Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Courting Disaster

I saw him for the first time when he brought his friend to mine. Introductions were made and from then on I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. As we were chatting away in the car I studied his side frame. Unlike most men he lacked side burns just the way I liked it. His skin was dark and smooth as that of a black panther. As if he knew I was looking at him he looked at me too and I was instantly drawn into his penetrating gaze. I noticed his eyelashes then, longer and fuller than that of Barbie. His delicate features drew me even more to him and I must have lost my trail of thought for a second there. Long and short of it was that I was staring at a very beautiful man and I fell in love at first sight.

I knew he was a no go for me because his friend was interested in me and they must have had their 'boy talk' about me but I still let him creep into my heart. I let my guard down when his first text came. Just when I though I had committed my attraction for him into oblivion, his text came and dredged up all those buried feelings. They came in just as rapidly as my replies and my heart never stopped its fast and thunderous beating neither did my anticipation for his replies wither. There marked the beginning of a beautiful relationship or so I thought.

The months that followed were beautiful and happy. I had a reason to wake up and to smile. He touched every angle of my heart and soul with his words and actions. He loved me like a woman should be loved and made me feel things I thought was impossible. Things moved on at a speed and it felt like we'd been together for years then came the bombshell. He is married. I should have known, single men don't come that complete and totally besotted to you. I should have seen this from afar but then I was too loved up to see. Even then common sense didn't kick in because I was too wrapped up in love to think straight. I knew I was doing something terrible but I couldn’t bring myself to let go. I loved this man and I just cant walk away not after all we'd shared. Yes it was only for about 3 or 4 months but those were the best period in my life in recent times. Love is a bad bad thing. I am not sure I want it to happen to me anymore.

As you would guess the honeymoon period was gradually nearing its end. He has to baby sit, go to the airport, do things at home. Things I couldn't share with him. His other life came first now. The times we saw lessened then I started to drift back into reality. Once again I am with the wrong man. A man that I loved truly but a man who could never be totally mine. I tried once, twice and then some more to get rid of him but I always went back. I had to try one more time and this time I had to be mean to him, make him hate me and hopefully he'd leave me alone for good since I can't seem to do it myself. I said mean things to him. Things that made him doubt I ever loved him. Things that really hurt him and perhaps shattered his ego. Then I committed him to the history books. I am still alive and breathing and went on to have a few more disastrous relationships.

Have a great week everyone.

33 comments:

Dabizniz said...

Hmmm Ironic though that if he tried doing those nice things to his wifey maybe the urge to look outside would not be there..

I am glad you did not try fighting for him..

Hope you have moved on

Parakeet said...

Oh yea...this happened a few years back actually.

kmplx said...

:O daaaaaaaang... that definately woke me up from my morning brain-fog. that kind pain... woman i feel you... amen to letting it all go!

Parakeet said...

@kmplx...honestly you dont wanna imagine the pain. No woman should ever go through that.

wordmerchant said...

Aaaah all that heartache..i feel you girl. Its almost physical pain..i tell people that and they laugh thinking i am crazy..the hurting is real. Glad its history..in the past.

Missed ya gurl...no more going on hiatus.

Parakeet said...

@Wordmerchant...the pain is real. I wonder how something as abstract as love could cause so much havoc. Na wa o. Gurl am trying to make a bit more effort with this blogging thing jare. At least I've finally moved now so no more excuse.

How u dey sis?

RocNaija said...

Once again.. Words spoken from the heart by The Parakeet..
I guess love can be a 'bad bad thing' or a 'good great thing' depending on what point you are in life when cupid's arrow strikes..
Welcome back..

Parakeet said...

@Roc...well if love is constrained by time, circumstances, money or any other factors, can we actually call it love? I doubt.

Hope you're good dear one.

SHE said...

Like you must have found out by now, time heals all wounds.

You do avoid such 'mistakes' now, don't you?

QMoney said...

am thinking stuff like dis can be handled better if i imagine same happening to me as per imagine sum1 was in love with my husband,i try to deal with things dat way and it helps most times...thank God it happend ages ago.
how r ya?

doll said...

hmm..glad you let it go

Zena said...

I'm happy that was in the past and hopefully you haven't given up on love.

H2O-works said...

Oh Parakeet...Im sorry u had to bear such pain...It's sad to hear stories of men leading women on like that, it just gives us a bad rep...Im glad u did wat u did, as painful as it must have been, but please don't give up on love, cos love never gives up on u.

With that said, once again ur writing is fluid and beautiful...thumbs up :)

Funms-the rebirth said...

aww dearie, u had to be heartbroken.... but im glad ur stronger and u didnt hold on..........
im just trying to let go of my own heartache and im getting there......i hope?

Ms Sula said...

Experiences are experiences because they make us learn about ourselves and the world around us.

The good that comes out of a mistake is that now we can identify when we're in the same situation.

I am glad you were able to work through this and that you learned the valuable lessons needed.

