The Long Weekend is Over

Where did it go? I remember I was looking forward to my long weekend which started at 12:30pm on Wednesday with so much excitement and a mental note of all I was going to do. After work that Wednesday I went to see a dear friend whom I used to work with. The bobo is now a big boy having finished his PHD and gone to work for Shell. He was in London for 2 weeks for training and was lodged at the Radisson. Even though I had known him for just over 2 years I consider him a confidante cos he gat so much sense on him and he's a good listener. He once told me that his wife didnt like me because she felt that he fancied me which I found absurd but I guess the wife get hindsight o. When I got to his hotel room the guy confessed to liking me all along and now he was feeling mushy mushy as he termed it. I just carried my bag and left. He was the last friend I had who hadn't asked me , married or not. So my people I've given up on having guys as friends. They cant tell the difference. At least most.

Thursday came o...what did I do?. Cant even remember. Oh...I was at home but had a pleasant surprise. I wont spill on that. I also went on a few errands. So that was Thursday gone without nothing eventful happening. Friday too was much the same except that a friend who wanted me to write him a song came to visit. Am rooting for him to get on the X-Factor, hopefully I will have one very  famous friend in the near future. The highlight of his visit too was that he wanted to have his wicked way with me. And he used to be very close to my first love. I say ehn, men tire me, maybe na me get something for body. Who knows? But I managed to convince him there could never be me and him. He took it real hard but who cares.

Friday continued to be a weird day cos of my funny oyinbo neighbour. I went to the grocery store to get something and saw the man driving past and I gave him the typical oyinbo eye service smile. Am sure y'all know that smile wey no dey reach belle. I couldn't find what I was looking for and decided to take the bus and go further down to look for it. What I didnt know was that this man was following my bus. Let me give you the man's history. The guy is married to some Cameroonian woman and they have a daughter together. They live just two doors away from ours with the woman's two older son and daughter whom have since moved out. I dont talk to any of them except for the older daughter, Abi when she used to lived there. In fact the girl just forced herself on me that was how we got talking. One day my friend came over and we were putting some 'for sale' posters on her car and this man saw us. He instantly liked my friend cos I saw the lascivious look he was giving her. The man then said hi to me and told me he liked my friend but I said she was married and he was like oh and quickly went inside. From then on when we see each other we tend to say a kurt hi and that's it.

So me smiling at him driving the other day was my usual courtesy only the man read it wrong and followed me in his Mercedes SEL. When I got off the bus and I saw the man, I was shell shocked. He rolled down his glass and I asked him what he wanted and why he followed the bus, and he said because I smiled at him "in a different way". Shuo, see me see trouble o. From where to where? Anyway I told him I was not interested in him and sent him on his way. The guy felt like a fool and said "keep this our little secret". As if...which secret? Yeye fool. In fact now am thinking may be he shagged his step daughter that was why she was chased out of the house cos the circumstances in which Abi left the house was shady. Middle of the night kinda yawa!

Saturday came o and I didnt do anything much but went dancing at night. I burnt my beloved blouse so that fouled my mood before I left home and I and my friends got lost making matters worse. I got to the said club and instead of finding cute looking guys na so so women full there. It was like they were selling them there...real bevy of beautiful ladies. My eyes dropped and jumped back into their sockets. I tot I was looking hot in my killer shorts and Steve Madden heels but  I saw cleavages and died! Anyway the night was a drag sha cos I couldnt find any blokes to flirt with in my usual club style. I just had a spitzer, danced a bit and headed back to my cold bed. 

Sunday I woke up with killer headache. Missed church and just laid there on my bed chatting to my numerous internet friends. My headache really handicapped me cos I had two invitations to go out which I had to turn down. So it ended up a drag just like today is ending up. Bank holiday Monday no work but marooned in the house cos of horrible weather. Chatting to some moronic guys who cant stop talking about sex and there's my long weekend gone down the loo. Gosh! there's got to be more to life than this.

Anyways my peoples, have a lovely week.

Tagged

Lolu tagged me which is not funny but anyways since the dust of my previous posts has died down, I can share 6 of my idiosyncrasies. Not so fast...am tagging Abbie, Babz and Oracle.

Just follow the rules below

Rules:
1. Link the person/people who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Mention six(6) spectacular quirks of urs
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by adding their links
5. Let each of the tagged bloggers know they've been tagged..via their blogs

Now my answers;

1. I hate being asked out..shege! Its so hard telling unrelenting men why they are not good enough for you. The whys never stop. If you say you're not ready, they will ask why, if you say its not yet time, they will ask why, if you say you dont like them, why. Why , why, why until heaven falls. Spare me abeg!

