Happy Crimbo

To all my beloved friends and well wishers in blogville, happy holidays and best wishes for 2009.

Love you all

Is She Dead?

Hello everyone, hope you've been keeping well. Many thanks for all the messages left for me. Very much appreciated. I am not back yet but someone emailed something to me at work today and I feel I have to share it. I will be back soon...promise.

While struggling with the reality of being a human instead of a myth, the strong black woman passed away. Medical sources say she died of natural causes, but those who knew her know she died from being silent when she should have been screaming, smiling when she should have been raging, from being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them. She died from an overdose of other people clinging to her when she didn't even have energy for herself.

She died from loving men who didn't love themselves and could only offer her a crippled reflection. She died from raising children alone. She died from the lies her grandmother told her mother and her mother told her about life, men & racism. She died from being sexually abused as a child and having to take that truth everywhere she went every day of her life, exchanging the humiliation for guilt and back again.

She died from asphyxiation, from secrets she kept trying to burn away instead of allowing herself the kind of nervous breakdown she was entitled to, but only white girls could afford. She died from being responsible, because she was the last rung on the ladder and there was no one under her she could dump on. The strong black woman is dead.

She died from being dragged down and sat upon by un-evolved women posing as sisters and friends. She died from tolerating Mr. Pitiful, just to have a man around the house. She died from sacrificing herself for everybody and everything when what she really wanted to do was be a singer, a dancer, or some magnificent other. She died from lies of omission because she didn't want to bring the black man down.

She died from myths that would not allow her to show weakness without being chastised by the lazy and hazy. She died from hiding her real feelings until they became hard and bitter enough to invade her womb and breasts like angry tumors. She died from never being enough of what men wanted, or being too much for the men she wanted. She died from being too black and died again for not being black enough.


She died from being misinformed about her mind, her body & the extent of her royal capabilities. She died from knees pressed too close together because respect was never part of the foreplay that was being shoved at her. And sometimes when she refused to die, when she just refused to give in she was killed by the lethal images of blonde hair, blue eyes and flat butts, being rejected by the OJ.'s, the Quincy's, the Cuba's & the Kobe's.

Sometimes, she was stomped to death by racism & sexism, executed by hi-tech ignorance while she carried the family in her belly, the community on her head, and the race on her back!
The strong black woman is dead! Or is she?

I know I'm not! Pass this on to all the strong black women that you love, respect, and admire! I just did.

Kudos to whoever put this together orginally...great stuff. Have a nice one all.

Going AWOL

Just for a bit...will be back sometime hopefully before the new year.

Take care everyone and have a nice one.

Xoxo

OBAMAMANIA PROVES TRUE!

He did it in the most honorable way. Who says a black man is incapable? Welcome to the 'real new world order'. Congratulations Obama! Congratulations America! Congratulations world! And most importantly congratulations black people!

P.S.

Kudos to McCain for being gracious in concession!

The Snobbish Attitude of Most Nigerians

Now I'm not about to point fingers because I'm guilty of it to some extent but if I'm frank those were back in the day of limited knowledge. The days where I valued the 'foreign' stuff over homegrown or the expensive material things over the things that offered real value for money. Now I know better that showing class or sophistication does not have to include looking down on people or saying 'I am better than you'.

What informed this post? Well I had gone to see a friend of mine whom I only met just over a month ago. From the little I know of him, I gathered he was one of those people who had a semi priviledged background. He grew up in the Ikoyi/VI area of Lagos, went to Kings College and had a car even before he went to university. Someone whose parents were so liberal to the point that they would drink together and even allowed him to host wild parties in fully air-conditioned room with cigarette smoke dancing around the room.  Till today he still carries on with that sort of life and his conversations mostly surround video games, girls and parties. 

Let me give in a little background to this. In London most Nigerians live in the South East like Peckham, Thamesmead etc and in the East like Barking which are mostly area for working class people and immigrants. Most of the Nigerian clubs are also concentrated in the SE and East of London so you find a lot of Nigerians within these neighbourhood have a lot in common. Sometimes people in their bid to appear 'different' will go to the 'city' to party and mingle because this is where you mostly find white middle class people. If you go to city clubs you will feel like you really are in London because the crowd and music is different. When some Nigerians go to places like that to party they come back to boast to their peers about how they partied with 'cream girls' and city boys.

Such was the scene at my friends place on Saturday. He and his friend went on about how they went to a club in the city called Ink and the crowd was so much better that they have decided not attend 'gongo aso' clubs anymore. Gongo aso meaning clubs with heavy Nigerian presence and Nigerian music. They ranted on about how they do not feel like they are in London and cant even speak 'phone' like a real london guy anymore because they keep mixing with all these people who were fortunate enough to get a visa to London but cant speak good English. It was blatant that they brought that classism from Lagos where peeps from Ikoyi believe that they are better than those who live in Oshodi. They washed down London girls saying they are loud and money grabbing but one of them is married to a Nigerian woman. They gave examples of their friends who would not even speak to a Nigerian person because they do not want their 'razzness' to rub off on them and berated Nigerians for speaking their language too often.

I looked on in horror as these two people exhibited a lack of respect for anything Nigerian. I was so gob-smacked that I didn't even know what to say to them but in my mind I was thinking how pathetic they were. I admit that some Nigerian people put their fellow Nigerians to shame with their unpolished attitude especially in public transport. Some of them shout at the top of their voice when speaking to each other or on the telephone. In fact just last Tursday I listened on as one Yoruba dude gave a vivid description of how he slept with his girlfriend that he hadn't seen for a while and how thick his sperm was blabla and I thought this is gross. However I don't think this problem is isolated to the Nigerian community only. I see a lot of East Europeans who get on the bus and chatter on in their language and some British folks who just go on and on.

However what my two friends are forgetting is that the white man's way of life is not better than ours. While they clearly do some things better than us, it does not mean our culture and way of life pales in comparison to theirs. It is good to enjoy and appreciate a little bit of everything as this leads to a healthy balance in life. I believe what people should aim for is to be able to hold their own in any situation. If you want to party in 'chinawhite' with footballers and reality TV stars, well do so and not put down 'carbon' where Naeto c may just show up if he's in town. If you wish to wear a Georgio Armani suit, do so and not put down my 'ankara'. If you wish to speak in your British accent, please do so and not put down my own accent because frankly I ain't Bri'ish.  There are more to people than meet the eye and no one human being is above the other even if our social status may suggest so. We are all going to die and be buried and our soul will leave our bodies. People should learn to feed their soul and their minds and not just their bodies. Karl Marx was known for capitalism, Newton for gravity, Freud for psychoanalysis and Mother Teresa for her humanitarian work, what will you be known for when you finally depart this earth?

