First Anniversary

Yeeeeeeee, I did it albeit lazily. Clocked a year and over 50 posts in blogville. Now clap for me everyone. Its been real fun and I've made some fantastic friends virtually and even taken some into the real world. Thanks all for making this such a worthwhile experience for me and for letting me face one fact that I've refused to accept in a while. I can be complacent in a lot of ways. I secretly call myself 'daku-daji' blogger and yet am not contrite. I guess this is me and I can only just do what I can do. Hmm...I give up on myself.

I dont really have anything to post today but I just wanna share a lesson that I learned in a rather hard way. A man will do what a man will do. Forget love or commitment. Some of you may feel am taking a hardline on the matter but the truth is that men are just men. They make decisions devoid of emotions. They look at practicalities, what will work for them and what wont. If you are that woman who just happens to be in their life at a wrong time, no matter how much they profess love, they're still going to do what they are going to do, mostly without you in the grand scheme of things. Some sisters know this already but for those who dont please take note. Do everything for yourself. Let a man meet you where you are happy to me be met. Dont tailor your life and decisions to sync into the life of your SO well until he actually makes you his wife.

Where did all these come from? I had long suspected this was the case but love no dey gree me see road, lol. However watching the Nigerian movie Reloaded just confirmed all my suspicions. One of the characters played excellently by Stephanie Okereke dedicated 7yrs of her life to a man, had six abortions for him and yet he simply refused to marry her claiming he didnt have the means to support a family. Yet he goes out there and impregnates another woman whom he promptly made preparations to marry. This movie is a must see for all women because it's loaded with vital lessons one must take through the whole dating game and even into marriage.

I leave you with peace and love.

Friends or Men, Which Way To Go?

I just wanna rant about my friend o. We went raving and I met this fine brother who is a friend to my friend's brother in law. For the sake of brevity lets call my friend Sheila and the fine brother Lee. Lee is not exactly a drop dead gorgeous guy but he exudes the sort of sexiness that is rare to come by these days. As I have decided to remain single, I didn't really give him face but we got on fine during the night. Before we parted ways he asked for my number which I gave him. In the car with Sheila and the rest of the crew, she says to me "Parakeet be careful what pictures go on facebook". Am like "why"? She says "oh cos Lee has a girlfriend". I just wondered where that came from cos I didn't even take a picture of Lee and even if I did, having a girlfriend doesn't mean a guy cant be seen in pictures with other people on a night out. Then she breaks into my thoughts and announces that "Lee is a player, he's got too many girls" blabla and I was wondering what the need for that was but then I kept shut. I knew something was up right there.

Anyhoos Lee didn't call me until 3 days after our meeting. I couldn't speak then so I asked him to email me instead and he sends me one dumb email saying he just wanted to say hi. I replied with 'am fine' and that was the end of our email exchange. Sheila calls me later at night and we gossiped as usual about men then I quipped in that Lee called me and stuff. Next thing is she says to me is that "seriously Lee is trouble stay away''. I told her nothing is up with me and Lee and I dont intend for anything to happen but even if I was him being a bad boy wouldn't deter me. I also told her I've noted what she said and will put it in mind. She said ok and we went on to talk about something else. 

The next day she calls me again this time all very serious and went into a barrage of why I should really stay away from Lee and she told me that he uses women and stuff. Again I told her I appreciate her concern but that there was nothing to me and Lee and even if there was going to be I am capable of taking care of myself. She didnt seem to like this. She took offence and we ended the conversation on a very bad note. A few hours later, my phone rings and it was Lee saying he didnt want some pple disrespecting him cos he simply talked to me. Turns out Sheila had told her sister who of cos is married to Lee's friend and her sister had called Lee to warn him to steer clear of me. 

I just dont understand what the whole thing is about. I know there's more to it than what Sheila told me but then if Lee was such a bad person it concerns me that they continue to hang out with him and I told Sheila as much. Also I don't feel Sheila has the right to command me to stay off Lee because I'm an adult and I can damn well do what I like. She can advise me as a true friend and then lend me a shoulder to cry on when it all blows up in my face but instead she has chosen not to talk to me anymore cos I wouldn't listen to her. This is suppose to be a friendship not a tyranny. And now the bad girl in me is really curious about this bad boy called Lee.

Dear blogville what do you suppose happened between Sheila and Lee that she's so adamant I must stay off him? I must add though that both parties deny ever having a relationship or anything sexual. So what is up really? Any thoughts?