2. I think I have a mild form of OCD…am obessed with arrangements. When I go shopping and buy sweetcorn or anything in a tie sha..I spend the next 30 minutes or so arranging them so that they are all facing the same place and are sitting right on top of each other.

3. Damp towels give me the creeps. I will only share a partner's towel if am convinced its just been washed and I get to use it first.

4. I like to fondle my nipple while lying naked on my bed. Funny thing is it does nothing for me. I normally do that when there’s something deep I am thinking about…weird?

5. The other thing I do naked or at least semi-naked is to dance around in my room usually to 80s hits. I don’t have a clue why I do this, but I do anyways , usually on Saturday mornings.

6. Damn I hate people eating out loudly or sucking on something aloud…kai, it pisses me off. My mum does it and it annoys the shit outta me! My ex does it too so am glad I got rid of him…lol!

Today's Post

I want to rant about Facebook. Yea yea, I know am prolly gonna step on a few toes but who cares. I love FB but that place is driving me off the wall. What's it with men sef? Guys I've not seen since primary school now feel the need to profess undying love they harboured for me when I never even get breast...what can fa? I say the thing dey vex me. While am happy to hook up with old friends, colleagues and mates, I dont want to know how your girlfriend lives in Hong Kong and how you suck at long distance, so am suppose to be make shift girlfriend ehn? All these guys just wanna get laid and they think they can use emotional blackmail for moi!

Also, why e be say the word fiance nor dey fear men again. Tell a guy you're hooked and you're digging even a deeper hole for yourself. Folks dont even have respect for each other anymore. The bible's says thou shalt not covet they neighbour's wife...or goods...oginni? Abeg guys there are many fishes in the ocean, leave the taken ones alone.

Finally, my nija men! I know y'all are brave and can even talk to the dead body of Marilyn monroe but una nor dey look face? E be like say unapproachable no dey una dico. Its not all the time you see a fine girl that you have to chat her up (yes, I know am a fine girl and am saying that with all EMPHASIS!...lol). See you have to be tactical about these things. Choose a time and place. Dont try and chat me up while am running up the escalator trying to catch the Jubilee line, you want make I lose my fine teeth. These days I have to rely on my very humble iPod shuffle. Once I see nija men gathered and their eyes darting about, I just stick it on cos I know the next thing am gonna hear is whistles. Haba, abeg leave nija connection in Nija...this is jand!

Am Back!

Yea...I know that sounds so cliche but you will forgive me...I'm a bit rusty in being creative with words now after spending the last month battling my dissertation. Well I finally gave it in last Thursday but had two more course works to battle. They were both completed yesterday and I give them in on wednesday...I eagerly await my first class in Jesus name.

I apologise for my bad manners...I should have said hello to all you beautiful bloggers first. H-E-L-L-O! Hope y'all been okay and been having fun. To all those who are in locations where there's been winter, hope you're enjoying the summer that is being ushered in. And for those who are in incessant sunshine...na una dey enjoy...just dont burn!

I've spent the last week being indoors so I've not been able to enjoy he 26 degrees sunshine in London yet. Am ready to step out this week hopefully I can still catch some of it. Is any of you girls thinking of going shopping for summer yet? I'm rearing to go.

Ah...a lot has happened to me since I've been gone o. The likes of Afrobabe will know. I've got so much I want to write about but I'll take them one at a time. I have a few stops to do at my favorites blogs first. 

Aww...it feels so good to be back. Am rubbing my palms together and smiling sheepishly now...Y-E-L-L-Y!

I'll be Missing in Action

Hello everyone I hope we all had a great weekend. How do I start this. Okay, I have felt really welcome to blogville and I've been really enjoying myself. However I do have more pressing things I need to attend to right now. I have just 4 weeks to complete my degree and in the middle of writing my dissertation so my plate is full at the moment. It will really be tight making time to write and read blogs within this period so I have decided to suspend all blogging activities until the 18th of May.

Obviously I cant rule out the occassional peeking through my favorite blogs cos I think I am addicted already but that will be it. I am really gonna miss you all and I hope by the time am back there will be some juicy readings to catch up on. Good luck with everything and see you guys soon.
Tara!