Mother Daughter Talk

This is my first proper post in over a month I guess and there's so much to talk about but I'll try to keep it concise.

First shall I tackle the curiousity about Enigma, he may not appreciate this but it has to be done. Some people are asking how I knew it was him and what I mean by he's tight. Enigma and I have a mutual friend who had told me before that he had another friend who was also a blogger. So it was our mutual friend's bday bash this weekend and Enigma and I got introduced and the rest is history. When I say he's tight I mean his pseudonym is befitting of him. He may not have the conventional Will Smith look but he does have a presence you cant ignore and he carries himself immaculately. So to me that is tight...I hope I've laid all that curiousity to rest. And Enigma no vex for putting you out there like this.

Back to today's post....

Mum: Temidayo you know you're five years old and no longer a baby
Temi: Oh no mum, what have I done again?
Mum: You haven't done anything my dear. I just need to speak to you about something very important.
Temi: As long as its not about me not tying my shoe lace properly
Mum: You naughty girl...ehm how do I even start.
Temi: From the middle
Mum: (sighs)...ehm I want to talk to you about men and women
Temi: What about them?
Mum: You see there will come a time when you will have your own little Temi
Temi: (Tantrums) but mum I'm just a baby
Mum: (Looking worried)...I know my dear. I'm just trying to prepare your mind
Temi: My mind for what...?
Mum: Okay maybe this is not a good time, I'll talk to you later
Temi: (Now upset) but mum I wanna know now.
Phone rings, mum picks call...life saver...end of story.

How do you broach the topic of sex with a 5year old? They are proposing sex education in Britain's secondary schools and perhaps to primary school pupils as well who could be as young as 5. There's been debates whether it is safe or not to start with kids that young. How do you even begin to teach sex, love and relationship to someone as young as that. Admittedly I liked a boy as the tender age of 7 but it was just 'like' and he was much older so all I wanted him to do was read to me and take me for walks. Sex never crossed my mind and I remember vividly being highly embarrassed when we were watching soaps that depicted couples kissing. Even at that age I knew it was not something meant for a girl my age.

While I feel sex education is great I believe introducing it to children as young as 5 is too early. By God they have not even reached puberty yet so why not wait until then to explain the changes in their bodies and relate that to sex, marriage and love? That's my opinion but what do you guys think? Should children be taught sex, love and relationship education from the age of 5?

Enjoy your week.

Hi Everyone

Just to say many thanks to all that have been checking up on me. I am doing great just a little busy with the things of life I guess. 

So keep your mind at rest dearest bloggers and know that Parakeet is fine wherever she is. Have a blessed week everyone.

P.S.

Guess who I met on one of my night crawling??? Enigma and he's tight!

The Farce of Modern Governance

So George Bush is imploring American tax payers to shell out more money to offset the financial crisis caused by a greedy few? Who are those greedy few? Did he mean to say myself, my govt and the big corporations? Because if he said that he wont be further from the truth. I am sick and tired of people solely dumping the downturn of the capital market at the doorstep of bankers. These people were just instruments of greed used by government and big corporation to grab capital that was then used to fight Iraq war and used to buy up smaller companies just to face off competition within the market. Take the advertising industry for instance, there are only 7 major companies in the world who own a network of other companies. So it could be said that these giants basically control the advertising revenues of the developed nations and some notable developing countries like India and Nigeria. The banks have to make this funds available to them but they try to make us believe they are doing it for us. If we don’t give this people money to run businesses then you may not be able to buy that cheap item of clothing or furniture which is a total lie.

Mass production made it possible for people to develop false needs. If these manufacturers did not manufacture these things and then engineered our minds to make us believe we need them then we'd only be a people who used what we really needed, namely clothing, food and shelter. I am not about to slate technology because mobile phones and automobiles are a great invention but who really needs a touch sensitive phone for instance? Hello! I've got fingers and they're not broken. Or a car where I could watch TV when my attention should really be on the road and I can go back home and watch TV on a better screen. They even managed to make us believe we need HDTV so that we can see the wrinkles in Ellen Degenres' face. Better picture they call it but why don’t you just give me a slap on my face and ask me to hand over my money. We now live in a world where success is judged on ones material possession and the likes of Victoria Beckham can go to the newspaper and say my perfume empire is worth £109million. Looks like that's really news these days. Now Russia wants to go claim ownership of some part of the Antarctic…money money money and now the whole world is crumbling just because there is less of it in circulation. How could man become such a servant to what it made? I didn’t hear God say when he finished creation that go and be servants to the animals…I thought it read go and have dominion over the animals and the things of the world.

By all means if Americans are happy to bail out the banks it will be the way to go but will the government act this time? Will they ensure that legislation is put in place to protect people more, that banks do not give credit to those who clearly cannot pay and those hedge fund people stop making greedy deals? I am not an economist and I don’t know how these things work but I know that the government sat on their butts the whole time lapping up the glory that comes from a perceived economic buoyancy when in fact the whole thing was built on a farce. God just look at it, who thought Lehman Bros could fall? Anyway this is where the rant stops but I just hope that these morons in government will learn a vital lesson here that greed can bring you money only for a short period but will probably wreak more havoc than they can handle.

Have a wonderful week!

Trouble Sleep Yanga Go Wake Am

That is what our people in Nigeria say in Pidgin English when one decides to go look for trouble by perhaps doing a stupid thing. In this case trouble was taking a stroll away and I decided to go and tap it by the shoulders.

How did it start? Well I found my old address book from Nigeria. This is not a joke but the number of complimentary cards I found was enough to make a paper machie house. Most girls in Nija will testify to this, when you go out you are bound to meet some big man somewhere who's looking for a fresh blood to devour. Often they are rich, married, way older than you and with bellies bigger than that of a 9 months pregnant woman. But somehow back in the days it shows some sort of street smart pride when your wallet is adorned by complimentary cards of Senators or oil boys even if you don't really take them as Aristos. I had a few good ones myself and I found one of such ones in my stash of complimentary cards. Now the man in question is not exactly top notch but he worked for Chevron and your girl was trying to get into the company then. So I pallied him up only that he wanted more than I could give so I severed our friendship and kissed goodbye to the Chevron job he was going to help me with.

