Courting Disaster

I saw him for the first time when he brought his friend to mine. Introductions were made and from then on I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. As we were chatting away in the car I studied his side frame. Unlike most men he lacked side burns just the way I liked it. His skin was dark and smooth as that of a black panther. As if he knew I was looking at him he looked at me too and I was instantly drawn into his penetrating gaze. I noticed his eyelashes then, longer and fuller than that of Barbie. His delicate features drew me even more to him and I must have lost my trail of thought for a second there. Long and short of it was that I was staring at a very beautiful man and I fell in love at first sight.

I knew he was a no go for me because his friend was interested in me and they must have had their 'boy talk' about me but I still let him creep into my heart. I let my guard down when his first text came. Just when I though I had committed my attraction for him into oblivion, his text came and dredged up all those buried feelings. They came in just as rapidly as my replies and my heart never stopped its fast and thunderous beating neither did my anticipation for his replies wither. There marked the beginning of a beautiful relationship or so I thought.

The months that followed were beautiful and happy. I had a reason to wake up and to smile. He touched every angle of my heart and soul with his words and actions. He loved me like a woman should be loved and made me feel things I thought was impossible. Things moved on at a speed and it felt like we'd been together for years then came the bombshell. He is married. I should have known, single men don't come that complete and totally besotted to you. I should have seen this from afar but then I was too loved up to see. Even then common sense didn't kick in because I was too wrapped up in love to think straight. I knew I was doing something terrible but I couldn’t bring myself to let go. I loved this man and I just cant walk away not after all we'd shared. Yes it was only for about 3 or 4 months but those were the best period in my life in recent times. Love is a bad bad thing. I am not sure I want it to happen to me anymore.

As you would guess the honeymoon period was gradually nearing its end. He has to baby sit, go to the airport, do things at home. Things I couldn't share with him. His other life came first now. The times we saw lessened then I started to drift back into reality. Once again I am with the wrong man. A man that I loved truly but a man who could never be totally mine. I tried once, twice and then some more to get rid of him but I always went back. I had to try one more time and this time I had to be mean to him, make him hate me and hopefully he'd leave me alone for good since I can't seem to do it myself. I said mean things to him. Things that made him doubt I ever loved him. Things that really hurt him and perhaps shattered his ego. Then I committed him to the history books. I am still alive and breathing and went on to have a few more disastrous relationships.

Have a great week everyone.