Courting Disaster

I saw him for the first time when he brought his friend to mine. Introductions were made and from then on I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. As we were chatting away in the car I studied his side frame. Unlike most men he lacked side burns just the way I liked it. His skin was dark and smooth as that of a black panther. As if he knew I was looking at him he looked at me too and I was instantly drawn into his penetrating gaze. I noticed his eyelashes then, longer and fuller than that of Barbie. His delicate features drew me even more to him and I must have lost my trail of thought for a second there. Long and short of it was that I was staring at a very beautiful man and I fell in love at first sight.

I knew he was a no go for me because his friend was interested in me and they must have had their 'boy talk' about me but I still let him creep into my heart. I let my guard down when his first text came. Just when I though I had committed my attraction for him into oblivion, his text came and dredged up all those buried feelings. They came in just as rapidly as my replies and my heart never stopped its fast and thunderous beating neither did my anticipation for his replies wither. There marked the beginning of a beautiful relationship or so I thought.

The months that followed were beautiful and happy. I had a reason to wake up and to smile. He touched every angle of my heart and soul with his words and actions. He loved me like a woman should be loved and made me feel things I thought was impossible. Things moved on at a speed and it felt like we'd been together for years then came the bombshell. He is married. I should have known, single men don't come that complete and totally besotted to you. I should have seen this from afar but then I was too loved up to see. Even then common sense didn't kick in because I was too wrapped up in love to think straight. I knew I was doing something terrible but I couldn’t bring myself to let go. I loved this man and I just cant walk away not after all we'd shared. Yes it was only for about 3 or 4 months but those were the best period in my life in recent times. Love is a bad bad thing. I am not sure I want it to happen to me anymore.

As you would guess the honeymoon period was gradually nearing its end. He has to baby sit, go to the airport, do things at home. Things I couldn't share with him. His other life came first now. The times we saw lessened then I started to drift back into reality. Once again I am with the wrong man. A man that I loved truly but a man who could never be totally mine. I tried once, twice and then some more to get rid of him but I always went back. I had to try one more time and this time I had to be mean to him, make him hate me and hopefully he'd leave me alone for good since I can't seem to do it myself. I said mean things to him. Things that made him doubt I ever loved him. Things that really hurt him and perhaps shattered his ego. Then I committed him to the history books. I am still alive and breathing and went on to have a few more disastrous relationships.

Have a great week everyone.

Multi-Dating My Foot

Truth be told, I cant crack this multi-dating thing...that's the update.

How are you my very own peoples. I must first pay homage to whom homage is due. I say thank you for counting me worthy enough to still come round and read my rants even though I have been slack in my duties of timely updates and blog rounds. I also wanna say a massive thank you to those who have made my buddy RocNaija to feel rather welcome to our family. Kudos also to the brains behind Naija Bloggers Award. Una do well.

My adept followers will know about my resolve to go multi-dating in order to find THE ONE. Well Stop Press: Parakeet is still very much single. The multi-dating thing has not worked for two plausible reasons, one because I actually never got round to doing it and two because I just don’t get attracted to guys no more. Ehn…I don’t get attracted to girls either before you start thinking all those naughty thoughts. Even though I agreed to give both leggedese benz and mercedes benz brothers a chance for a date with moi, I just couldn't bring myself to follow up after such dates. There was just no motivation or energy even though for the most part these guys are perfect gentlemen.

I have decided to give up on dating and give up on men until I can reasonably start to 'feel' again. At least am not doing what most women do and blame men for my woes. I am just putting my hands up here to say that I am emotionally barren at the moment and no need leading a guy on who may just happen to have genuine interest. In the meantime though I shall be searching for answers as to why and how I got here. Has anyone out there been here before? Do we have a shrink in the house whom Parakeet may just speak to?

A girl needs some help here. I'm out in peace. Be back soon so have a great weekend everyone.

Would My Top Five Make Yours?

Hi everyone, hope I meet you well. Since I've been unable to blog I got someone new to blogville who is guest blogging for me today. Below is his ingenuity.

So she said.. "you're actually a good writer.. U ever considered blogging before?"
And I said.."Thought about it once but never got round to doing it.. Besides who would read anyways..?''
"You should try it sometime.. You'll be surprised.."
"Really? Hmm.. Maybe I should guestblog for u and see how it goes" I said, jokingly
"Yeah sure! Not a problem.."
''oops!!''

So two months later, its RocNaija guestblogging for TheParakeet.