Fast forward 6 years yours truly decided to give him a buzz having found his card but I didn't know I was setting myself up for trouble. The buzz was just to say hi o...now I know why they say that an idle mind is the devils works shop. He remembered me quite alright and we chatted about a few things here and there asked for my number which I gave to him thinking he'd never call anyway. Now that mistake is almost costing me my sanity now. Man refuse to back down on his calls o. He basically intends to blow up my phone and he's driving me outta my mind. He even said that he's coming to London next month to see me. See me see wahala, ki la gbe, ki le ju? (I dont know the translation to that one, that's some Yoruba slang). Anywhoos at that point I knew I had to act so I told him that seeing him will be tough o cos I live with my partner. He went into a stony silence and then suddenly exclamated, "you live with a man?!" I was like shoo, since when did that become a crime but I forgot that those things are frowned upon in Nigeria. Only that was not the reason for his shock, the real reason was that because I called him he felt that I wanted us to be an item. I mean from where to where? For all I care this man could have gone grey and I could have become yokozuna in the 6 years we haven't seen. Why would a 2 minute call to you suggest that I want to shag you on your next trip to London? If I didn't have anything to do with you sexually then, why would I do now? It still irks me that he even thought along those lines at all and I'm really wondering at the state of men/women affairs in Nigeria. Frankly I don't find it funny and I dont think its proper at all. Hopefully that will put him off ever calling me again.

Really men are wired differently but at least now I've learnt my lessons. When next I see trouble, I'll take the back road. I siddon look...

For Friends

This goes out to my dear friend, Ruvimbo. We met 5 years ago at the criminal law class in undergrad, we hit it off immediately and people wondered whether we were sisters. Problem was our accents gave us away, she's from Zim and I from Nig but the bond was formed. We've been through a lot together and we never stopped talking about our numerous relationship problems and our career plans.

We hardly saw each other but kept in touch via phone and we held such important places in each others heart. Her sojourn in the UK is over for now and she's moving on to bigger and greater things in SA. My heart and prayers go with her while I'll physically miss her. Ruvimbo you've been more than a friend and I love you so much. I am so glad I have this opportunity to organise a leaving do for you and am glad we'll be spending your last few days in the UK together. 

P.S.
Everyone in blogville you've been a pillar for me. I've not had much chance to do my blog rounds but I'll get to it soon.

Love to all!

24 Hour Miracle

I just want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for your support during my down time. I feel so blessed having you all to support and I am sure you will be rejoicing with me now that my respite has come. My psyche experienced a turn around in 24 hours and it is a miracle indeed for instead of being emotionally drained and unhappy, I am leaping in joyfulness. I got a news which for many may be considered bad news but in truth it was good news. The person I received the news about is the singular reason I hadn't made much progress in a certain part of my life for the last 2 years and I am glad that I am now free of that bondage.

My facebook status now reads God's WAY may not be the OBVIOUS way but it is ALWAYS the BEST way and instead of singing Brandy's Almost Doesn't Count, I'm now singing My Life is in Your Hands by Kirk Franklin

You don't have to worry

And don't you be afraid

Joy comes in the morning

Trouble they don't last always

For there's a friend in Jesus

Who will wipe your tears away

And if your heart is broken

Just lift your hands and say

Oh I know that I can make it

I know that I can stand

No matter what may come my way

My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it

With him I know I can stand

No matter what may come my way

My life is in yours

So when your test and trials

They seem to weigh you down

And all your friends and loved ones

Are no where to be found

Remember there's a friend in Jesus

Who will wipe your tears away

And if your heart is broken

Just lift your hands and say

Oh I know that I can make it

I know that I can stand

No matter what may come my way

My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it

With him I know I can stand

No matter what may come my way

My life is in yours

Have a good and blessed week everyone and please participate in the poll I put up. Mucho Gracias!

Feeling Blue

Yea...I've been feeling uncharacteristically melancholic...too many emotions running amok and and I have a lot rummaging through my thoughts. I cant narrow them down to something in particular. I hate this feeling and to make matters worse a lot of sad love songs have been playing in my head but this feelings go beyond love. It definitely has to do with much more than that. I am a Christian but yesterday I felt like seeing a clairvoyant, a palm reader or anything, anyone just for a quick fix answer.

I feel like I'm involved in some sort of waiting game, what for I dont have a tiny clue and at this point am singing Brandy's Almost Doesn't Count

Almost made you love me
Almost made you cry
Almost made you happy, baby
Didn't I didn't I
You almost had me thinkin'
You were turned around
But everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

Almost heard you saying
You were finally free
What was always missing for you, baby
You'd found it in me
But you can't get to heaven
Half off the ground
Everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

I can't keep on lovin' you
One foot outside the door
I hear a funny hesitation
Of a heart that's never really sure
Can't keep on tryin'
If you're looking for more
Than all that I could give you
Than what you came here for

Gonna find me somebody
Not afraid to let go
Want a no doubt be there kind of man
You came real close
But everytime you built me up
You only let me down
And everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

Maybe you'll be sorry
Maybe you'll be cold
Maybe you'll come runnin' back, baby
From the cruel cruel world
Almost convince me
You're gonna stick around
But everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

So maybe I'll be here
Maybe I'll see ya 'round
That's the way it goes
Almost doesn't count

Almost doesn't count...for love, career, family, everything...and right now, I feel all am getting is almost.

When will the fullness come?

Kismet

This thing they call destiny, fate…whatever do you believe in can be interwoven? People born of different races, creed, background can come together in the future and their fates meet each other. At first one does not know where it is heading, but if one sits back and watch, one will see how it unfolds.

It is with heavy heart I announce the death of my cousin's baby father. Those who follow my blog ardently will know her story. I still haven't heard from her, her mum is hiding away from the family but from a reliable source came the news this morning that he was shot dead right in front of his home by a gang of armed robbers. I am a very sad girl today even though the guy and I did not get on he certainly had something remarkable about him and I am sure my cousin saw even more beyond that.