...And the Earth Moved

I saw you first
I was waiting on the platform
You were alighting from the train
Our eyes met
My heart froze

It was a daily occurrence from then on
I purposely stay on the same platform
Just to catch a glimpse of you  
And a glimpse of you I did catch

My heart does a skip
Every time my gaze behold yours
I wonder if you feel the same
Oblivious of the multitude of people around us
I could feel the warm fuzzy feeling coursing through my body

My courage fails me
But I long for you to say hi
Wondering if you notice me at all
Wondering if you feel what I feel

Today I got my chance
Suddenly all was gone
There was just me and you
Within inches of each other
My heart jumped in joy

I opened my mouth
But nothing came out
All I felt was the lump in my throat
The music on my iPod had suddenly stopped

Then I saw your lips move
Did he say hello?
My innocent brown eyes looked at you
Inquiring and willing you to say something 

Nothing came
You passed me by
My shoulders slumped in dejection
I looked back at you
With eyes welled in tears

Our eyes locked again
I thought I saw your lips coil in a smile
And a faint sparkle in your eyes
Or did I not?

Guys I wrote this a while ago for a bloke that used to make my heart flutter at the train station but whom I never had the courage to walk up to. My normal self would have walked up to him to have a chat, but at 8 o'clock in the morning while everyone is trying to find their way to work, that is hardly an ideal time to exchange chit chat with a stranger who may even knock you back. Has anybody ever found themselves in this perplexing situation? How did you deal with?

My Friends in Nigeria and Western Guys

Okay, some of us have probably had an encounter with the yankee or jand boy who comes to Nija throwing money around, driving a big car and wanting to sleep with all the beautiful girls around. I've never been personally involved with any of the sort but I have rolled with friends who have them as boyfriends and I must say it can be real fun. We eat in choice restaurants as well as gaining entry into clubs that ordinarily cost a fortune for girls like us. Another glamour of dating yankee or jand guy is the fact that you can flaunt them around your friends who salivate over their smooth skin and fluid accent.

Perhaps under this allurement is the major heartbreak that lurks around for these girls. Its all well and good when a girl decides to date a Yankee/Jand guy for money, but when such a girl pins her hopes on him for marriage then she's asking for trouble. For most of my friends who have married guys from abroad, their husbands acted swiftly ensuring that they ask for their hands in marriage within no time and bring them to live for them in their respective states. But for the majority of guys who just go to Nija to have a nice time, they make false promises of marriage, visit Nigeria about 3 times a year but never make any concrete arrangements to seal their liaisons with the girls they've made promises of love to. In turn, under the razzle-dazzle of money, the girls forget to use their God-given brains to smell the coffee before its too late.

Within the last few months I've had calls from three of my friends who called me all crying about their broken heart. The guys who broke their hearts all fit the prototype of the typical Yankee/Jand guy who already has a wife and kid(s) and furnishes them with empty promises of love and marriage. Even for someone who lives in London, I've been deceived by these same kind of guy and quickly had to learn the hard way. Perhaps what surprises me most is that all of them have fallen victim of the sorts of guys not once, not twice. Accepted, most of them run after these guys cos they have suddenly seen a free ticket to London or Yankee but are they so stupid to fall in love? Maybe its poverty that has not only eaten deep into their pockets but also into brains.

Please girls smarten up, if you're gonna date a western guy at all let it be just for his money and accept any other things that comes with it as a bonus. Stop blowing up my phones cos I ain't agony aunt.

Who's your happiness dependent on?

I was having a messenger conversation last night with a friend of mine who's just left his wife of 4 years and has a 3 year old daughter. He was trying to give me advice on marriage and some important things popped out of our conversation. It makes a long read but the points made are quite important and relevant and I will like to know what your point of view is. There are no right or wrong ideas.

Below is excerpts from our conversation.