Danny B said...

Guess eventually "commonsense" evenatually prevailed.. Took a lot of discipline from you to let it go.. but u did the right thing......Could have led to a lot of "collateral damage" on all sides....

Padosh said...

Wow...,i felt your pain almost like it was mine.
How long did it take before you were finally able to say you were over him??

I dont even wish my enemy that kinda pain...., Im happy you survived it stronger and wiser and more beautiful.

Tigeress said...

Eeemmm.......love? doesn't sound like love to me darling. Sounds more of an attraction/ lust..."His skin was dark and smooth as that of a black panther." And it definitely wasn't becos of his personality that you 'fell in love' with him. What guy who is married with baby will double cross his single friend and hook up with a babe his friend fancied? Dude sound ugly as hell!

Good that u walked away without making a fuss or causing drama. I'm not one to judge lasdies who date married men as long as the single babe doesnt get retarded and start acting up- expecting the dude to leave his wife and kids for him. Or when they start treating the married man as a bf- PDA'ing or going to public places together.

If men can have their cake and eat at the same time- they will. So tell him to bugger off for good. You are worth more than a secret side attraction. You deserve to be wife and mother just like his wife. :)

Buttercup said...

damn..why the hell do such things happen????

thank God u've moved on..i really do hope n pray u find a man who's all u want n more....n who's also VERY SINGLE!!!!

ShonaVixen said...

I'm just glad you walked out of there!!!and hon see u soon xxxx

LusciousRon said...

I am happy it was a few years ago. Time does heal wounds. We are just left with the scars. Don't give up on love.

Goodluck!

Afrobabe said...

Oh girl, this post really hurt...of course we have all been there...infact remember a funny one that happened in ikeja, will blog about it some day..

let him go girl, he will never leave her and if he does you will never trust him...but kai, ur description of him made me weak...since I am an acclaimed bad girl can I have a go??? Promise not to show you how happy I get...lol

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Good that this is a mistake from your past. It just is never fair when men do not share that they are married or committed to someone else before making a woman have feelings for them. Just read a story from favoured Girlon Facebook that ha dsome hints of this. This stuff is far too common.

How you dey?

NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...

Parakeet said...

@She…Well I try to but there are no hard and fast rules about these things.
@Qmoney…Long time. Omo if someone was in love with my husband e no go easy o. Am ffine darling.
@Doll…thanks.
@Zena…I wonder if anyone can really give up on love. It just takes you by surprise and you have to give in to it.
@H2O…thanks, darling. There was the future to look forward to with hope.
@Funms…All will be well. The early days seem really hard like you will not get to the next day but you will and some too and then one day you’ll just wonder. Keep safe sis.
@Ms Sula…I do admire your wisdom.
@Danny…na real collateral damage. Trust me am not that disciplined. A work in progress I am
@Padosh…sis it took a while I no go lie you. I tried all sort like trying to see other men but it didn’t work until I put my foot down
@Tigress…bare truth. I dey fear you o but I love you.
@Buttercup…thanks and amen
@Shona…thanks babes. See you soon.
@Luscious…I dare not give up on love. All na shakara. Lol.
@Afro…acclaimed bad girl, I go look for im number give you.
@Solomonsydelle…Abi o. God will save us.

bumight said...

i flinched when i got to the married part...i'm happy that it was in the past...but dude knew he was married before making u trip, schew!

Writefreak said...

I'm glad you were able to get the will to break it off with him
Dude should go shower his wife with the attention!
Wait o, didn't he have a wedding band on?

StandTall-The Activist said...

You are my tough lady and I know you will put this behind you and move on...

Rita said...

"single men don't come that complete and totally besotted to you..." some do...

Gosh! This must have really really hurt you! But you will need to let go so that fresh real love would come into your heart...

Take care...

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Love is only a good thing
If it is two sided
I learnt that a long time ago
it doesnt matter even if the guy is single
if its not two sided the end result is always a broken heart.
never mind the 1000 disasterous relationship
all you will need is just one perfect one, just one to live happily ever after (or more realistically 'try' to live happily ever after)

Smaragd said...

married men and the hearts they break!

u moved? to naija i hope *wink* u once said u were moving home.

Smaragd said...

i just left ur comment at rayo's! silly me...lol

well what i said was:

"married men and the hearts they break!"

hope ur moving was back to naija as u once said babe... *wink*

Parakeet said...

@Writefreak…wedding band ke? How many happily married men these days still wear their bands, let alone the unhappy ones. The prayer be say make God help unknowing sisters like us.
@Standtall…thanks me dear. Its all behind me now. God is faithful.
@Rita…am trying to. Waiting for God to take total control
@MDM…long time sis. Hope you ok? You’re so right. Love is a two way street.
@Sma…Still in the offing. I shall be calling on you soon. How u dey? Long time.

Writefreak said...

Ah a lot of men i know wear their bands o...or is it the people i know? Even the players do, i think!