Where does fate come into this you ask? Well my cousin grew up in America and she had a brother who got into gangs there. He was a rapper and belonged to the West side then he got caught up in the whole Tupac Biggie brouhaha and was shot dead a few months after Tupac died too. Those who know how these gangsters operate would know that it was not just Tupac who died during that time that so many other underground and unknown rappers died too. Sadly he was one of them. He was shot by a drive by shooting in front of a supermarket. He was the only son my aunt had, he was never married neither did he have a child. So really my cousin was the only child that remained for my aunt and it was not before long before she started to misbehave too which culminated in her having a child out of wedlock and for a guy who was well you know what. It is wrong to speak ill of the dead.

As naïve teenagers then, we persuaded my cousin to terminate the pregnancy but words filtered through to her mum and when she got wind of it she made her keep the baby. Thank God for that because now that my cousin is no where to be found, and her brother died years ago, that boy remains the only solace for my aunt. See where fate comes in? Or maybe I'm just trying to see something good out of a pretty bad situation. Now to the baby father who just died, he misbehaved for a long time and was almost cast out by his family. He terrorised a lot of people and it was rumoured that he was involved in cultism and even robbed people sometimes. Fate caught up with him somehow and now he's six feet under but that seed that he planted a few years ago is still here. His son will now be the source of joy both to his parents and to my aunt. I pray that he grows up to be all they wanted his father to be and even more. Deaths in Texas and Lagos, a child born illegitimately, but becomes a beacon of hope for the future. Kismet!

Life is strange, this world baffles me but when things happen and we have no explanation someone supreme knows it all and it is that being we should take everything to. That being is called so many names and I call that being my God, the light that shines my path and sees me forth to a good end.

RIP to the dead ones!

Forbidden Love and Love Misconceptions

I decided to put up this post because of the result of an earlier poll I conducted. A total of 25 people gave their opinion and just over a half of them said yes they would date the friend of an ex. To me that's a very startling result. When I put up that poll I expected more people to go for the "Are you mad" answer and those who would be in the affirmative to be in the minority. On the other hand I am happy that perhaps we as a people are moving away from those factors that forbade us to love. Perhaps we're gradually coming to the realisation that what matters at the end of the day is love? What really is love though?

In my last post I highlighted the situation that occurred between me and the friend of an ex. On reflection, I know now that I rejected him not because he was a friend of my ex but because I just didn't like him enough. Since that time, a friend of another ex has crossed my path and even I am surprised at the amount of feelings I have for him and if circumstances permitted us to be together then I'd gladly jump at the opportunity. Bottom line is when you really like someone and you know within yourself that this person is good for you and you both have honorable intentions, why should something such as him or her being a friend of your ex stop you from experiencing something most people want but only few are lucky enough to have? I am inclined to believe that the seven respondents who said they didn't know if they would date the friend of an ex could change their mind if given good reasons. If the other person is able to prove to them and make them see why they ought to be together, I want to believe that they would welcome the idea. Of course I may be wrong but this is totally my opinion.

Some people would argue that if you once loved your ex then you should never consider his friend later however much time may have passed since you last dated him/her. I started dating now a little under a decade ago and I still cant grasp the full understanding of the word 'love'. I was having a rather interesting chat with someone last week and he asked me if I had ever being in love. I answered saying I thought so but I get confused what love really is sometimes. He then offered a definition saying it is "that feeling that you feel what you never felt before". Yea I've heard that before except that my experience of falling and being in love has defied this modest definition time and time over. I know for certain I've been in love more than once and on those occasions the feeling did feel brand new and perhaps more intense than the previous but it's only a matter of time before I feel like that again where my previous feelings have been dashed. This is not to suggest that I fall in and out of love easily because there is usually a perfectly good reason why I fall out of love. I've been in love with someone I could never be with ever again in my life and don't they say that love never dies?

People say that if you fall in love with someone and later fall out of love with that person then it was not love in the first place but how many people do you know who married that boy or girl they were so crazily in love with for a long time? Most people do not get married to their so-called first love. At least its been eons since I heard such stories. There was always someone before there was you but it does not mean that the former was more special than the latter or does it? Certainly not in most cases or am I just naive? My believe that if you fall in love with someone and it is not watered or if such love does not have the right avenue to grow strong then it will eventually die. It doesn't mean that you never loved, it just meant that you either didn't try enough to keep that love or maybe you tried and the other person just made it extremely difficult for you to keep on. As they say, it takes two.

One of the other things I hear about love is that when you love someone you cant develop feelings for someone else but I know for sure that this is not true. Just because you're in love with someone does not mean that your potential feelings for others will automatically die. It's what you do when you feel for someone else that tests how strong the love you have for the first person is. People just tend to believe that love is all they need and that's where they get it wrong. You cant just have love and then forget about the other factors that makes you a whole person. I liken love to the acceleration you apply to a car to get it going. Yes the car may be a Lamborghini with whatever cylinders and metallic coating and a tank full of  the finest fuel you can get, if you dont get into the driver seat, start the engine and move the car then it is as good as useless. You may even move the car and then drive recklessly and find yourself in the ditch. Love needs careful maneuvering and alertness, it needs looking after and constant polishing. In real life situation we are talking about things such as being faithful, patient, nurturing, attentive, understanding, appreciative, respectful etc. Yes the love you have for someone may want you to want to practice all these things, but it may not necessarily make you practice them. You have to make yourself do so, love just makes it easier to but it is never enough. 

Finally I want to ask the question, does being in love hold the satisfaction one needs to live a fulfilled life? I always wondered but I have come to the realisation that perhaps not. For some it may just be their career and others some adrenaline fueled adventure. I am still finding out where my real satisfaction lies and I'm not sure if I want it to be love cos hmmmm...I rest my case! 

WTF!

listen i said stuff i didnt mean
i apologised and meant it
let me make it up to u
pick any football jersey and i will send it to u

That statement came from a dude that was asking me out a few months back but didnt quite know how to handle rejection and resorted to tongue lashing me instead. Really I haven't stopped laffing...what is the world turning to? Is this how guys apologise for misdeeds these days? Buy me some chavvy jersey and that's it? So razz...shege I don suffer. Guys this dude just dereped una.