Friend: na wife go determine if the man go live happily or not. once una marry, u let urself go, all those things weh u do to catch am, u stop. all the lace bra, push ups, go turn to cottons later, all the low rise jeans go turn to wrapper rise
Ollay: its not as simple as that
Friend: even a pastor friend weh i get deh complain too
hin wife no deh give am do anymore, shes always tired
for six months now no sex
Ollay: you men fail to appreciate the psychological and physiological changes women go through when they grow older and have kids
Friend: hmm u never go thru am now so how u wan take know
Ollay: as a woman i can identify with other women who have gone thru it
Friend: yea some men are bad, we all know that,but suprisingly, na the good ones deh suffer
Ollay: u guys need to start changing your thinking and attitude. While it is not acceptable for a woman to let herself go it is unfair for a man to ask a woman to be like she was when she was 24 after she's had one or more kids, grown older with slower metabolism and has more responsibility both in the house and at work
Friend: ok, u know what, lets have this conversation in ur second year of marriage
just remember everything weh we discuss today
cause me i no deh forget stuff
Ollay: listen am not saying you're not mentioning what the poblems are but you men just fail to see the sheer scale of it
and that in itself is a problem you expect too much and think too much about your dicks. where is the compassion
how many men are still their trendy self as when they first got married. were you not the one saying you want to loose weight too, that's the same way it is for women. men get away with murder yet crucify women. have you forgotten they have feelings too?
Friend: at least i realised i need to loose weight, u guys don’t. after na don born, dem don deh call u mama risi,e don finish everything go just deh sloppy
Ollay: trust me they do. am undertaking a research for my dissertaion. I sampled 102 women and 96% of them have tried to loose weight but its difficult.
Friend: dem wan lose weight aftr men don dissapoint them. tell me about women weh deh husband house
Ollay: nah, a sizable number of them are married
Friend: really
Ollay: sometimes I really do wonder what planet men come from,your arguments are so one-sided. while I agree with you that some women do sit on their butts and do nothing abt their look you fail to see that men have unrealistic demands
Friend: i am not saying we do not have faults men have faults, we cheat,but most times its because our women lose the sex urge, stop looking attractive and stop caring about themselves. i am talking from experience,so will many men
Ollay: na lie what abt the men who cheat on perfectly stunning women, you will say its cos they have one comma. abegi
Friend: women dont know what it takes to make thir man happy anymore.
Ollay: why shud men depend on women to be happy? why cant they seek their happiness for themselves, everything is a woman's fault. am sick and tired of men trying to pull the wool over women's eyes due to their own inadequacies
Friend: thats what u think, u still thinking like a single person
Ollay: you never waka so? you think she wont be happy anymore or you wont be happy anymore? abeg leave story
Friend: ok, u go soon enter. i have been there, u have not, if u marry and leave because u are not happy,whats the probabilty that the next one will be better. thats why our grandmothers teh for husband house cause deh work it out
Ollay: who needs a man to be happy I dont depend on a man to be happy he's coming into my life to share in my happiness and to give me more happiness not to make me happy. Am gonna try my best to live in harmony just like I would do if i was at work or church or anywhere else. And if after I’ve done my best, he’s not happy then the door is there for him. if he compromises my happiness and I’ve tried to make things work to no avail, the door is there for me. Let no man come and tell me am the architect of his own misfortune. life is what we individually make of it not what someone else makes of it for you. chikena
Friend: ok o, u win, ur mentality never change at all. when u marry ,u no know say when one is not happy,the other is not
Ollay: am not saying that each other's happiness dont impact on one anothers. what am saying is that when you are both unhappy and have tried to work it out without success you move on and get ur happiness back.
Friend: u think its that easy abi, stop thinking like this o
Ollay: marriage shud be abt two happy pple who want to share their love and hapiness together but when it becomes difficult to share such love and happiness then they shud find an amicable way to resolve things.
Friend: talk as an educated person but not as an experienced person. let me ask u, are u happy
Ollay: of cos am happy
Friend: with urself?
Ollay: yes
Friend: when u dont have a man
Ollay: absolutely
Friend: ok, good for u
Ollay: happiness have categories, you could be happy being single then have a different sort of happiness when you’re with someone. but it doesnt mean that when you were single you were unhappy. you could also be with someone and be happy but you could break up and find that you're happier. also happiness does not mean you dont compromise or compromise does not mean you cant be happy. bending your rules may not make you completely happy but I doubt you will bend your rules at all if it was going to cost you too much unhappiness. breaking off your marriage may not making you instantly happy but in the long run you may become happier. it all depends on the where, when, why, who, how
Friend: u see ,thats selfishness right there,when u married,its not bout u alone again, u have to stop been self centered. its about ur family
Ollay: selfishness is subjective. what;s the point of rowing 24 7 with ur wifey and the children can hear. how happy do you think they will be?
Friend: u know me, i go rub am to ur face when u change this way of reasoning
Ollay: forget it. life unravels and as it unravels one's points of view changes. so i wait for it to unravel.
Friend: u need loose small of this fire o, u are still young sha, u never see life
Ollay: if u say so