It may be nothing but perhaps neither party are telling you the whole gist. The bottom line is ...she is your friend not your keeper. If you wanna fiddle Lee..girl go on and fiddle to your hearts content.

Parakeet said...

@Writefreak…Thanks o. Na she soko, at the end of the day its my prerogative. And lol at ur excitement of being first. Am fine darling thanks.
@Danny…Hmm ok, cos I like your name I’ll look into the comment moderation thing
@Jayla…you need to share that 4page reasons with us o
@Writefreak…now am getting really tempted after reading that story of you and your hussy.
@Afrobabe…no be you?
@Roc…hmm, I no go follow Afro advice, no be only she like better thing.
@Funms…I did try to ask her o but she accused me of playing game. I was so vexed that I had to hang the phone on her. Lee swears they never had a thing neither did they almost.
@Shona…sexual tension, now am even more curious. Hands of my man o you and Afro, lol!
@Nice Anon…me thinks we made up already cos I heard she almost died and I had to call her to make sure she was ok. Thing is if am gonna get down with Lee it’ll be hard to remain friends with her cos she’s never gonna approve and I want to be free enough to discuss my boyfriend with someone I call a friend. Anyway make I never think far. Lee and I may not happen.
@Ibiluv…maybe Lee is the rat here. Ah-hem!
@Tigress…I hear you sis but frankly I do not approve of Sheila’s handling of the matter. Its too extreme as far as am concerned but yeah I suppose towo bad girl baso.
@Mizchif…abi o
@Kmplx…you’re right but I never what me is now so will just let things take their natural course. But if am being honest I don’t wanna go there. Its just a shame that Sheila may end up thinking she got through to me and I so don’t want that to happen. She may take liberties for the future.
@Uzezi…why do we girls like bad boy sef?
@Zena…yes o bad boys are real bad news
@Rita…you’re right, its always good to give someone the benefit of the doubt but we’ll see
@Wordmerchant…exactly what I think too, her concern is too extreme. So she make I fiddle?

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

I like to leave my comment before reading all the other comments so apologises if im parroting whats already been said. She probably has a crash on him and resents that you got a 'leg in' so quickly yet she has been loitering around him probably for years and he didnt 'notice her'. She needs to back off though coz she has already warned you and you are old enough to make and learn from your own mistakes.

Qube The Wordsmith said...

Well I'd say just mess wiv her brain a lil...u knw dude's already spoken 4 so anytin u do is @ ur own risk. But Sheila MUS spill wats eatin her cos all dat "I'm ur friend dats y I'm buggin" crap?

Bibi said...

oh pish posh. the very same thing happened to me or kinda similar though. my friend's dating this guy and i met on of his friends. we got talking and one day he asked me out on a date. i gossiped to my friend about it and she "adviced" me to stay away from him and in her exact words, "call him right now and cancel". i told her that it was just a date not marriage and she kept insisting. i told her to back up. i have no idea what brings on this sort of behavior but its just better to open your eyes wide open before you jump into anything with BOTH of them. first timer but i will be back

Buttercup said...

its quite apparent that she has a thing for him....maybe she wanted him and he didnt feel the same way so she doesnt want u having him..

Padosh said...

Hahaha, Maybe the babe actually has a small crush on Lee.
All this drama for man u havent even kissed least of all shagged.
Im almost tempted to tell you to shag away!!!! lol

LusciousRon said...

Something is definitely going on. Be careful

wordmerchant said...

Girl fiddle away..infact play him a nice sultry tune :)

Sexkitten said...

Sheila's attitude is bizzare. She may have a crush and wants him for herself.

Then again...
She may know something about him that she feels you should know but doesn't feel that it's her place to tell you.

Either way, I would tread lightly. Be well.

doll said...

My take is either he is really trouble and she luvs you enough to warn you or she fancies him herself

Either ways If he is already causing this much trouble btw u & ur friend you might just stay off.

No guy is worth a headache.. particularly one that takes 3 days to call

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Nice post babygurl, i am a fan of your now lol.

Smaragd said...

hey! what happened to my comment?!!!! *bawls*

Parakeet said...

@MDM…I so agree with your point. She really needs to back off
@Qube…hahaha, baddo. I like that style. Toy with her a bit and drive her nuts
@Bibi…Thanks for your comment. I guess it all about being alert like you said.
@Buttercup…sure. Well it ain't my fault that he no gree give am face now. Lol.
@Padosh…hmm, you am vexing with you o. You decided to go private abi?
@Luscious…thanks love.
@Word…fiddle da diddle. Me hear you.
@Sexkitten…loving that name. I guess we'll never know wassup until one test the waters.
@Doll…I hear you but I like trouble, really I do, lol.
@BossMack…oh really? Cheers.
@Sma…which comment? Looks like blogger messed with you my sis.

Confessions of a London gal said...

Women and our drama! Tis only too obvious they aint telling u sum'tn, especially as ur friend now has ur no on speed dial and calls u everytime to warn u off the guy.
Relationships have enough drama jare, u dont need to get into one that's obviously gonna be like 'Fuji house of Commotion'!

aloted said...

i know this is coming very late...and the only reason i am commenting is because something similar happened to my friend. this guy was asking her out and she told me...i know this guy from the past and he had dated another friend in school and made a mess of her really hurt her and we her friends cant stand the guy...

when my current friend told me about this guy i warned her seriousily..the same way sheila appears to be warning u...the only thing is in my case i told my friend why i wanted her to steer clear...and i was very very adamant about it...he might have changed, only God knows but i am glad she said no to him

anyway point is i am with tigeress sheila prolly is just been protective in her own way

lastly thanks for asking after my dad..he is better now...he wasnt ill, he was shot my armed robbers.