This is not a real post...but I just had to share this with my lovely peeps in blogville. Make e no be say na only me go laff. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Much Needed Break

Hello guys, hope y'all are keeping well (yea yea went to yankee for 5 days and now am saying y'all...lmao!). Yes o, I went for a short break in Maryland/DC and met the delectable Abbie. She's such a lovely person and I dont mean to sound patronising but frankly its refreshing to know people like her still exists. My good time started with her, she bought me lunch and showed me some lovely shops for me to do my shopping. This was all in Maryland and on Friday I hooked up with an old friend in DC who I hadn't seen in six years. I dont know how they do it in Yankee but this dude was so generous to the point that he paid for me to stay at the 5* Grand Hyatt, organised for us to go on a cruise and took me to the Baltimore Aquarium. Such magnanimity astounds me especially when it comes from someone not expecting anything back.

One of the highlights of my trip occurred in Baltimore. We had parked like a mile away from the aquarium as we didnt really know where it was. We had to leg it to the place and while walking his eyes caught what he thought was yoruba language written on a stone slab buried into the ground. He called my attention to it and alas it turned out to be the most shocking discovery. See for yourself!

The translation is this;

My only thinking is that this was carved into the grounds built by our forefathers who were taken as slaves. There were other languages such as Chinese and Arabic I think. He tried to explain to me that Baltimore is historically known to be a town where slaves where taken to when they were shipped off Africa. Does anyone know anything about this?

.......................................................................................................

On a lighter note, everyday I have reasons to believe that men are indeed from mars. I think I blogged about how my ex's best friend was asking me out and I told him to get stuffed. Well one of his chatting lines was that he had spoken to my ex and he agreed to him asking me out. Of course I found this ridiculous believing that my ex would never agree to such a thing seeing as he was my first and bla bla bla. In fact a while ago we were discussing getting back together but for the fact that he went to take this Charity job that made it frustrating to communicate so we forgot about that. You can imagine my surprise when his dear old friend told me he had given his go ahead for us to date. Fuming I waited patiently until he was out of the bush that he normally goes to work and after like over 6 weeks of waiting I finally was able to contact him. So I asked him if truly he had given his friends his blessing for us to date and he said well he cant strictly say that but he did tell his friend that if he was interested in me he could go ahead.

By now I was reeling from the shock of his revelation and wondered what he took me for. He tried to placate me and said the reason he said that was because it was not his place to decide who I now like no matter how special things were between us. He then gave me an analogy that if a master had taken his time to look after a dog from when it was a puppy and they had formed a bond and become almost inseparable. Then someone comes along and decides to take the dog from the master he said the natural thing the dog will do is bite and fight the intruder away. In a nutshell he expected me to say NO to his friend but he would not prevent his friend from asking me out. Obviously he was happy that I told his friend where to go but I just cant help but wonder at how men really think. I mean its totally abnormal. A friend of mine cant come to me and says she fancies my ex however long ago it was and I'll say to her to go ahead. Even though I may not mind them dating obviously cos I would have moved on, I will never give her the impression that I don't mind. Anyway I just find it rather funny.

Need to do my blog rounds now guys and it does feel nice to be back to my routine! Have a good week.

The Dark Knight

Okay so I joined the thousands of people who had seen the new Batman film and I must say it was a rather enjoyable experience. I wont into the details of it as I don’t want to spoil it for the other people who still have aspirations of going to see it. The cinematography was awesome alongside for hair raising stunts. I was thoroughly impressed. However I find the subtle theme of the movie rather unsettling. There are various themes that popped out of it and as someone who took film analysis as a module back in uni, I certainly recognised most of them and their various significance. The one I find rather unsettling though was towards the end of the movie, where the joker fantastically played by Heath Ledger managed to turn the man who stood for everything good to the evil side in 60 minutes. I must say quickly here as an aside that Heath, may his soul rest in peace does deserve that posthumous Oscar it has been rumoured he may receive.

Now back to the main point, the District Attorney of Gotham trudged the dirt and scum of the city to bring the perpetrators to book. He was largely seen as the modern day Caesar, the one to finally clean up the streets of a crime ridden metropolis. He stood for everything upright and honourable but due to lack of communication and perhaps the very organised friends of the joker who help him pull of the sickest of all rampages in an already downtrodden city, he eventually turned evil himself. The joker was able to convince him in a matter of minutes that the friends he had known and worked with for the most of his professional career where untrustworthy zealots who planned to take him out. I mean this same joker whom everyone cringes at the sight of and who is solely responsible for a large chunk of the ill that befell the city managed to convince the DA that his friends were untrustworthy? Even if there were would a good person not try to find out for himself is this joker has an iota of seriousness in him?

How could someone who has been so good for the most part of his life just turn bad like that. I think that is a rather disturbing message to send out to people that a life of dedication and uprightness could mean nothing in a matter of minutes. People who do good may become discouraged if evil is portrayed to have such power. But really does evil have that much power and capabilities or I'm just been paranoid? That single messages negates all the principle I learnt as a growing child that good surpasses all things and is most powerful. If there's any truth in what I have learnt that how come evil triumphed over good in the case of this young and promising DA?

I think script writers, directors and producers should be careful the sort of messages they convey through their movies. For who in the world would really want to continue to do good if they feel that the people around them do not have their interest at heart. People will simply become nonchalant and just do whatever they like if its that easy to turn to the dark side. Already we see that more and more people are becoming selfish, me inclusive. They give less thought to their neighbours and more to what they can get out of any situations and movies like this will just make an already bad situation worse. I just hope that people who go to see the movie do not concentrate on the theme I picked out!

Have a blessed week guys.

P.S.
Please remember to vote in my little poll on the right there. Many thanks.

Revenge is Sweet

Hahahahaha...am so laffing. Some dude just made my whole week. Okay this is the story. I met this guy o, a while ago. Spanking clean guy o. He doesn't have a Will Smith face but he can hold his own wherever he goes. A guy who hits the gym and has a physique to die for, carries himself with such charisma, works as an investment banker, has his own home and even more spanking friends. His taste is exquisite, inexpensive but totally classy and he knows how to enjoy the simple things of life. He is so well mannered and treats a lady with respect (at least that was the way he treated me). In short, the sort of guy any girl would dream to wake up to for the rest of her life. Except for the small fact that bobo thinks that he is God's gift to women o. Ok we met and he kept the call going for a while, once in a while I must say. He basically kept me on the edge, making me wait for his call and waiting for the time he was gonna ask me out on a date. Well as per babe too, I mustered all the will power I had from wherever they were deep buried o and I waited it out until the day he finally said let's go out.