Amazing how the most 'off-the-cuff' conversations, strike a chord sometimes..
I tend to have mixed emotions when I talk 'off-the-cuff' with my people..
Ranges from being nostalgic.. to 'hmm-never-did-that-before'.. To 'I'm-glad-that-never-happened-to-me'

So I came up with a list.. Should be longer than it is but as we're in an era of downsizing..

5. The heat.. and mosquitoes.
I hate it when I'm in subzero degrees somewhere and the weatherwoman comes on saying ' still icy winds across europe.. But lagos is 30.. Abuja 35'And that buzz in ur ear.. The one where u slap yourself cos your half asleep.. Priceless!

4. NEPA
When we were younger it was ''up! Nepa!'' But as the years piled on, we took to whispering 'oh nepa' in exasperation. Still... Better than saying ''oh phcn!'' (always thought they left out the vowels intentionally ;-) )

3. Horns
Yeah.. Odd one I know. But it's the first thing u notice when ur out of Naija for a bit..No okada's whizzing past with lorry horns attached.. No danfo's on pedestrian kerbs horns blaring.. No molues at breakneck speeds playing tunes with their horns..
Nothing.. Just absolute silence

2. Motherland
The comedy skits.. The saxophone.. the enigma.. Nuff said.

1. Blowjob on kuramo beach..
Where did that come from? Heady akoka days & ranks under the never-did-that category.
If u want that story, you'll have to click here.

So there u have it folks..

So what would u take off my list and swap with something else?
RocNaija signing off..

9 Days into February Happy New Month

'Iwo yi laro' (cant translate, soz) you Yorubas will say but I can only say make una no vex. I've been tied down with moving and stuff so no time to update or to reply to comments. I have been on the road a lot for someone who wants to stay indoors because of the cold. My mobile has become my best friend but unfortunately I couldnt update blogger from it. Imagine after taking time to type all the response to comments and the publish link just failed to activate. Google take note.

When I get a bit settled I promise to do my blog rounds and to update but for now just to let you know that I'm alive and well.

Have a good month everyone.

Winter Is Such A Libido Killer

Ok Scratch libido and replace it with something along the lines of 'the urge to socialise or date as it were'.

Manners, sorry guys how una dey? For those in Nija hope the sun is not biting too much. One of my dates landed in Nija a few days ago and he couldn't stop moaning about how hot it was and how he felt he'd just die. That's what happens when you leave sub zero temperature and swap it for over 32 degrees. For those of us in the West namely Yankee and Jand we know all too well how the winter this year has been so harsh. Certainly doesn't give much credence to their global warming clap trap. Talk about GW, do you know what the two-faced back stabbing British government has done again? After slamming like £20 green tax on short haul flights and £4o on long haul to make people think twice about flying they then approved a third run way for Heathrow. Now they claim to be the environmental champions of the world by introducing things like HIP packs which could make your home almost unsell-able if found short of the energy standards stipulated in the pack and also the £400 road tax slammed on so called gas guzzlers. So how does destroying 700 homes and then building a 3rd runway that would see Heathrow retain its crown as world busiest airport comply with their very own fight to save the planet by cutting their own emission. Well I'm not surprised sha, only Labour will say they'd not increase institution tuition fee only for it to go up from £1150 that year to £3000 the following year. In fact I be mumu for still believing in this government and any other government for that matter. Who invented politics sef? We need to go exhume that dude's body and kill him again 10 times over.

Sorry, manners again, so back to todays post. Remember the long epistle that was my last post where I was trying to prove hard and saying am going out there to multi date. Well it hasn't happened. E be like say God wan teach me lesson as I no dey meet dudes with cars anymore. Well that isn't God's fault really but most of those guys with cars have pot bellies and me and pot bellies no dey see eye to eye. Anyways all the guys on my radar now are tall and slim just the way I like them but no car and that just messes things up. I've been turning down lets go to the movie requests and bar requests like American Embassy refusing Nigerian's visa. The thing don tire me o and its not like am one high maintenance girl, I'm just lazy. How am I suppose to find better boyfriend if I cant be bothered to socialise? Any thoughts on this? You see I'm happy to meet up after work and such but they work at different times and that just makes it impossible. Once am home at the weekend nothing fit carry me comot house o, not in that biting cold unless of cos it's of utmost importance and e be like say socialising no dey that important level...yet.

Anyway this is a formal announcement that Parakeet cannot take any dating applications for now until summer which on a second thought defeats my purpose of having a spanking hot guy by then. What can a woman do eh? I hate this country sometimes!