Bobo chooses wagamama at the west end as if he knew that I cant work a pair of chopsticks. Anyway dinner went ok and we went to a nearby bar for a drink where I hung to every word of his the whole time. He must have noticed I was drooling cos just then he announced that we were leaving. We took our leave o and he drops me home saying "i'll call". I thought hmmm, you better do. Bobo called as promised the night after and we spoke for a bit. I thot well he made the first call which is a good dating sign now. I called bobo a few nights later for some idle chat but we didnt talk much before he said he was gonna call me back Call back didnt come until three nights later. I was seething the whole time before the call but as soon as my phone rang and I saw his name my heart melted. We started to talk o and a minute later bobo gets a call on his house phone says he was gonna call back. Call back didnt come for another week or so before I then decided to call o. I called bobo and in his usual style he said he'll cal lme back after less than 1 minute of speaking. By now your girl was blind with fury and as soon as I got off the phone I deleted bobo's number o. It was so hard getting him out of my mind o but I did one way or other.

Guess what my people? My phone rings tonight almost a month after bobos efizy and it was a number I was not familiar with. Hmm I picked up and said "hello who's this" and there was silence from the other end. Next thing I heard was a deep sigh and a solemn 'so you deleted my number'. I knew it was bobo one time and I just started to laff uncontrollably. I laffed and laffed and laffed and poor thinh he must have been wondering is i was mad. It felt so good getting one over him. Even though I knew it was him, I pretended as if I didnt know. He felt so embarrassed and said he was gonna call me back instead. I know he ain't gonna call and I frankly dont give a damn but am glad I was able to show him that girls these days dont wait around for men no more. He may have been doing it with other girls but it wont wash with this babe! Ah so fine boys also cry? Shege! Bobo made my night o. He so made my night. Yes you're hot but am HOTTER! Go tell your mama. Girls its doable. A guy tries to prove he's all that and a bag of chips? You tell him where to stick it Hahahahahah!

My weekend is gonna be fun! Enjoy urs too.

Men Are Becoming Sissies

We all know most women are preoccupied with their appearance and philosophers such as Sigmund Freud put this down to women's narcissistic nature. Women's narcissism he says was developed as a result of 'penis envy' because during our evolution from infancy to girls we stopped short of developing what he calls the super-ego. Men on the other side developed the super ego that's why they pay more attention to external things such as amassing wealth than personal beauty.

Susan Bordo, Wendy Chapkis among other early feminists were obviously opposed to this view and posited that patriarchal culture is to be blamed for women's intense pursuit of beauty.. They claim that it is not biological for women to want to seek beauty above other things but rather because from birth there have been gender roles demarcated for both sexes where girls are bought dolls and dressed in gowns while boys are encouraged to be involved in activities related to display of strength and vigour such as sports.

Why am I going all academic? Well my point is from the word go we all know there are gender roles. We've come to expect the woman to pay attention to her physical appearance while making herself desirable to men. The man on the other hand is expected to be all macho and work hard to get a fat bank balance. As women we are expected to attribute things such as rippling muscles, hard square jaw, hard bodies and the likes to a real man. The closest a man could ever dream to being feminine is to smell nice. Other than this, nothing but an 'alpha male' will do.

Fast forward 21st century, gender roles is beginning to be blurred and it is now commonplace to find women in positions hitherto occupied by men and vice versa. However who could ever think that men would become so effeminate? They coined a new term 'metrosexual' to describe heterosexual men who have a strong concern for their appearance. A good example of a metrosexual man is David Beckham. Some women tried to come to terms with this new soft alpha male with ladies like me even preferring a metrosexual brother as long as he stops short of being gay and vain. I mean who needs a sissy?

Alas last Friday I was reading my favourite evening paper, The Londonpaper and six or seven pages down the headlines blared 'Guyliner or Manscara..? Splashed over the page were men who had applied eyeliner and looked no more than a court jester. I'm like what is this? To my horror the article covered how super drug had released a make up line for men. What for? Why on earth will any real man need a eye liner? I'm all for using moisturisers and perhaps eye brow trimming but eye liner or mascara? As if that was not enough, on BBC breakfast this morning, they unearth how tights are now being made for men and I'm thinking would they need to start wearing skirts too? I certainly don’t wear tights when I wear trousers so why is there a need for tights to be made for men?

I guess the implication for this is that most of the gender theories that have been developed in the past to explain the differences between man and woman may need to be revised. The likes of Freud unfortunately he's dead now would have to go back to the drawing board and re-write their theories. I am thinking the feminists are right on this one, gender roles are man-made and not nature based. I personally think that after God created the foundations of the world everything else that was created including culture, religion, beliefs, norms etc are man-made and if it is manmade it is changeable.

Have a good week everyone.

The Woes of a Single Girl

I hate to announce to the world that I'm single but I'm sure the regulars of my blog know my story already so this doesn't feel much like am baring it all. Being single has been so full of drama, much drama than I anticipated and I don't know if a loathe or cherish it. You see this is the longest I've been single in my entire life of active dating which started about 8 years ago. Its not like I've ever been afraid of going it alone but I get so much attention from guys that its difficult to make a decision to be alone and of course fighting off the advances is real work. Even now sef I wonder if I'm truly single because I do have a love interest. To me 3 months of being single is a feat indeed. I've only ever managed a week in the past. It shows am growing more mature.

See men are a funny lot, I mean they never stop to astound me. In the past week also they've been coming out in their full glory and proving to me over and over again that one should only take their profession of love with a pinch of salt. Take for instance Kay, a guy I met when I was 13. I know what you're thinking and even I am aghast at the sort of dealings I had with men at that age. I hate to blow my own trumpet but I have been fighting away boys as old as 18 from the tender age of 12. I was a big girl for my age...my koko (you girls know) started at 8 and by 10 my aunt will tease me that my abo (bum) is starting to be visible. I didn't take much notice of these changes going through my body because after all it was my body and I still sucked my fingers. Ahem, yes I didn't stop sucking my fingers until JS2 so yes I was a big baby. No one new my secret of course, except my brothers.

Sorry to deviate, anyway Kay was a guy I met in Lagos during the long break we have after the JS3 exams. We both liked each other but as we were both young we knew our boundaries even though he had finished secondary school by then. I remember us dancing to the song 'I swear' in their living room but that was how far we went. Well maybe we shared a chaste kiss sha...after all one does't become pregnant from a kiss even though our parents lied to us that we will. What bull thinking of it now. Anyways as I don't live in Lagos, I had to go back to my home town at the end of the holidays and inadvertently said my goodbye to Kay. I still haven't seen him up till today except that a few weeks ago we jammed on FB. Yes almighty FB. Naturally there was excitement and all. He's now a big boy and works for a oil company in Lagos. He called me and we spoke for hours. Next day I receive an email from him saying lets start again from where we paused except that he was forgetting a little information on his FB page that he was engaged. I was quick to call his attention to it and lo and behold man went to quickly change his status from engaged to networking. What gives? Men I ask una why bother?

The two other interesting encounter I had with men all trying to get into my pants involved one 24 year old guy. Admittedly I was the one who added him on FB but that was because I thought he was an old friend. By the time we got talking I found he was not the one but that was enough time for him to confess undying love. I told man that I was 2 years older than him that I preferred my men mature both in age and mental faculties and he went on about how he didn't know I was older blablabla that he cant even go there too cos his parents would not approve and that he just couldn't handle an older woman. Just as I thought I had seen the back of him he contacts me again to say he couldn't get me off his mind and that he wanted us to get married. All this happened within 2 weeks. Now I'm wondering if I give these men impression that I'm stupid or desperate because I felt rather insulted that one small 24 year old boy will attempt to get into my pants with the promise of marriage. I really don't know where I got the strength to send him on his way without cursing his father.

The last but not the least was another old time friend who had 'engaged' on his FB profile too only to spend 1 hour with me on the phone last night saying he thinks that his fiancée of 4 years is wrong for him. When I asked him why, he obviously didn't have any tangible reason. Long and short of it was that he's always had a thing for me and he feels that God brought us back together for a reason. Hello! So ri ila loju mi ni? (Do I look like I've got tribal marks on my face...a derogatory phrase that suggests one is not socially savvy).

Well that's a glimpse of what has been going on with me in that wise o and frankly its really making it easier for me to remain single. If these are the calibre of men available these days I'll gladly remain single. I really don't know why men think women are stupid. I know there were those days when women hung to every word a man said to them, believing his every promise and having their hearts shattered in the end. But this is the 21st century and it seems that men are still stuck in the mentality of the twentieth or nineteenth century. A man need not tell a lie about what he wants because a woman can see right through these days. I believe women today often go into a relationship with their eyes and ears open and they know what to expect. A decision to date is no longer reliant on the man's lyrics or empty promises but on what the lady feels is good for her at the time. So please men go back to the drawing board and do away with all your annoying wooing tactics. Frankly its so jaded!

Is the Holy Spirit a Man?

Okay…this article may not go down well with a few Christians so if you are sometimes averse to hearing other people's point of view it may not be a bad idea to pass now. This is not going to be a stinging article at Christians or Christianity because I am a Christian too, but I'm just eager to share some of my uneasiness with regards to certain happenings within the Anglican church now and no before you ask am not an Anglican. I'm just a girl who is interested in world affairs especially that which affects me in some ways.

If you've been following the news closely the past few weeks you will be aware of the storm brewing in this traditional church and one which threatens to divide it. First it was the ordination of a gay Bishop, second it was the solemnization of a marriage ceremony between two gay Priests and more recently it is the debate to allow women be ordinated as Bishops. The tradition of only allowing men to be priests in both the Anglican and Catholic stems I believe from the teachings in the bible. 1st Corinthians 14:34-35 reads that women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35, If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.

Take note of the reference to the law in the verse which means that long before Apostle Paul's teaching, it had been in place not to allow women take to the pulpit and this was widely practiced in Corinth. People who've read the story of the Apostle Paul will know how holy and spirit filled he became after God turned him into a new leaf following his persecutions of Christians in Damascus. He went on to write several letters to all the early churches in Ephesus, Galatia, Corinth etc and the letters he wrote them is what forms most part of the teachings of the new testament. No doubt Apostle Paul was highly qualified to teach what he believes was the mind of God in most matters. For this reason, are we then to accept that the holy spirit was sanctioning this practise through the teachings of Apostle Paul? Is this really God's mind or just an extension of a tradition and law that has for long relegated women to the back seat and to further manhood and patriarchal ideology?

Most indication from the bible shows women's role within the society as secondary. Where men are involved they are expected to play second fiddle. Proverbs 31: 10 downward describes the woman who is worth far more than rubies which obviously could be seen as the epitome of perfection and for other women to emulate. I struggle to find a similar passage for men. Someone help me out here. What happened to God's instruction about the man tilling the ground to provide for his family in Genesis when he booted Adam and Eve out of the Garden. Plenty of chapters down it is the woman who suddenly has to travel far and wide to bring her food like a merchant ship. I find it irksome that women are expected to dedicate their whole life to the service of their husband and keeping their home and must be happy to do so. Anything contrary to this arrangement and she's bound to incur the wrath of the law and its custodians. However God used women like Deborah, Ruth, Miriam Tabitha etc to carry out his work on earth and this to me shows that God is not gender biased no matter how much some of the teachings in the bible seem to portray this. To me this bias infiltrated the teachings of the bible through the laws and customs that already governed the people. It doesn't matter to me that God is often referred to in pronouns such as Him or He because I know that God is a spirit and has no gender.

Doesn’t the bible teach us that we all carry an anointing and all have gifts according to that which the Holy Spirit has bestowed upon us? So how come it is only men who just happen to have the gift of becoming a Priest or Bishop? What gives more right for a man to stand at the pulpit to teach the bible, prophesying, healing people and calling them to repentance that makes a woman incapable of doing the same? I know certainly that when there are two masters on a ship, there's a high chance of that ship capsizing but I'm saying there shouldn't be gender roles for men and women when it comes to profession. Anyone should be able to choose to do what they want to do provided they have shown the skills and mental aptitude needed to undertake such profession. I know order is needed in a society and there is a need to distinguish sometimes, but not when it comes to things that brings genuine fulfilment and that which God will not generally frown upon. I am a woman, I love being a woman and I recognise that there are certain things expected of me as a woman, but I will only do those things as long as it pleases me and I know am not displeasing God. I know Jesus Christ did say give onto God what is God's and on to Caesar what is Caesar's which means that he recognises some of the laws that govern peoples' lives but I doubt he recognises a law that persecutes and discriminates against women.

Women have always considered to being at the mercy of the debilitating condition i.e.. their monthly flow but does that make them incapable of handling the work of God. Perhaps some of it flow from the tradition that a woman on her period in impure in the sight of God therefore she cannot be fit to come into the presence of God all the time. Leviticus 15:19 " 'When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening. I went to a catholic school and I know when all of our sisters are on their monthly because they don’t wear there normal attire which I find rather ridiculing because everyone will know she's got the pees. This may be the reason why men who have for as long as we can remember have been at the helm of affairs decided to instil an institution that will make it illegitimate for women to do certain things. There are a good number of female vicars but why cant they be made Bishops as well if they fully merit it? Don't men have discharges too? In Leviticus 15 The LORD said to Moses and Aaron, 2 "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'When any man has a bodily discharge, the discharge is unclean. 3 Whether it continues flowing from his body or is blocked, it will make him unclean. Reading further 'When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. 17 Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. Now for Vicars in Anglican churches who are allowed to have wives and all, wouldnt it make it impure for them to be in the house of the Lord and carry out their duties. Double standards right there. One rule for women and another for men.

Am tired of typing but the whole point of my bleating is that let's not confuse the things that God is really concerned about with the pursuits or our own tradition or beliefs. Christianity is not about either. Its about the call of a people to be holy and to love God with all their hearts while serving him in spirit and in truth. It overrides gender or racial differences. It doesn’t matter whether you're man or woman and once God has given you a mantle to lead let no church tradition or society norm hold you back because the holy Spirit is not biased, neither is it man or woman.

My Cousin (Part 2)

Ah...I saw all the comments so by popular demand I've had to post the part 2 earlier than I planned. Y'all are forgetting that this story is not about me. I just gave this prelude so that you can understand how she thinks and how it came to be that am looking for her now. I didnt plan on advancing church guy story beyond the point I stopped in the previous but am gonna do a quick summary.

I liked the guy and she liked him but he likes me which naturally gave me a upper hand. However being cousins I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I spoke to her about letting me be with him but she wasn't happy so I gave up on my mission. It was pure torture seeing church guy every Sunday and not being able to talk to him. The torture was not to last though cos Spice on finding out that he will never look her side set her gaze on someone else. The guy lived on the other street to ours and to say he's a hunk is an understatement. The guy was fit, much more than church guy and even I got jealous. However the dilemma was how to get this guy to notice her. So every evening after doing up our make-up and wearing our minis we'll head up to the junction of the guy's street. The reason we did this was because we noticed he had a pattern of taking a stroll in the evening. It was as if he wanted to be noticed too because he always looked fresh and sharp. For days we would do our mini camping but the guy failed to talk to either of us girls and we were getting frustrated.

So one day I decided I had had enough. I wanted to seriously be with church guy and I was hoping that this guy will take Spice's mind off him for good. So on one of our camping trips I summoned up courage and walked up to fine boy as I have now chosen to call him. I was startled that he smiled broadly but then my heart started to pound loudly. I could have sworn he heard it but the smile on his face assured me that I was making a fool of myself. I told him my name, introduced my cousin and just basically told him that he seemed not to have lots of friends in the neighbourhood because he was always alone and we wanted to be his friend. Surprisingly he was more forthcoming than we thought and he asked us over to his place. Turned out fine boy was a pro in scrabble and chess and Spice had the same interest so that was sorted. Soon Spice started to go there by herself and I was left alone to go after church guy. It didnt last with Fine boy and Spice though because shortly after Spice went on holiday to Texas came back with lots of gift for him he promptly dumped her for her childish behaviour. I know Spice can be childish a lot of the time but Fine boy really hurt her because he made sure he slept with her one last time before announcing it was over.

Spice's claws was all out for me as if I was the one who made things go wrong. I mean I was with church boy and we were happy but she felt I was responsible somehow. Things just basically went from bad to worse and whatever was left of her self esteem took a nose dive. I think that was the point Spice became notorious because she then started to see the bad boy of the neighbourhood. Bad boy was not in school, was skinny as if he had HIV (in fact it was rumoured that he did), was blacker than charcoal and was a cult boy (it was also rumoured that he had a gun that he used to steal things from motorists on the third mainland bridge). Long and short, bad boy was bad news but spice was too in love to see. He treated her like dirt but she went back for more. One day I got fed up and scolded him to leave my cousin alone only to find a group of boys issuing me warning a few days later if I didnt back off. Scared for my life I shut up cos I found that everything I told Spice about bad boy filters back to him.

So I left them alone and went to uni. By the time I came back Spice had become pregnant for bad boy which was pretty bad because unlike the rest of us who had passed WAEC and JAMB and headed to uni, she was still struggling to pass hers. And y'all know that in Nigeria when a girl falls pregnant out of wedlock and without certain level of education it is automatically assumed that her life is over. We found out then that Bad boy had been hoping that if he knocked up Spice they will get married and she can file for him to move to Yankee. Clearly Spice was hurt when we found out and she planned to get rid of the baby but on the said day of the termination her mum got wind of it and barred her from doing it.

Things never remained the same again. I left Nigeria a few months after Spice put to bed and the next time I saw her was 5 yrs later when she called me to say that she was in London. I went to see her in the hotel she was holed up in and saw her with another good for nothing bloke. Basically it was pure mistake that I gave her my number because shortly after that I started getting foreign calls on my phone saying that spice took their $10k away and they are sending people after her to kill her. They threatened that if I didnt tell them where she was they were gonna send people after me too but I threatened them back saying the call can be traced therefore I'd report to the police. Spice couldn't give me sufficient information as to why these people were after her so I just kept my distance and she disappeared into oblivion.

2 months later I got a call from Spice's mum saying they didnt know where she was but I told her I didnt know either. Turned out Spice had done another deal involving $80k and was now in custody in the US. Somehow she made a deal and was let off. Spice resurfaced in my life again telling me she had cleaned up her act and we were even planning to meet up but the week we planned it for she disappeared again. Phone off and no reply to my messages. This was back in May and I still haven't heard from her neither has her mum. Now am scared she's got herself into another trouble. Should I be worried guys?